In a state of high anxiety and panicking now

[Smiffy3594]

In most aspects of my life I am able to manage my anxiety and panic attacks but right now I my anxiety is high and I am panicking because of a work issue.

Since friday I have been covering for our Directors PA (and doing my normal role of being PA to two other people)

I missed a meeting decline from someone the other day (an internal person) that the director was to meet - I apologised to the director via email for his wasted time, I spoke to the directors business manager who was there to help me and she said dont worry about it (easier said than done right) so I tried to put that behind me and carry on.

But last night the director had an event in London for a show for 40 people - a guest showed up saying they had two tickets (for himself an external person and a lady person who works at our offices) to collect - the venue people contacted me as on the guest list I sent them for our area the gentleman was only allocated one ticket - I spoke to the directors business manager who was at the event and she confirmed he only was allocated one ticket.

I was thrown into panic - fired up my laptop looked through emails in the directors PA inbox could not see anything about this guy being allocated two tickets so I thought ok not my fault but was still very anxious.

then this morning I remembered getting an email in my inbox to me and another lady who has tickets in another area at the venue saying that there was a gentleman who was on both our lists for two tickets in both areas two in general population and two in the suite, the other lady told the venue to take him of her list.

I looked at my guest list and there were two men with the same first name one above the other (but different last names) so I went back to the events people but didnt copy the other lady in and said mine are two different gentleman - and then heard nothing more until last night

I am now in a state of panic that I messed up again and I'm going to get in trouble at work and am really beating myself up that is all my fault (maybe I should have been clearer to the events people and said he only had 1 ticket in our area)

I am fidgety cannot sit still / trying to calm down rapid breathing / lightheaded / chain smoking / trying not to burst into tears and very very anxious and cannot focus on anything !

I'm sorry if the above make no sense and seems like the rantings of a mad women.

But I thought maybe it would help if I typed out whats happened and posted it in case anyone else has had a similar scenario and can help me rationalise this in any way.

[bekw89]

I've not had that same scenario but I messed up a lot at work, cost them thousands of pounds when I first started. Would spend every weekend worrying about what mistakes I might have made and dreading Monday and do you know what, now I see how much it matters and the answer is it doesn't. Look at the state you have gotten into over a ticket... put yourself first your healths more important than trying to be perfect all the time, if you messed up people will mention it once and then move on. It looks like a completely innocent mistake and if you work in a sane work environment they will understand.

Please please please don't worry I have been there so much and it was all a waste of time worrying about nothing.

[Smiffy3594]

Thanks bekw89 - you are right - I let it get to me instead of working through it - and then I get angry at myself for letting it get to me !

keep getting a niggling thought that now that because I had this panic it may effect other parts of my panic and anxiety that I have been able to manage in social situation etc, but the rational part of my brain is making a stand there

Not looking forward to going into the office on Monday in case something does come back onto me on this - am luckily working from home till then !