Is this HOCD? How do I know?

[TomT]

Hey that girl of the video probably felt attracted to girls since always but also to boys, but eventually her tendencies towards females grew bigger.

You on the other hand are not attracted at all to women, you just worry about the idea of being attracted to females, and you are clearly describing the symptoms of anyone suffering from OCD, " Like my stomach and heart are going to explode. An hour ago I felt ok and now I'm a mess. I've always considered girls as friends not lovers. I can't. " Also everytime one of those thoughts comes to your mind you try to disprove them, that gives attention to the ocd and makes it worst, repeat to yourself this mantra "This is just my OCD talking not me, this are just thoughts and thoughts have no power over me" or practice deep breathing techniques, don't engage the thought cause that will make it worst.

That girl you talked about has seen women not as friends but as lovers.

[OCDCara]

Thank you again. That made me feel more relaxed but I know it will come back so I have to be prepared. Because I know someone can't suddenly turn gay, never feeling it. But I've asked some psychologist about sexual orientation and she said that it can change and we can never be sure of it. nd it was like hell to me reading this.

[TomT]

I am glad I could help, yes of course it can change but is really strange that it happens at your age, usually people that go through that is after a really stressful situation not the mere anxiety experience, and at some point they were feeling attracted to the other person, you dont.

I guess cara you should try to gain some insight about yourself, know yourself a little better. And don't judge or be so hard on what you think. People that do not suffer from anxiety have the same thoughts as we anxious have the difference is that they don't question them so much or pay so much attention to them. Believe you are OK you are not going gay (Cause there is not such thing) and in the worst case scenario you would be OK too.

Breath in, breath out and smile.


Many blessings!

[OCDCara]

I have few more questions guys, thank you for being helpful I really appreciate it.

I take meds from my therapist and I felt better in the night. I felt like old me again. I felt 100% straight and could even think about some guy. And today (despite some anxiety) I felt okay too, could watch tv again but then I looked at instagram and saw some pretty girl and I felt ok, but then I felt so anxious and again my hocd turned on. And some man said that hocd is a lie and it's just being in denial, cause something must trigger homosexuality. Do you believe that?

[TomT]

Hey cara I am so glad you had some good days.

I will start to give you an advice don't try to be the "old" you, that will provoke some distress, anxiety is a great oportunity to become a more relaxed and and smarter you, actually everyday you improve a little bit more.

Then to the topic, when you are on instagram and see a girl im sure you stop for a few seconds and analize the picture am I right?. You are doing everyone with anxiety does, is checking if you are ok trying to validate your thoughts. Relax is totally normal and try to identify when you do that, so everytime you realise it, the thought looses power.

Of course I don't believe that, that man must know little to nothing about anxiety, remember people have said many stupid things about homosexuality and what "triggers" it. Nothing triggers homosexuality is not a disease or a condition, is just you like your own sex more than the other.

THIS IS A GREAT PIECE OF ADVICE:

Don't by any mean google about your specific condition, why? Simple there are 90000 pages that say HOCD and homosexuality are not related but you are going to pick the only one that says it does which has not trustworthy source, and its the opinion of some guy in some place that probably is a moron.

Many Blessings and Im super glad you are doing great!

[MyNameIsTerry]

I agree with Tom especially about the 90k pages vs 1 because that trait is well known within Cognitive Distortions and something I see on here all the time on the HA board more than anywhere and they suffer similiar obsessive thoughts to Pure O sufferers like yourself. Look up those Cognitive Distortions because learning them will help you to spot when you thinking is going wrong and would help you with a situation like this idiot talking about HOCD & homosexuality.

HOCD is a medically accepted form of OCD. That means experts in these fields have accepted it. There are many people who argue against it but if you go looking for this you will find many people who will argue homosexuality is evil or against nature, blah blah who cares! These people are to be ignored as they are right wingers who do not understand the topic.

Think of it this way, if HOCD is a lie and you are in denial then that means all people with POCD are really paedophiles. Now, you will find people that will argue that because they are ignorant right wing idiots - not medical professionals. I had harm based intrusive thoughts so that means I must be a psychotic murderer or sadist waiting to get out. Yet, I'm here talking to you rationally, helping others and caring about people whether I know them or not. Do I sound like I psychotic murderer to you? (hopefully not! )

Think of this one. There are forms of Pure O that revolve around the person fearing they have HIV/AIDS or are becoming schizophrenic. These can be tested for and proved as OCD, not what the person fears they have.

All of this blows that ignorant guys arguments out of the water.

In an earlier post you mentioned how using Mindfulness makes you accept the content of the thoughts in that you are gay. This is a common problem. In using Mindfulness you accept the thoughts as thoughts, not the content of them. The content is irrelevant. It's not about agreeing with the thoughts. A therapist technique (not connected to Mindfulness) involves agreeing with the thoughts to overcome them but thats for the professionals as it may require additional strategies to manage emotions/feelings too.

When you come across a situation like that guy on the internet, use a Thought Record and also look at the Cognitive Distortions to then pick out those in the statement you put in the TR so you can challenge them with counter evidence.

A final note to POCD sufferers who may read this. The above is a example of how certain ignorant people may think because OCD of this form is not well known and the subject is particularily emotive. You are NOT evil or disgusting nor anything else, quite the opposite in fact otherwise it wouldn't bother you. Please remember that.

[OCDCara]

Thank you Tom and Terry, you've really helped me. You do not sound to me like a psychotic murderer Terry I feel better now. Sometimes I get anxious, sometimes I have doubts, but now it seems pretty clear to me that I have hocd and try to understand it. Thank you.

[TomT]

Any time cara! learning more about HOCD and about yourself will help you a lot to overcome this.

Many blessings and great week

[MyNameIsTerry]

Phew, thanks OCDCara!

So, if I'm not a psychotic murderer, then you must not be homosexual & in denial but we do both have OCD

OCD used to be called "the doubters disease". It's obvious why when you think about the Pure O forms. You will need to accept that doubt is part of the disorder and part of it's arsenal against you. Accept it and take it's power away. Everyone will question their sexuality at some point in their lives, and probably many times when they are growing up, so treat it like that and tell yourself it is ok to have these thoughts. The more you reduce you anxiety and stop fighting against these thoughts, the more they will just go.