Inflammation, stomach then urine problems... Overwhelming feeling of impending death

[AnxiousDude89]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the forums and after reading many of the posts I've decided to participate too.

So here's a little information about myself, I'm a 26 year old male who was previously diagnosed with ocd (obsessive ruminations). After a couple of years of treatment, I managed to learn how to cope with my obsessions rationally.

However, recently I've had some kind of relapse which started when I was waiting for the results of an oral biopsy (found some white patches in my mouth). Turns out it was just inflammation (ENT thinks it's just lichen planus).

Just when I thought my fears were finally put to rest, I started feeling weird sensations in my stomach and back (feels like a combination of heaviness, tightness, fatigue and numbness). My urine also started to froth up quite significantly (like soapy froth). After seeing my GP, he gave me pills to try and treat diverticulitis and at the same time found blood and proteins in my urine (which he is trying to treat with alkalizers).

Because I had trace amounts of blood in my urine before and now they were finding protein too (which was previously negative). I started to freak out really badly and started researching my symptoms. Worst mistake ever. Now I've gone from kidney stones to cancer and even to amyloidosis.

Amyloidosis freaked me out the most because of its grim prognosis, and now I can't stop feeling like I won't be around for much longer..

Feeling completely helpless and depressed

[Wanderlust]

Hi AnxiousDude, a very apt name

I am really sorry to hear about your worries and fears, but you are in good company here and I know like myself many people have been dealing with health fears for a long time.
Whilst I cannot help reassure you about your particular worries, I think you hit the nail on the head 'worst mistake ever' with the self diagnosing, Its a terrible habit which 95% of the time (I admit to fabricating that figure) only makes things worse, I can tell you right now that my researching my current worries just a few days back has completely thrown me off of the proverbial cliff.. you think you would learn your lesson after a decade and a half but ... well, I guess its a hard lesson to learn.

If you have a good doc, you can tell them about your worries and hopefully they can talk you through it fully, sometimes that can give piece of mind.

I lose track of the numbers of times I have allowed myself to get to the point of feeling totally helpless and depressed, so I sympathise and if you want to talk more about it feel free to drop a reply or message.

[AnxiousDude89]

Hi Wonderlust,

Thank you for your words of kindness. I had reached an all time low and your reassurance really helped me out.

I've gone back to see the doctor and he is convinced that my stomach symptoms and frothy urine are unrelated. He thinks that the urine test just showed a progression of hypertension's effects on the kidney (I had stopped taking my medication). Long story short, he's sent some of my blood, urine and stool to the lab to get it checked (results in 3/4 days).

While trying to calm myself down, I started to think about why the uncertainty of not having a clear diagnosis was causing so much anxiety. I realize (that for me at least) getting bad news (like finding out I have a terminal illness) meant the end of any long term plans and goals I had set for myself. In fact, as morbid as it seems, thinking about what I would do with what little time I had left brought great relief.

I guess my biggest fear now is if I'm dreadfully ill (which I try to tell myself I'm not) that they reach a diagnosis before it's too late.

[Wanderlust]

The tests should clear things right up for sure

Completely with you there, often I will find myself, instead of getting scared, going the opposite way and just having a sensation of acceptance, quite morbidly perhaps, but It tends to be beneficial in two ways, first that it tends to have an immediate effect on lowering anxiety levels, and secondly that it tends to give me a firm and solid kick up the backside to get things done... admittedly for the wrong reasons because I believe I don't have a lot of time. Of course when things then pan out and things ARE fine, its great because I actually got around to achieving something

What is a pain is that you said you had plans, I know how hard that can be as a long term H/A sufferer, plans anywhere beyond a few weeks for me are generally next to impossible, and losing that must be quite frustrating.

Wish you all the best with your results and, lets be optimistic for a moment here, your impending recovery

[Holds1325]

Hi Anxiousdude89,

I feel the exact same as you do. I feel super nervous about my stomach issues. I'm going to the doctor later today to run some more tests possibly and to schedule an endoscopy. The doctor doesn't know whats going on with me, he thinks I might have an ulcer or something.

I always feel this impending doom every morning I wake up. What usually helps is thinking, okay I am fine right now so its pointless to be scared at this moment. Also, if I really am sick, whats the point of worrying? Worrying won't fix my sickness!

That is way easier said then done. Last night I was trying to practice this and it worked for awhile, until out of nowhere I had a massive panic attack that lasted around a half hour.

I think all we can do is have the doctor rule out our fears (mine is some type of digestive cancer) and then just believe the doctor and stop the anxiety there.

Its hard though, especially the waiting.

[white1989]

Hi Anxiousdude,

If you read my recent post on 'stomach cancer fear' I'm suffering with a really similar set of symptoms at the moment, I saw a gp yesterday who instantly completely ruled out any sort of stomach/bowl cancer due to my age (I'm 26 as well), felt my stomach to feel no lumps, and told me he thinks I am suffering with IBS. Of course, I did not believe this diagnosis at all and continued to (stupidly) investigate my symptoms via google which in turn has given a variety of terminal possibilities, so I totally understand what you're going through.

Like my doctor said to me, I would advise to try to take some reassurance in the fact that your age is massively on your side, the fact that you have a great doctor who seems to have done some in-depth testing and offered some great reassurance, is positive in itself. My doctor also told me that anxiety can produce a whole host of digestive symptoms!

Fingers crossed that we will all be ok, health anxiety is the absolute worst!

Best wishes