Everything contaminated

[phil06]

So should I be trying to use this Hoover and not worry and if I use it and get anxious that won't be good?

[Fishmanpa]

Think about it... you come into contact with more "things" just going to the grocery store or shopping for new items to replace the one's you discarded.

Ultimately, getting a grip on your OCD would be the best investment.

Positive thoughts

[phil06]

I managed to hold off selling the Hoover tonight. I'm now worried about a fan I got as my girlfriend stood near a bag in the toilet which is had to be unblocked from the toilet.

I worry my house will never be the same if I use the Hoover but at the same time it would cost be more for a new Hoover and it is sealed so maybe it is clean? The thought of toilet germs makes me want to throw away ..can I resist?

[Fishmanpa]

Perhaps this is something to try. If you dropped a $50 note in the toilet, would you throw it away? Maybe think of the items like the Hoover and the bucket and such like actual real money. If that doesn't work, I'll give you my address and you can send it to me

Positive thoughts

PS... your house will be different every time you use the Hoover... cleaner!

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think FMP has a good point there with the donation. Just take it to the shops though, don't let the vulture companies pick them up (on commission) or the thieves that steal stuff out of the donation bins. (can't stand them!) Ideally you don't want to give into the obsession as it will only makes things worse but until you can control it, someone might as welll benefit.

Well done for holding onto the hoover, that shows you can confront the fear. Yes, you can resist it, you've just proved it. You need to have faith in yourself and keep going.

I've read a paper on the pitfalls of ERP that was useful and seen a TV programme (briefly) where contamination is raised in them. The paper explained how you take the patient through the hierarchy (or ladder) from the least to worst fear. Then you take them one step on the ladder further beyond their fear to do something a normal non anxious person wouldn't do. For contamination it mentioned how this might mean putting your hands on the inside of the toilet. I've seen that on a programme too. It must sound horrible but it's only when someone has worked through a list of progressively difficult exposures to ensure they can achieve it so you are much more in control & stronger at this point. A bit like that floating %50 note really.

Do you think you could use that hoover on a small patch of carpet somewhere in your house? Even if it is somewhere you rarely go or use? How does it make you feel? Can you expand on that patch a little bit at a time until you have done the room? How do you feel now? How do you feel being in there through out this?

That might be a way to try to work through it but it's just a quick thought, you need proper guidance.

[phil06]

I have been thinking about it most of the day that now but today I opened the Hoover box and inspected it in all its plastic packets but it made no difference to how I felt. In fact I started worrying about the fan now and i also realised if I sold the Hoover I would have to replace everything in the wardrope as I would be giving in to believing a dirty plastic coat hanger was there. I know it was a thinner hanger and my mum said that and she said it was binned however I googled OCD help and faults thoughts can be common.

As I said in my other posts I worry my house is unclean so moving to a new one I want to be extra clean. However even if it was a dirty hanger the box was sealed yet for some reason I fear the Hoover being dirty I don't get why the OCD can be so powerful? When I wake up I think "Hoover"..last week I wanted to dispose of my iPhone and iPod as I feared my backside wasn't clean enough when I was using it so I worried touching my clothes spread germs and contaminated my iPhone. Luckily I have kept it but I was going to dispose or sell of my iPod. Cheaper items are easier to dispose of however I think now buying a new mop bucket was not required but I got it as when I came out the shower I worried dirt got in it and it would spread into my new house.

Anything stored at my girlfriends house is "safe" other than she has cats so I worry they may urinate on it.

You are right I need a solution because I'm sure even if my new house is clean there may be a situation comes up where something wasn't clean enough and I would dispose of things. A solution is maybe for everything to be exposed or contaminated in my mind as end up feeling exhausted and the thoughts ease. When it's a dear item I'm like well I can't afford to replace. I'm glad I'm not a millionaire as genuinely I would buy and replace and prob throw right into a bin.

When I google OCD help it all fits in with how I feel. Is my mind telling lies about the coat hanger or things not being clean?

As I say my house will feel clean for so long I keep thinking Hoover but I don't know why mind cares so much about that item anyway it was only £30 pounds.

---------- Post added at 16:07 ---------- Previous post was at 14:25 ----------

Update:

I ordered an upright Hoover the cylinder one is the one I worry is dirty but I was maybe going to get both types anyway what I will do is try and use the cylinder one in small areas in hope I can see it's ok I know it's not ideal but maybe it's better than giving in and throwing away?

[phil06]

The Hoover I've bought is worse than the one I'm worried about so I have been considering buying a 3rd Hoover (same as the one i' I'm worried about) and selling the other but my bank will be almost zero. I don't know why I'm so worried about this Hoover I'm obsessed about it

[MyNameIsTerry]

This is the thing, Phil; no house anywhere is ever clean. We clean to reduce things and remove bacteria but we don't get everything in our house as it's impossible. You would to live in a sealed box and keep cleaning it because your own body would contaminate it.

You could tell yourself that hanger touched you and you touched X & Y and they were touching this or that or maybe the germs moved off them onto Z. It's never ending.

Some people become even more severe and start the bleach routines. If you ever get to a stage like that, you really need to tell your GP.

This is the crux of the issues, you can't solve it because it's irrational. You can only try to mitigate all those risks that you think about or in some cases don't because you don't even understand why you are needing to do something. I didn't know why I was using a compulsion to mitigate a risk in some of mine and sometimes I didn't even understand what the outcome would be either if I didn't.

This is where exposure comes into play. You need to be in a situation and stay in it without avoidance or using a safety behaviour. Usually they say wait until your anxiety reduces by 50% to make the exercise a success. You repeat this again & again and you do something everyday, if possible. Then you step it up a notch to the next item on the hierarchy and repeat. You keep going until you clear the hierarchy. If you get stuck because a step is too hard, you go back a step an insert a "stepping stone" to get to closer to that next level.

So, if you were an agoraphobic you may start out by standing by the back door, moe onto standing in the back door, then setting foor out, then a bit more & more, then the front door, then further from home, etc.

You hit the nail on the head with the millionaire comment. You would do that. It will never be enough because your subconscious will just plague you with a new problem. Each time you buy a new hoover, it reassures you. All reassurance is brief in these disorders and reinforces them.

What is really good to see though is that you are opening up about this and talking about tackling it. I've read your threads for a while and I think FMP has too and I hope he agrees with me when I say this is the first one where you have gone this far with trying to understand it and wanting to move forwards. In the past I have felt you have been too consumed with the problem itself and not with moving forwards and whilst you have this issue still, and with a specific object in the hoover right now, you are researching help and showing you want to get out of this. Thats a step forward for me.

OCD does create false memories. Some people believe they have run people over and worry they will be arrested.

OCD is powerful, just like any anxiety disorder. I used to have to check every lamp post on my walks, every front door number was read, every licence plate, etc. I would go back hundreds of meters to check one if I thought I had missed it and then have to do all the others again too. But I don't do any of that anymore. I won't lie to you, I do still get the thought but my mind then lets it pass through. I did that by spending time looking at the lamp post numbers because I wanted to and I told myself "I am standing here looking at this becauase I have decided to, not because my anxiety wants to make do it". I would use the Mindfulness and look at more than the numbers and examine the sounds, temperature, the wind, how I felt about this, etc. If I get that split second urge now, I recognise it as an observer and I let it go.

Imagine how much better your life would be if you could do the same with the thoughts about germs or this hoover? I'm not recovered, I'm on my recovery journey but I'm a million miles away from where I was a few years ago.

[shakey1961]

Been reading your thread.

I came across this and I was wondering if it would help you.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/articl...-of-everything

[phil06]

Been reading your thread.

I came across this and I was wondering if it would help you.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/articl...-of-everything

Thanks yes maybe.

Last night I tried to forget about it but I was so close to ordering another Hoover again. However as I said I'd give in and think everything else was contaminated so I wouldn't use it if I believed my OCD. The box was sealed what germs could have got in? I know the coat hanger probably wasn't even the same but my head tells me if I use this Hoover my house will stink, it will be dirty, I'd have to change the carpets ect all these horrible thoughts. I guess letting it sit in the box naturalises my fear at the moment as I can use the other hover.

It seems so real though I don't know why my mind keeps going over the Hoover. There was a shirt in the cupboard I'me maybe 2/10 anxious on yet it's this Hoover. Even a brush for outside was that there but that's not causing anxiety. I think the fact I keep thinking "omg it's dirty" makes me want to sell maybe rather than the actual situation that I dismissed as the box was sealed and it prob wasnt that hanger?

It's this powerful thought about it being dirty which makes me want to sell to ease the anxiety but in this case it won't as it will be wasting money and making me worry the rest is contaminated..if only I could believe the Hoover is clean? Will it ease?