I am freaking out

[TomT]

Ok so here it goes, I dreamt something and it actually freaking happened. I dreamt my stepdad made a deposit into my bank account with an specific number and today some minutes ago he called me and told me he made a deposit into my bank account with that exact amount of money, I am not ****ing kidding here. And I don't know it just triggers my OCD regarding existentialism and things like that

[Zeldagirl]

This is just my opinion here and I'm not sure if it will be helpful but ocd or not I think some of us are just more intuitive that others. That doesn't mean it's something that will happen every time you dream something, or even ever again but I have had some weird things like that happen. I have dreamt of someone that I haven't seen in years and then seen them the next day or I will think of someone out of the blue and then see them shortly afterward. It freaks me out as well. I would just try to view it as an interesting coincedence and let it go. I know that is hard to do especially because that is pretty unusual. Don't stress it

[TomT]

Well small update, I am better now talking it out with a friend really calmed me. And thanks a lot zelda it was indeed helpful.
My problem seems to be that I desperately need some logic explanation to everything I live and if what I experience has no logic like this, I get all worked up.

I felt so alone with this kinda fear but I found out it happens to others, my pure O makes me fear the idea that eventually I would kinda think that my thoughts have some power over reality, which is something someone crazy would think and my biggest fear is losing control and becoming a paranoid crazy person

[MyNameIsTerry]

Ah, Tom but remember that someone with a delusional disorder, schizophrenia, etc would be consumed by it and believe it, whereas you question it. Someone in that type of category could think their thoughts could affect the physical world but would believe it, not question whether it's possible as you do.

This is the perfectionism talking here, needing an answer to everything, remember those Cognitive Distortions and the all-or-nothing thinking one? People with anxiety disorders, especially the ones based on obsession, are prone to this - we need to know with absolute certainly whether it is X or Y and it can't be anything other.

We have to remember that the universe is not explained. There are many things science has not yet determined so our reality isn't a matter of certainties in all things. This is when the whole acceptance thing comes back in again so that we can learn it is ok to live without absolutes and in many ways, thats part of the good experience of life otherwise wouldn't it be boring?

You have some Magical Thinking going on in here and the simple test for this is a Behavioural Experiment. Think intently about making something happen and watch how it just can't. In someone who doesn't understand their disorder, therapist use things like this. You understand yours well so you know you can't achieve something like that even before you try to, but it means you have to also uses those rational thoughts against these intusive issues too.

As Zeldagirl said, it could just be due to greater intuition. It could also have other explanations like a series of clues that your subconscious notices yet you didn't consciously which it then puts together and pushes to your conscious mind when the time is right e.g. when you saw the money transfer your subconscious recalled events that had dictated that would happen but were too subtle for you to notice. This is like what we discussed about seeing peoples faces a while back.

[TomT]

I totallu agree with you Terry and you described the situation exactly as it is. My curiosity and constant need to know whats going on all the time is what is messing with my anxiety. Lately this happens a lot for example thinking about something and seeing that or something realted to it and its gives you this weird vibe.

I guess I must learn to stop looking for logic explanations to every single thing.

As always thanks a lot from the bottom of my heart.