GAD and now health fears
Hi all,
I am having a right time with physical anxiety and I wondered if anyone can help. I had health anxiety 11 years ago but overcame it. In the last few years after a very stressful time in my life I had panic attacks which led to agoraphobia and social anxiety which still I struggle with at times. I also developed intrusive thoughts but I got through that with some CBT.
In recent months i have had a rough time with tests at the GP, he wanted to check me for thyroid issues which have come back borderline and I have low ferritin levels. Since then I felt a little setback coming, I had been doing well and felt back on track after the tough couple of years I had. My anxiety has become more physical since suffering from fatigue and low iron. My GP suddenly wanted to test me for diabetes 3 weeks ago and in the nurses room after a 45 minute wait once she took blood I had a huge panic attack. I couldn’t get off the bed I went all hot and afraid I would pass out. I worked myself up terribly. It was awful and since that day I have felt so fragile. I had tingles just in my right arm and just flushed down one side of my face in the nurses room and for 3 weeks I have feared I had a stroke for it to be one sided. My friends tell me of course it was a panic attack, but I have noticed since then my anxiety has been rife. I am jumping at every physical sensation, I have rushes of panic if I feel tingles in one arm or panic that my face is feeling numb. Urgh I am not used to this at all. I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice as I am not used to this kind of anxiety as mine usually manifests in intrusive thoughts and anxiety around them. Could anyone also reassure me that anxiety can cause tingles down one arm? The panic in the nurses room was awful, so strong. I have never had that. I have agoraphobia so find appointments tough but I take hubby with me and I cope, I feel anxious but get through it. In recent months though my anxiety got worse and I think my GP wanting to do tests triggered it all. I haven't felt back on track since.
Since the big panic attack at the nurses office I have been struggling socially again, I had bad agoraphobia when my anxiety began a couple of years ago. Since the nurses office I have noticed my physical anxiety increase, but it’s not day to day shakes or fast heart it’s more in the way of noticing every bodily sensation and it sends me into an anxiety attack. For example daily I keep looking at my face to check my lips are straight and haven’t had a stroke, no idea where that has come from. At the weekend I itched my cheek and noticed the lower part of my cheek felt numb and I went into high anxiety instantly and was shaking, my face went red hot and my right arm tingling, which sent me into further panic. I sat through it but it left me very shaken and i realised I am terribly sensitized right now.
Since the nurses office I have felt very afraid of being ill and needing to go back to the doctors or what if I needed to go to hospital. I’d panic like I did and make a show of myself and they’d section me thinking I was a right state and unfit mother for being like that at appointments:-( which is my biggest fear ever. I have always struggled with appointments the last few years but I do them, like this year I accomplished the dentist, a ladies physical, optician and the GP a few times for a few things i had going on. I felt anxious but with my hubby I achieved them. Well since the nurses office I cannot imagine ever going back and I think it’s why daily I feel high anxiety as I know in November they want to check my thyroid and iron again and I can’t see myself going through a blood test again after that :-( It was a horrible attack that threw the wind out of my sails. The nurse had to help me walk out of the room back to the main door as I was terrified I'd faint. This is new to me as I don’t usually get physical anxiety attacks :-( I know they are anxiety attacks but I am so upset that I keep having them over bodily sensations. It just seems an instant trigger.
My husband said' it’s normal because you are sensitized so panicking because you fear being ill and having to face an appointment again'. He made me realise that is what this is. I always had a fear of appointments and hospitals since suffering agoraphobia but what has happened recently at the doctors has made me fear it so much that it’s making me scared of every numb feeling, pain…. it really isn’t like me. I am never this on edge about my health. I had CBT 11 years ago for health anxiety but it wasn't like this, back then I had one obsession and would run to the GP seeking reassurance. Now I do my best not to go the GP unless I really have to and it's more i am sensitized to every sensation my body feels, but it's all because I feared I had a mini stroke or something that day. At CBT for my health anxiety I had to drop compulsions I was doing, now I don't really have them as I won't google anything and I am not running to my GP for tests... so I am not sure how to deal with this type of anxiety.
I feel such an idiot for panicking in the nurses room like that, I haven't stopped beating myself up for it. I am now struggling with this type of anxiety and no clue how to get through it. I have had CBT last year for intrusive thoughts and it helped with my agoraphobia and social anxiety as she set me goals, now I feel really lost and unsure what to do as this anxiety is totally different. I am still carrying on being a good mum, cooking, cleaning, going out.... but inside I am finding things tough as I feel so exhausted and worried will I get through this anxiety. I just know what happened 3 weeks ago has started this health anxiety because it's triggered my agoraphobia again so appointments are real tough again for me, so I can see that is why my anxiety is now picking on my fear of needing to see my GP or go to a hospital because it knows that I am terrified now of doing those things.
Anyway, huge ramble and I apologise but could do with some advice please.
Thank you
B
Last edited by Bonnibelle; 05-10-15 at 12:38.
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