Hi im 24 years old and have suffered from emetophobia on and off since i was about 8 years old. I have had sessions of counselling and have tried medication before and none of these have helped. unfortunately this is all my GP will offer me. I am looking to see a therapist or have a treatment that will really help me overcome this finally or at least reduce the control it has over my life.

My phobia has recently developed into what i would consider an eating disorder. I am so fearful of getting food poisoning or picking up a virus that there is virtually nothing i will eat. i sometimes go unto 10 hours with no food because i can't choose what to have or i don't consider the environment I'm in clean enough to comfortably eat in. for example today at work i bought a peanut butter sandwich with me to eat, i just needed somewhere to sit and eat it (i can't eat while walking around or outside because there might be people close to me) but the staff room was full of people and they had hot food that smelt and it made me feel nauseous so i had to leave. but by then it was too late, i felt sick and started to panic and then simply couldn't eat. i waited till i got home and had a proper meal then but by this time i felt dizzy and achey from lack of food after 10 hours.

I find myself always checking the seals on products and i avoid anything with potential to harm so i don't eat meat, rice, fish, bean sprouts, a lot of cheesy things. its exhausting. I just want to know how i explain this to my GP?! Im not an anorexic and have no body image issues, in fact i hate how thin i am now because its just a reminder that i only look this way because I'm so fearful. I'm only 5'2 and weigh below 7 stone now.
I am sick of just being put on waiting lists and waiting 3 months to even talk to someone about it, because usually by the time an appointment comes around i have calmed down a bit and have some control. its when I'm fully out of control like now that i desperately need help. Im scared that soon i won't be able to leave the house or go to work or eat at all. This is no quality of life. Im such a happy person normally but this has turned me into a recluse.

Im willing to pay for treatment at this point, I would love to have a therapist who could help me through this. can anyone recommend treatment for this in the UK London and Greater London preferably.

And also if anyone has any idea of how i can explain this to my job. I work in Boots as a makeup and beauty advisor. my manager knows my phobia and he knows what to do if he sees me panic. sometimes however i feel like i shouldn't be at work in the state I'm in. Like if i haven't eaten for a while and am weak or if I'm having a really bad day or week. Is it reasonable to call in sick for mental illness or will i end up getting fired? Today i should have gone home but i persevered until i felt faint.

I would really appreciate some advice and some reassurance
Desperate to get better,
Mr Pom (rosie)