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Thread: I need help and advice - Tokiphobia?

  1. #11

    Re: I need help and advice - Tokiphobia?

    Hey, girl! I'm 29 too. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I was always wondering how I'd cope with pregnancy, the birth, after etc. Turns out something with the change of my hormones made me almost immune to panic the entire 9 months. Didn't suffer one. Had a few anxious moments but that was it. I was still socially awkward at college etc but that was it. I actually felt okay the whole time. Maybe this was due to having to decrease caffeine intake drastically too but who knows? The birth itself was not frightening. I was worried prior to it about having palpitations or passing out - but neither ever happened. As for the responsibility of taking care of a kid - it's like a roller coaster sometimes - especially as a single mom here - but in the end it's all completely and totally worth it having a mini-you in your life. They are challenging and not always cooperative kids - but kids are awesome - and aside from the father that she has - I would not change a thing. I will say tantrums tend to make me anxious - but it's getting better.

    Also, I was on Zoloft and Xanax at the time of the positive test and I was totally okay after going cold turkey. Some people do stay on medicines that are said to be safe to the fetus during pregnancy however I didn't want to risk that.

    If you have any questions or anything I'm around!

  2. #12

    Re: I need help and advice - Tokiphobia?

    Quote Originally Posted by fallingstar View Post
    Hey, girl! I'm 29 too. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I was always wondering how I'd cope with pregnancy, the birth, after etc. Turns out something with the change of my hormones made me almost immune to panic the entire 9 months. Didn't suffer one. Had a few anxious moments but that was it. I was still socially awkward at college etc but that was it. I actually felt okay the whole time. Maybe this was due to having to decrease caffeine intake drastically too but who knows? The birth itself was not frightening. I was worried prior to it about having palpitations or passing out - but neither ever happened. As for the responsibility of taking care of a kid - it's like a roller coaster sometimes - especially as a single mom here - but in the end it's all completely and totally worth it having a mini-you in your life. They are challenging and not always cooperative kids - but kids are awesome - and aside from the father that she has - I would not change a thing. I will say tantrums tend to make me anxious - but it's getting better.

    Also, I was on Zoloft and Xanax at the time of the positive test and I was totally okay after going cold turkey. Some people do stay on medicines that are said to be safe to the fetus during pregnancy however I didn't want to risk that.

    If you have any questions or anything I'm around!
    Thank you!
    Your experience gives me hope I can do this too! Even though I still get to hear awful stories from people around me, I'm starting to believe I can go through it.

    I will not lie. I am still petrified. But thank you everyone for your input!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    1,156

    Re: I need help and advice - Tokiphobia?

    That's a good attitude, you CAN do it. X

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    68

    Re: I need help and advice - Tokiphobia?

    Sorry to hear of your difficulties with this. I too was terrified of being trapped by pregnancy and even more scared of birth. I read and re read an excellent book called love works like this by Lauren Slater, it really helped me as she too had lots of issues around this subject.
    I'm so glad I had my daughter at 37. I felt like I'd done the most scary but best thing ever. There are lots of people that can help you and birth can be controlled by pain relief if you request it, it doesn't last forever.

  5. #15

    Re: I need help and advice - Tokiphobia?

    Thank you everyone for your answers. To be honest, I am still terrified, and I feel so sad. I'm not trying for baby yet because I went back to school, and I'll be done by next summer. But my husband wants to try then, because he is ready. I'm so scared.

    I think I feel I can't be a good mother because I'm always exhausted and I don't even have a kid yet. But my husband tells me we'll cope like everyone else.

    I know I lack self-confidence, but this is bad. I went to a therapist and she told me : "Did you ever consider not having children?" and it hurt me so much....

    Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    262

    Re: I need help and advice - Tokiphobia?

    Hi

    I hope you have made a decision to ttc, and have your baby it truly is the best thing ever. It is scary as you don't know what will happen but women have been having babies for centuries. The best advice I will give is it is all a natural process so go with nature, learn deep breathing to help you relax and your baby has to fit into your lives no one elses so do what works for you not everyone else.

    Good luck with it

    Clare

  7. #17

    Re: I need help and advice - Tokiphobia?

    Hey,

    I have made the decision to have a baby, but my husband and I decided to wait until June or so, since that's when I'll finish school (yeah, I'm 30 and I went back to school!)

    I am still terrified, but I will have to go with it.

    The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm afraid of not being in control of my body for 9 months...and having to care for someone all my life.

    I feel like I'm not good enough to do it....stupid, I know. And I wonder how I will react when the baby starts to move...will I be scared and panicked? We'll see...

    I'm not cured at all. I need to do it anyway. But just thinking about holding a positive pregnancy test makes me heart race :(

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