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Thread: recent arguments on the forum.

  1. #1
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    recent arguments on the forum.

    Hi All,

    Just a thread about things that has have been happening on the forum and Admins response to them, not aimed at any one person in particular but all that have been involved. There will be no arguing on this thread please only comment on it if you have constructive to say, any comments we deem to not be constructive will be removed!

    You may have noticed a little bit of tension on the NMP forums in the past week or so which the Admin team has been doing its best to resolve.

    We have been finding it difficult as just when we think we have got through it all, another thread is hijacked and then we have more threads and messages to sort through so then it never ends up being sorted at all.

    To be honest how we now see it is 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, no matter what started it, it now appears to be one ‘gang’ against another. This is another reason why we are finding it difficult to sort out.

    No More Panic is NOT about that, it is about everyone supporting others through anxiety and panic, and it has saddened the admins how that has been forgotten over the past week! If you cannot answer constructively on a thread then it is best not to post at all as things like this happen on occasion. It causes more grief and anxiety for members even if they aren’t involved in the ‘arguments’.

    Please ask yourself this and answer it honestly to yourself….. Could anything I have said over the last week have been taken the wrong way and caused someone more anxiety? Because I think a lot of you would honestly have to answer it with a yes!

    NMP is not about sides, there are no ‘leaders’ (we admins see our role as facilitators, intervening only when absolutely necessary) and it certainly doesn’t condone ‘gangs’ of people pitting themselves against one another! We totally understand that it is a big community and that not everyone is going to get on with each other, but is there actually any need to bring that into public?? It just shows you in a negative light and as we have seen, it makes things turn ugly on the forum causing more anxiety.

    In all honesty, now this has turned into a free for all we have no idea who to ‘have words with’ and who to warn, nor what or who started it. But what we do ask is for it to stop now as it is not helping anyone at all. We may have messages to send out to a few people but I think we need to leave the ‘dust to settle’ a bit before we do that.

    Thank you to those who have apologised to us and in public that is much appreciated.

    We just ask you to remember what NMP is about which is support!!

    One last point I would like to make about the Admin team as there have been some negative comments made about us that I would like to address.

    The admins cannot be on the forum 24x7 as we all have jobs and lives as well, but we do ask people to report posts, if they want to bring it to our attention, using the triangle button on the top right of a post. We also ask that individuals send us messages and not pass messages on via other members. We are not that scary lol.

    Some of the admins choose to set their on-line status to invisible but that does not mean we are not on the forum. This means we do not show up on the active members list on the bottom of the forum but it does not mean to say that we are not on-line.

    We all have lives to lead too, me personally I have work and also studying for a course and many times recently I have had to stop work to deal with things on here which should not be the case. At the minute, I should be doing an assessment for the course but I am here trying to sort this out instead.

    We are all here voluntarily; sometimes a lot more than we should be, but there is normally one of us online at any given time and it is a large and time-consuming job making sure each member is safe on the site, removing spammers, sifting through members, checking they are ‘legit’ and reading all the posts plus more! Please give us a little bit of grace, we cannot all be on here 24/7. One final point: we are also anxiety sufferers which means we understand but also, on occasion, have our own problems to contend with. We rarely ask for support on the forums but we appreciate the responses we get when we do.

    NMP Admin team
    Last edited by nomorepanic; 02-07-15 at 20:09.
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  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    Re: recent arguments on the forum.

    I would like to apologise if anything I have said has hurt anyone in any way or caused anxiety. This site has been very useful to me on many occasions and it would be a shame if it stopped feeling like the safe place it is for many of us x

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
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    1,348

    Re: recent arguments on the forum.

    Some posts I only answer because no one else has, but I find myself not wanting to now. See even though I have a lot of experience dealing with people on sites (yes plural) and off site, personal, one to one or Email. it is still hard to tell what the other person is thinking and that you have seen can change in seconds with the wrong word. People change stride in mid sentence. The only safe response is to agree with them. Sometimes though that is not what they need. This site has very good PM, please use it, If I say something you don't like tell me by PM and I will remove it. I can not remove whole threads if they are important to someone else but if I find them offensive I should also be able to request they be removed. Most of this isn't important as they fade off the screen rather fast, like this one will unless bumped.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    1

    Re: recent arguments on the forum.

    not involved directly but a little while back I was hugely annoyed on the health anxiety board, then got a sarky telling off from a member who I wrongly thought was admin, then various pm`s were exchanged, all a load of nothing in reality.

    this forum is a double edged sword in that most anxious people are desperate for that silver bullet that will stop anxiety in its tracks, yet anyone who`s been in difficulties for a while can accurately say that its one day at a time, and even `normal` people can get very anxious, jittery, sleepless etc - they just don`t particularly attach it to a condition, rather just a bad day / wobbler etc

    people are bound to have opinions or issues, but I think unless it`s downright evil or personal most things can be sorted out with open discussion, when it cant then admin can jump in and apply the already stated rules

    it`s certainly been a lot more aggressive lately than I`ve known it in a lot of years, but as for rights and wrongs I can`t say - but I do know that a forum, in it`s original defintition, is a large group of people all with differing opinions who have the right to be heard, so with that in mind I`d hope we can all play in the same sandpit without anyone getting beaten up so to speak.

  5. #5
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    Re: recent arguments on the forum.

    Quote Originally Posted by paulmoldeeside View Post
    not involved directly but a little while back I was hugely annoyed on the health anxiety board, then got a sarky telling off from a member who I wrongly thought was admin, then various pm`s were exchanged, all a load of nothing in reality.

    this forum is a double edged sword in that most anxious people are desperate for that silver bullet that will stop anxiety in its tracks, yet anyone who`s been in difficulties for a while can accurately say that its one day at a time, and even `normal` people can get very anxious, jittery, sleepless etc - they just don`t particularly attach it to a condition, rather just a bad day / wobbler etc

    people are bound to have opinions or issues, but I think unless it`s downright evil or personal most things can be sorted out with open discussion, when it cant then admin can jump in and apply the already stated rules

    it`s certainly been a lot more aggressive lately than I`ve known it in a lot of years, but as for rights and wrongs I can`t say - but I do know that a forum, in it`s original defintition, is a large group of people all with differing opinions who have the right to be heard, so with that in mind I`d hope we can all play in the same sandpit without anyone getting beaten up so to speak.
    This IS interesting. I find myself wondering whether this is about opportunity or something else? There is possibility of action against people and some have called for bans and this situation from over a month ago has returned. Of course, there is a lot more to this story than Paul is letting on.

    I could say more but would I be falling into a convenient trap? Are people assuming that I am on Davit's "side" just because I am talking to him and not arguing with him? If you are, you are making an incorrect assumption because it is not a matter of sides for me, I get on with people on both ends of the recent disagreements.

    Nic - I am sorry about this but I am afraid we are going to have to get into this one too now. I am quite prepared to do so in public view but I am not interested in slanging matches, only to show the details of the threads and my PM responses showing my explanation, my acceptance of this members explanation, my apology and my attempts to get him to stay on NMP. This has already been sent to admin a month ago as I thought someone else may have more success in calming the situation.

    The later defamation of my character was an issue I left in admin hands but sadly, nothing happened and it remains in view and now I will have to make a small address on there as other people made comments and I do not wish them to think I have any ill will towards them (they may not have known who they were being led to refer to?). I did apologise in a thread to Paul which can still be seen.

    Just because no name is added to a thread doesn't mean people do not know who is being referred to. It is a way that some think is clever, however it matches what was sent on PM to me and ties with the situation on the threads in content, timing and my public apology hence it would be foolish to believe others haven't noticed.

    When the defamatory post appeared, I notified admin that I was unhappy with it because I knew this member was not in a good place at the time and I asked for them to deal with it rather than me make the situation worse by posting or PMing as my previous attempts had only resulted in further anger. I understand why and I didn't have an issue with that at the time. However, I did state that I was unhappy with that post and how it was being used and further stated that I will not tolerate further ones. As you can see, this has happened now.

    I will await your response. There is no rush and I have nothing to hide but I don't want to create another situation out of this whilst at the same time I am not going to allow others to continue to make comments about me or feel they can act with impunity for some reason.
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  6. #6
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    Re: recent arguments on the forum.

    Today I find myself asking what I am doing here.

  7. #7
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    Re: recent arguments on the forum.

    The term "gang" is a strong one in terms of negatives and I don't think there are any anyway. It can be a term people use for less negative reasons but its a question of how it is implied and this can be hard to understand in written form. I'm not sure where "leaders" comes from either. All I see is some people who are unhappy with each other or is there some suggestion of coordination involved in this?

    Last night Davit was picked up on a strong term that could be perceived as being offensive and I think we should be mindful of terms like this too as they put people in buckets, they can also be offensive to some. Offence can be a matter of a persons perspective based on their condition or their severity so its a presumption on my part but worth mentioning because I regard it as false.

    I'll admit to being negative about admin on here, I've stated it a few times. The recent situations seemed to have appeared because something has changed because whilst this has been happening since I joined, I can't recall things going so far or so long before a situation had to be stopped because it was clearly not going to end on its own. I don't know why that is, I've assumed that the admin team are busy with their own lives, but that doesn't mean it can't be raised as a criticism, a constructive one. No offence should be taken to that.

    I believe certain recent events could have been caught quicker because they have in the past. There have been people on the end of heated discussions and we don't know how they are/were affected by them and unless members step in, most likely inflaming a bad situation even more, then I've always assumed it to something for admin whether they see it or someone reports it and they deem it necessary to intervene. Thats my experience of other forums.

    So, on a couple of occasions I have said something along these lines. I think the last time was to Ricardo and its not actually connected to this alone anyway.

    The reasons for my negativity otherwise, I feel I cannot go into on here and are something I should send to Nic. The above situation is included in this which I was hoping not to make public and have resisted in doing so because it can easily mean repercussions against me that can be driven by the T&C's. These are my main reasons for no longer donating at this time, which is not a financial decision, but a vote of no confidence (of sorts).

    We all know there will be disputes. I've known there are groups of people who get on more on here since not long after I joined, its not difficult to spot things like this. Thats just forums, they are all like that I'm sure because they have people in them and its something that people often just do. There is nothing wrong with this.

    I think these issues go back a bit further than you are suggesting and maybe that is why it seems confusing as to how this has started. These threads are just where it all bubbled up.
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    For free Mindfulness resources, please see this thread I have created to compile many sources together http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=168689

  8. #8
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    Re: recent arguments on the forum.

    terry I genuinely, sincerely and truly have not got a clue what you`re hinting at here.

    there is more to it than I`m letting on?

    no mate there really isn`t. I got wound up by a lady on the health forum and posted things I really shouldn`t have, I let my anger spill out and wanted my account deleted, you posted `very mature` and that didn`t help. I did think you were admin because you had several thousand posts and seemed to know what you were talking about - my mistake, nothing to hide, my asking for deletion was about half six in the morning from what I recall.

    I am a fairly simple soul and really not out to be in anyones gang, there are some strong personalities on here and I`m not one of them.

    this is the only forum Im on and I don`t know what others are like, I don`t know davit or anyone else, and I don`t know where all the recent issues have blown up from apart from my own which as ive said was me posting when I should have gone for a brew and a calm down

    I`ll leave you all to it and come back when hopefully its sorted but I really don`t get what you mean Terry, this isn`t the matrix or some exciting novel, it`s real life and I`m not on your wavelength at all

  9. #9
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    Re: recent arguments on the forum.

    As said above, I'll await a response as to whether to discuss this further. As mentioned, I do not wish to create another situation like we have already seen recently.
    __________________
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    For free Mindfulness resources, please see this thread I have created to compile many sources together http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=168689

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    Re: recent arguments on the forum.

    Terry

    You are a prolific poster so excuse me if I haven't read all of the most recent ones.

    Am I right in assuming that you don't wish to contribute anymore towards the running of NMP because you feel admin aren't monitoring the site as well as you expect., or have I got that wrong (as usual). If I am right surely it would be more prudent to have stated this privately to Nic as all this does is cause more friction on here.

    I have apologised though I didn't really need to, but did it for the sake of NMP but regardless who it is, bad language and insulting people on a regular basis should be stamped out much sooner, then perhaps strong words such as "ban" wouldn't have been necessary as things would have been nicked in the bud.

    The more important point is that nearly all people on here have various degrees of mental illnesss (a phrase I don't like) and as I said before all this does is raise stress and anxiety levels to many and they don't post as they don't want to see arguments on here on a daily basis.

    We are not doctors and can only offer advise on our own personal experiences, which will differ from person to person.

    We really need to move on and I have only commented as you mentioned my name above.

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