Hi everyone!
I have just joined this website after reading some of the brilliant articles and advice given!
I am 20 year old female and am currently at the end of my nurse training.
After a year into my training i witnessed some traumatic events such as death, which at the time did not seem to affect me. I was only 18 at the time and nobody had died in my family so in a sense this was quite big for me. Towards the end of my first year there were a run of traumatic events in my life such as coming back off holiday to find my dog lying dead behind my front door, i then later had a biggish car crash five days after passing my driving test, then within a month or so the dad of my mothers partner died.
It was an awful lot to take in and i struggled watching my family suffer. It was on the day of the funeral (driving back) that i had my first full blown panic attack and was convinced i was going to die. I felt extremely dizzy, i was becoming short of breath, my pulse was racing at about 120 bpm and i justs did not feel normal at all! I convinved my mum to take me to A&E to which after blood tests and an ECG they confirmed i had a panic attack! To which i could not believe and felt although relieved rather stupid! Especially as being a student nurse!
Things seemed to settle after that and it has been two years since all that happened, however until recently i feel like i have been suffereing worse than ever with anxiety. It started up again after having bouts of dizzyness due to what the doctors feel is an inner ear virus. I am just constantly on edge which can make my dizzyness worse.
It is one of the worst feelings ever to suffer from anxiety and a panic attack is by far one of the most frightening experiences i have ever encountered. I have had a fair few of them now and have scared my poor boyfriend who at the time just feels helpless. Fortunately now he is more aware and is a great support!
I can't help thinking that my nurse training has not helped however i love my job dearly. I am due to qualify in about 6 weeks and have got a job in intensive care! Which i am worried may only make matters worse! In a sense i really want to be there for my patients and their families during such traumatic times but i certainly do not want to make myself ill!
I have been referred to a clinical psychologist hopefully for some cognitive behavioural therapy, however i am waiting to hear as apparently they have quite long waiting lists :(
Still that is alittle about me and i already feel less anxious after reading some of your other stories on here! It helps you to reaslise you are not on your own and that you are not going mad!!
xx
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