I went to the hospital today for an assessment.
After 2 hours of explaining my childhood and current circumstances the assessor came to the conclusion that what I probably need is long term psychodyamic therapy.
When he said long term to me he was meaning between 12-18 months of therapy and there's just no way I'm willing to tolerate this for such a long period, especially as I'm very sceptical about therapies after my experiences with CBT. He also said I'd likely have to do it privately or through a charity as the NHS provide very little provision for psychodynamic therapy - there's little chance I can afford to do it privately anyway which probably makes the decision for me.
I also don't have the mental energy, belief or desire to implement such a long term programme of therapy especially as there's no guarantee it'll help me. I know there's no quick fix to 30 years of torment, however the devil in me says there's no fix at all (as it's too embedded in me) and there's a much easier way to solve the issue permanently which is what I should focus on.
I will have a chat with my compassionate therapist in my final meeting with her next month to see what she thinks. I've had a look on here but can't see much about peoples experiences/views on psychodynamic, so not sure what to do.
Thanks for reading