Hi, It's robi, i wrote here sometimes...i dont know if u remember me...i dont know what my problem is , ive never been to a doc...im 25 now. My problem started at the age of 13 with depression, me wanting to leave school, big arguments with my parents after a " perfect childood" as they always remind me i had, me self harming, wanting to die, them taking the key off the bathroom door for fear of me doing " something stupid", started to smoke fags at 13, cannabis at 14, lsd at 16, xtc at 17, cocaine at 18 . Always made feel guilty by my parents ( but they dont know about the hard drugs) about what a bad girl i was, with no respect for them who have always been perfect parents. Gone through all this without any professional help, now i keep on feeling lost , i wanna starve myself andi sometimes do but i sometimes binge as well and feel so bad. Id like to see a doc just for one consultation, just to know if im " normal" and i can solve everything alone as my family always thought i could, or if i really need help. Just to know what my problem is .I moved from italy 2 years ago, now im in south wales. I dont have a gp and i dont know how to get one. Most of all i dont have that much money...i cant afford no provate doc...i could spend not more then 30 pounds a month for therapy and i have no idea how much it costs or where to go to ask for it or anything. Pls, can anyone tell me how it works?
My life is a daily struggle....i dont wanna go to work and see no one, but i have to couse i need money to survive, i keep so much to myself, im always scared people talk behind my back or wanna hurt my feelings....i wanna die but i cant couse my parents and boyfriend's lives would be destroyed by it...i dont cry much no more..i just dont have tears no more. And ive gone over any trust in human beings....if u ask me what i think of the world id tell u i want human beings to disappear from the face of the earth forever. Sometimes im so very ashamed of being part of this curropted evil thing that is humans.
Ok this just to ask if u can pls tell me where to go and the costs for some professional help....and what do u think i could be suffering from ...if i am. thanks ever so much....love u all