I can't handle this anymore

[Lee222]

I started having anxiety and panic attacks 3 years ago after a very stressful period in my life. I was put on medication and after 2 years was doing so well that my doctor weaned me off the meds. The past year has been a complete nightmare though because my dad passed away suddenly after being very ill with heart problems. since his death I have never had 1 anxiety free day. Every single day is a struggle. I am in a constant state of anxiety and panic. I don't remember the last time I woke up in the morning and just felt amazing. No one even knows what I am going through because I just act completely normal on the outside but inside it's like torture. I have been experiencing extreme health anxiety where every day that I wake up I have another ache or pain or I feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I just want to feel normal again. I am typing this and I can't stop crying bcos today I just feel so hopeless. woke up again feeling ill, headache, nausea and heightened anxiety.

[MissyMischief]

Hey Lee222, I feel your pain. I've been struggling with panic/anxiety for over a year now. The medication I've been on doesn't seem to be working and I'm seeing two counselors, but am still struggling every single day. Every morning I wake with anxiety and don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. It's really awful and I, too just want to feel hopeful and happy again. Today was particularly frustrating for a number of reasons and I ended up in tears also, thinking, am I EVER going to feel better??

Anyway, you are not alone. I hope we both feel better. I'm still trying to figure out how to get out of this awful maze I'm stuck in.

What medication were you on before, and have you thought about going back on it?

[Lee222]

so sorry to hear that you are also struggling. at least I know I am not alone. I was on lexapro for almost 2 years but I dont want to go back because I feel like I got through it and going back would feel like I failed. I'm sitting now having some tea and I feel awful. I don't know how I function and get through everyday. I feel like I am living a nightmare.

[MissyMischief]

I've been on Sertraline for 4 months and it's not helping me. If there was an antidepressant that I KNEW would work, I would take it immediately.

Why not go back on the Lexapro? You would not be a failure for doing so. You are going through a rough time and you deserve to feel better. Being on an antidepressant is much better than letting yourself deteriorate. It's not like drinking or using recreational drugs to numb the pain. Taking care of yourself and getting appropriate help is a sign of strength, not failure.

[ray.olsen]

Hi Lee222,

I understand how you feel, anxiety and panic attacks are really a hassling condition. I understand why your doctor weaned you off the meds, maybe he just doesn't want you to depend to much on them. Although I think you ought to have other kinds of treatment while you weren't taking the meds.

I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your father. If you have trouble coping i think you should do counseling and bereavement assistance therapy.

Also, please do not hide what you are having. You shouldn't hide your condition especially from your friends and relatives, they can be vital in your recovery. Don't give up and never give up hope. I've been through what you've been through and things will get better. Just follow proper treatment and always persevere.

[Lee222]

Thank you Ray Olsen. I have been having some bad days and some pretty good days. reading your post just reminded me that I am not alone in this. It's so good to know that it does get better even though when you in the eye of the storm it really doesn't feel like it. For me every single week I am having a different health anxiety issue and I know it's all in my head because I am 100% healthy. I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes but definitely keeping positive always and hanging in there.