Fear of spending money

[pulisa]

Does anyone have a fear of spending money (despite having sufficient funds)?

[sial72]

Yes!! That is sooo funny because I have never come across anyone who said or felt that.
I now don't have as many funds as I used to, lol... But, for years I did very well and had a fear of spending it, in case of what might happen...

[Superworrier]

Yep me Hun x I count every penny and hate it I'd I can't account for evry spend .

[pulisa]

Thank you so much for replying. It's actually my daughter who has this problem. She is tormented by it and things are getting a lot harder. Have you both found any ways to cope with this problem? I've always thought that this has been related to her OCD as it's a type of hoarding disorder but do you have any other views on this? Many thanks in advance.

[Sunflower2]

I think it's an OCD thing where you don't want to spend money incase of the 'what if' you need it for something more important. She could also become attached to the sum of money and feel like she has lost something if it's spent?

I tend to do a lot of saving and spend very little even though I could use more money. I have very strict spending limits on things and feel out of control if I spend any more.

I'm not really sure of ways on how to cope with it, I guess I've never really thought that much about it as it tends to be a good thing for me! I always have more left over than my friends at the end of the month!! Perhaps you could split up the money into different allocations and have one that you can spend on things, one that you can use for saving up, on for a safety net etc? Can I ask what about it torments her?

[sial72]

In my case it has just felt like a safety issue. Spending made me feel vulnerable and "unsafe".
Now, because of something that happened to me where I thought I might die my attitude has changed because I think...what is the point of spending and enjoying money? We might not be here tonorrow!
I don't really know what to advise maybe as Kimberley2 in the post above suggests having allocations...seems like a good idea to me xx

[dally]

Yes, me too!
There was a period where my husband was unemployed for a couple of years and money was tight. So I was VERY careful never to spend more than our budget. I have always worried about what iffs. And a being money at that time became a major focus.
It has never left me, and if ispend money now, especially on clothes or non essentials, it can put me in a very low mood of whatiffs, sometimes to the extent that I take things back to the shops for a refund!
...and instantly feel better...then instantly feel stupid!! Cos logically I know I want and can afford it!

[ricardo]

Does anyone have a fear of spending money (despite having sufficient funds)?

That is a really interesting question which goes through my mind, daily.

This may sound absurd but I never carry any money and if I need a few pounds my wife gives it to me.I have completely lost track as to what things cost as I never physically go out, though 2 days we all went for lunch (as I explained on another thread) and I was interested in how much the bill came to.

I built up my own business with no help from anyone and my sole aim is to provide sufficent funds for my family, I no longer have an interest in material things for myself, and that is due to my condition, yet I worry a lot about funds, though I have assets.
To the layman it doesn't make sense but it is becoming an obsession.

[pulisa]

My daughter is on the higher end of the autistic spectrum and has severe anxiety/ocd so feels insecure as she can't control what will happen in her life. She needs to know what will happen next and can't cope with living with doubt.

She does some voluntary work with minimal payment but is not in a position to take on or cope with a full-time job. We have always stressed that no-one would expect her to do this with her levels of anxiety/distress.

She has a fear of things "running out"- money, her youth (she's 24),time (will she have enough time to do everything she wants)etc. She is financially secure and ironically things have got worse since she became more financially secure thanks to a legacy. She can't bear the responsibility of money so a trust fund is in place for her but nothing is enough to allay her fears of becoming destitute. She knows realistically that she is "safe" but the fears remain and continue to taunt her..

Thank you for your replies. I started this thread with her blessing but she fears that people will judge her- she has minimal self-confidence. I know she is so keen to talk about this issue but could never do so in real life.

Kimberley, we do allocate her money but this can also cause distress with the decisions involved (decisions/choices are very difficult for her) but thank you for the suggestion.

[Sunflower2]

It must be difficult for her because she isn't in control of her finances as it's not her money coming in. And an OCD is known for its doubting, reassurance will never be enough. If she feels strongly about talking about the issue, I'd be happy to send you/her private messages? I certainly wouldn't judge her, I have enough on my plate with not judging myself!

Just an idea though, as we are a similar age and although I'm not autistic, I can relate to the anxiety and OCD issues.