Need helping cope: eye problems and workplace problems

[DYLCC15]

Hi, it's me again.

Today has already started out rough. After what seemed like a pretty good night sleep, I woke up already feeling terrible.

If you haven't heard my story, let me inform you. About six months ago, I had a MAJOR setback with my anxiety. I then went on to start CBT- which six months later, is not helping. I've now had a total of four diagnosed: GAD, panic disorder, TYPE O OCD, and health anxiety. After multiple panic attacks with different symptoms, I started to develop severe HA

Since about July of this year, I've diagnosed myself with over 30 illnesses including, heart disease, MS , ALS, blood infection, brain tumor, eye cancer, sepsis, stroke, heart attack, spinal tumor, etc

I've had 4 blood work ups, CT scans twice of my brain, 2 ekgs, numerous blood pressure tests, and 3 eye exams. All things have come back normal.

The thing that has really frustrated me badly right now is obviously my eyes. As I've mentioned before, I had two botched eye exams about a month ago that completely set me off and scared me greatly. Although they did say my eyes were healthy. Next I went to a third eye exam about a week ago and got new glasses that seemed to work.... For the first two minutes I wore them. Then I began overanalyzing my vision and it seems as though my vision has changed in a week. From the time I get up till I go to bed I focus on my vision.

COULD I BE MANIFESTING THIS BLURRY VISION?

I've listened to fishmanpa and life long anxiety, but I just can't shake the feeling that something is wrong.

Any advice?

Dyl

[elysemarie123]

Good Morning Dyl (or whatever time it is where you are),

I completely understand what you are going through with your eyes. I get optical migraines and obsess over what my eyes are doing. I've noticed every single floater and can probably tell when a new one forms. Sunspots scare me because they resemble what happens when I am getting a migraine (i get a blind spot in the center of my eye and then tunnel vision). I know migraines can't hurt me and that the aura is actually a blessing in disguise because if I take meds when I see the aura, I won't get the migraine. But I still OBSESS over it. Some days its much easier to shut off than others.

The more I focus on my eyes, the more I notice. I've realized the best way to stop is to truely distract myself. When I'm at work, I'll either go for a walk around the office or I'll try to dive into something that I know will make me think. When I'm at home I will play iPhone games or take my pup for a walk. You will notice that when you aren't thinking about it, nothing is wrong with your vision -- you are just simply seeing.

Hang in there! Trust your doctors! If you are living and breathing right now just be happy for that.

Take care -- Elyse

[DYLCC15]

Thank you! I really do feel as if I focus on them way too much. So you do think overanalyzing them will cause this? I really was debating on whether or not I should get a 4th appointment with the eye doctor. I know my
prescription is right. I'm just nervous that there is something wrong with my eyes. I know it's irrational to think so, but with my HA I always look at the 'what ifs.' Like, what if they missed something or didn't do a test that could have determined what was wrong with me. I also think about getting an MRI, because I heard it's better than a CT when it comes to tumors

I know I'm overreacting but I've tried so hard and it doesn't seem as if anything is helping. Do you think I just need more time......:(

[elysemarie123]

I absolutely think that overwatching can cause this. When I focus on my sight, it almost looks like everything is blurry. And then when you think that, it causes you to be anxious, causing you to focus on it even more.

My recommendation would be to trust your physicians. They know when there is something wrong. If you were even mildly sick you would know -- there would not be any doubt in your mind that it could just be anxiety.

And anyway -- what if they did miss something? What if there is something wrong? What would you do then? Your mind is preparing you for something that I am 99% sure won't happen and if it were going to happen, you'd have to deal with it anyway. Just because you worry about something right now, does not mean that it will stop something bad from happening (something you can't control anyway). Would an MRI ease your mind? Or would you not trust that as well?

Time really does heal but we all have set backs. I go through phases where I don't worry about anything and then something happens that sparks my HA. I got through it before, and will again. And you will too! Take a breath and trust your body.

[DYLCC15]

I really am hoping that I can get through this set back. You know what, I know I can get through it. Sometimes with my HA, it's very hard for me to accept that these symptoms are all anxiety related. I didn't think that 24/7 blurriness could be caused by that. I was wondering? Do you think I should make a fourth eye appointment? I mean, maybe there is a chance they didn't make the glasses right again. Probably unlikely, but it could always be a shot.

Also, I did notice that my vision prescription changed by 0.5 in each eye from september of 2014. Is that considered bad? I mean the first time they did it a month ago, it changed by 0.5 in one eye, and 0.25 in the other. The next time they did it, it went back down to changing by only 0.25 in each eye. And then a third time, it stayed at 0.5 in each eye. Is that abnormal? Or can you get different results from varying opticians/optometrists?

Sorry for being a little amped up, I am just tired of this. All I ever want to do is sleeo....

Thanks
Dyl