skin cancer worries and fed up of bloody health anxiety!!!

[snowflake293]

Hi

I posted a few days ago but no one replied :( I am feeling really low and worn down with my anxiety.

Years ago I had this little bump/scab on my head that I picked and picked and picked. I had 2 different doctors look at it over the years (had it first checked about 5 years ago then again about 3 years ago and had it 15 years) used to pick at it so hard it would bleed and scab up and I would pull the hair out. the hair grows back now either white or really dark and wiry (rest of my hair is brown) I have been pulling it out loads and loads and now have a patch the size of a pound coin.

I am paranoid about having skin cancer. there is no bump there like there used to but instead a rough pinky/pale patch. I think it looks like squamous cell carcinoma (a kind of skin cancer) and I keep pulling hair out, sometimes without even realising. It is wearing me down and worrying my fiancé cause we are sat relaxing of an evening and he notices I keep pulling it out.

I am going to see the Dr on Thursday about it cause I am worried it might be cancer but also because I know a lot of it is down to my anxiety. The hair pulling this is upsetting me. I don't feel in control of it.

Really just need to hear of someone who gets this. I feel really low today. The past week I have diagnosed myself with skin cancer, stomach cancer, rectal cancer, bowel cancer and cancer of the oesophagus. I feel totally fed up of all this shit now.

[tmckenzie-orr]

Don't touch it if u have had it 15 years you would know about it it would of progressively grown , it doesn't sound like skin cancer , you need to address your anxiety because you have just diagnosed yourself with far more stuff than is physically normal I diagnosed myself with skin cancer tonsil cancer mouth cancer and u beat that and I certainly need help with my anxiety hence starting cbt I suggest u try get the same sorted through your doctor and same time can show him your scab on your head all the best if u need a chat just message myself I'll always try reply to anyone we are all in the same boat and I want us to swim not sink

[snowflake293]

Don't touch it if u have had it 15 years you would know about it it would of progressively grown , it doesn't sound like skin cancer , you need to address your anxiety because you have just diagnosed yourself with far more stuff than is physically normal I diagnosed myself with skin cancer tonsil cancer mouth cancer and u beat that and I certainly need help with my anxiety hence starting cbt I suggest u try get the same sorted through your doctor and same time can show him your scab on your head all the best if u need a chat just message myself I'll always try reply to anyone we are all in the same boat and I want us to swim not sink

Thank you for replying. I think deep down I know it's very unlikely to be cancer on my head. I am spending hours looking at it, even to the point of stopping in shops to look in mirrors in front of everyone at my head.

I have been having help for my health anxiety for a few years. I am on 100mg of Sertraline and had 12 sessions of CBT. on a waiting list for 'high intensity' CBT.

I am getting married next year and I just feel like what is the point in arranging it all cause I can't help but think I will be dead or ill. how awful is that? I feel guilty for thinking of myself so much and worrying about being ill all the time. I waste HOURS every single DAY either Googling or checking my body.

I can't get the thoughts out my head, they are there all the time. I am consumed by it. I even try and check my fiancés body and my fear spills over to him, looking at his moles and checking his for anything wrong.

I am so worried out this thing on my head though. I keep thinking, what if it IS cancer and what is I am unlucky and it has spread all over my body.

I feel like cancer is everywhere. I feel like every day its either on the news or someone I know has got it just out of the blue! keep thinking I will be next :(

I have been picking at my arms too and a spot on my leg that has got nasty. I know what I am doing is wrong but I start doing it without even thinking, even though it goes against all my health worries cause I am harming myself.

I think I just want to go on more Sertraline. Its not ideal but I am so pissed off with my HA wrecking everything. supposed to be having fun and enjoying my life but instead I am wasting it worrying.

thanks for listening to me

[tmckenzie-orr]

It's horrible when it's a obsession I am the same especially when I worry about things like moles or bumps n marks in mouth , I would check it every possible time to see if it has changed , u need to break the obsession say your not going to look at the moles or anything or touch and definitely
Don't pick nothing on your body as your asking for infections or things to change unnatural , you cannot think like what if it's cancer and it spread and it's terminal or it will make u obsess more I know I certainly do you don't need tablets to help you you need to help yourself, no 1 else can make you better but you, its all you have now is a obsession and cancer is everywhere on TV friends family neighbours everybody so because we know it's bad it fixed in our mind and we worry more especially people who are easily stressed , you know yourself your being silly if it's a scab sort of cancer anyway it rarely moves from the site just gets bigger and causes scaring it's even rarer than getting cancer in the first place so try to think of the positives of it , it's not cancer you would have noticed a massive size increase over 15 years u need to keep your mind busy and set yourself targets for checking and no touching make rules you can do it or I can help make them for you but you need to stick to them it's down to you to get better nobody else positives thoughts x

[snowflake293]

It's horrible when it's a obsession I am the same especially when I worry about things like moles or bumps n marks in mouth , I would check it every possible time to see if it has changed , u need to break the obsession say your not going to look at the moles or anything or touch and definitely
Don't pick nothing on your body as your asking for infections or things to change unnatural , you cannot think like what if it's cancer and it spread and it's terminal or it will make u obsess more I know I certainly do you don't need tablets to help you you need to help yourself, no 1 else can make you better but you, its all you have now is a obsession and cancer is everywhere on TV friends family neighbours everybody so because we know it's bad it fixed in our mind and we worry more especially people who are easily stressed , you know yourself your being silly if it's a scab sort of cancer anyway it rarely moves from the site just gets bigger and causes scaring it's even rarer than getting cancer in the first place so try to think of the positives of it , it's not cancer you would have noticed a massive size increase over 15 years u need to keep your mind busy and set yourself targets for checking and no touching make rules you can do it or I can help make them for you but you need to stick to them it's down to you to get better nobody else positives thoughts x

Thank you that really helps. I am just soooooo fed up of it all. Was out for dinner with two old school friends tonight and I was telling them about my HA and they were really understanding but also I kinda think they were thinking WTF lol. It is such a strange thing isn't it?

[tmckenzie-orr]

People can understand but nobody can truly understand without thinking your a weirdo without going through it them self , I find so much with anxiety the more you look at the symptoms like myself looking through my mouth for odd things bumps holes marks etc or looking at my moles sends me into panic I got a split second read your post title saying skin cancer and I automatically looked at a reddish looking mole on my leg and then thought don't be stupid because it's really that easy to say omg omg omg or grow up I'll see if it changes or gets worse , rather than jumping the gun it's hard and not everyone you can achieve it but it will help you

[snowflake293]

People can understand but nobody can truly understand without thinking your a weirdo without going through it them self , I find so much with anxiety the more you look at the symptoms like myself looking through my mouth for odd things bumps holes marks etc or looking at my moles sends me into panic I got a split second read your post title saying skin cancer and I automatically looked at a reddish looking mole on my leg and then thought don't be stupid because it's really that easy to say omg omg omg or grow up I'll see if it changes or gets worse , rather than jumping the gun it's hard and not everyone you can achieve it but it will help you

Oh no I am sorry if I triggered you! That is always a problem when reading posts, sometimes you think oh no what if... and start checking

I am off to the drs this morning and I am gonna tell her how I am feeling and see what she can suggest.

[snowflake293]

What was I worrying over? saw the Dr and its just flaky from hair pulling and picking!! really need to sort my HA out though... cant keep stressing like this. I am just worried now about the next 'freak out' that could come along. Just looked back on all my previous posts and it depressed me... why am I doing this???

[ricardo]

Glad you found the cause but now you have to address this hair pulling out which is not uncommon, called Trichotillomania.

Here is a good NHS link to help you overcome this. Therapy is advised.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/trichot...roduction.aspx