Some of these made me chuckle earlier today... The top 10 'one-liners' from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival... Hope they give you a laugh or two!

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1. "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free" - Darren Walsh
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2. "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis
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3. "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess
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4. "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" - Masai Graham
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5. "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go" - Dave Green
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6. "Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas" - Mark Nelson
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7. "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day" - Tom Parry
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8. "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves" - Alun Cochrane
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9. "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle" - Simon Munnery
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10. "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..." - Grace The Child
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