Computer program (especially for the guys)

[Rennie1989]

An email I got today from a friend, I thought I would share it with everybody

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Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try
and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that these two systems detected each other and they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2004. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called motherinlaw, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[clickaway]

Tee Hee

I have found that increasing your RAM from 256 to 512 doesn't work either.

Meaning Random Argument Module.

Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[matt1981]

hehe nice made me chuckle!

[999madmax]

HeHe!!
Almost like real life!! :(

HeHe HeHe


Very funny!! [^][^][^]

LOL
Madmax
-*-

[jo61]

That is so good. Gave me a great laugh


Jo

[josh]

haha like it just dont tell the wife i said so
josh

[Krakers]

Hi Jadey - seems like you got a better bundle than me. Wife 1.0 didn't come with CleanHouse2004, and FreeSexPlus was a trial version unbeknown to me. It also seems to shut down on a regualr basis with a bad head crash.

Aside from this I've now noticed that wife 1.0 is spawning child processess which dramaticallly increase the demand on system resources. No mention was made of this at the time or documentation, but similar users have reported the same bug and have informed me that its to be expected becasuse of the nature of the application.

I have been able to get my hands on a series of shareware applications, and would advise you to install them in order to make Wife 1.0 more user friendly :

I suggest installing the background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs) in the manual. You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGISE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGISE command before the Wife 1.0 will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

In addition to the shareware out there, you may also consider buying a few commercial off the shelf add-ons. Software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. includes Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the Wife 1.0 and in some cases has been known to damage the I/O port beyond repair.

Mistress 2003 isn't all its cracked up to be either. After your first 6 month trial period, you get constant pop-ups advising to upgrade to Wife 2.0. Its just not worth the trouble, especially when any virus contained in Mistress 2003 is autodetected by Wife 1.0 and can lead to a total system crash. Look in your manual under “Warnings - Alimony/Child support”. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

Krakers.