Existential OCD. help?:(

[Pjenkins11]

hi, about a week ago i read an article on "existential depression" and i wish i wouldn't have. it said that people with this type of depression have it for life because they see life as meaningless and have the courage to overthink their mortality and stuff. this scared the crap out of me because i was already depressed and i was constantly ruminating on whether i would get better or not. and now that i read that article i have started ruminating about it all day non stop. the intrusive "what's the point in doing that? you're gonna die anyway" "life is meaningless, what you do doesn't matter" and "you see life for what it really is, you're never going to get better" thoughts plague me every day. i can't find peace in anything because these thoughts constantly haunt me. has anyone dealt with this? how do i get rid of these thoughts?:( i remember i used to have these thoughts but i lookedat them in a different way. like if i thought deep about life and stuff it would fascinate me not scare me. but ever since i read that article (there's a few of them) i've been so scared of getting "existential depression" that it feels like i have it now :"(

the other thing that scares me is that every day i have been becoming more numb to the thoughts in a bad way. like my mind is tired of ruminating and worrying and i'm like "no i don't want to not worry about this" i just want my life back:"( i'm tired of these thoughts i wish i wouldn't have ever read that stupid article :"( anyone that has gone through this please help

[CeeCeeCee]

I am not qualified to advise you here. I can only say that your take on how you feel is not really valid. You have read something and it has taken over your thoughts. You being alive and in the world does matter, if you or I were not here, many, many things would be different and often for the worst. If you haven't already, check out the movie It's A Wonderful Life. It tells a simple story of fate and how we all matter in the grand scheme. We can often think too deeply and probably should just accept and soak in whatever happens in life. Hope this makes some sense to you :-)

[Pjenkins11]

hi CeeCeeCee. thank you for the reply. life has just been really distressing as these thoughts have been taking over my head every day :( i will give that movie a try though!

[CeeCeeCee]

Yes, watch it please, it's magical! hope you find calmness and peace :-)

[Tando]

I've had these thoughts and I have a close friend that has these thoughts.

Here's how I got over it:

I read a book by Sam Harris where he outlined that one of his friends had these thoughts, and he made note that these thoughts come from a background of depression. Period. When you're depressed, it's very easy to trivialize life.

After breaking up with my girlfriend, I started saying things like "Yes, I can go back to school.. but what's the point? I'm just going to become a doctor or something and then die. It's stupid."

However once you have a purpose in life, you'll realize that all of your 60-80 years of living can be fulfilled with interesting spiritual insights, feelings of happiness and fun. Wouldn't you love to experience life on this earth very happy and enjoying yourself? You only have one life. It's your choice bud, do you want to live life without purpose and essentially feeling tortured, or do you want to create purpose in your life and offer value to other human beings.

Life's going to work out just fine for you, these thoughts are due to depression. Don't be scared of depression either. Going through depression/anxiety is what allows you to go further in life, because it forces you to dig deep down and rewire your brain, it's actually incredible.

Think of all the greats who have had anxiety and depression. People who have average happiness and average calmness will stay there. People who start off with bad anxiety and bad depression don't seek average calmness or average happiness, they seek to earn the highest degree of happiness and the highest degree of calmness. At least this is my experience.

Don't ignore these thoughts, every time they come up you have to recognize them as a thought that stems from depression.

Dig deep into your past life and write down what you would like closure on, also in the present look for anything that's subconsciously suppressing you from moving forward and fix them. Then outline a life plan, and create a daily routine that gets you closer and closer to your goals every day.

Send me a message however frequently you want, with whatever. I'm always here to help.

You're going to be just fine, embrace your symptoms as uncomfortable and shortlasting. It'll all be over with soon.

[TomT]

hey there Pjenkins, people that suffer that do not suffer from an existencial crisis because they read an article on that topic, those thoughts came to them and its difficult to shake them off. You on the other hand came across that and start worrying about the WHAT IF you started thinking that way. I been through this and let me tell you something, anxiety feeds from attention first try to figure out why you fear that and then just everytime you came across one of those thoughts try to think about something else, I know its hard and it will take some days to get a hold of it.
But you can do it anxiety is just a survival response, those thoughts are interpreted as danger so thats why you get all worked out, once you realise thoughts have no power over you they will banish away.

Many Blessings