This is my third go with citalopram, and I am not doing well. I did 4 days at 5mg trying to avoid the side affects, and after 3 days at 10 wound up a soggy mess in the doctors office looking for Ativan. I was in such a state yesterday I could no longer determine what was anxiety, what was real world stress, which parts were side affects, and which parts were Ativan fog. The doc would like to see me at 20 mg asap, and to be honest, I am now afraid to take the 10mg - I actually start to panic just looking at the bottle!
The hardest part for me right now is trying to be normal for my kids. At 10 & 12 they are old enough that they know something isn't right. I try to explain in a cheery honest way about the new medication I'm taking to help mom stop worrying, but inside I'm screaming and climbing the walls.
This site was my lifeline in 2010. Reading my own posts from then has given me strength as I know this will pass. Knowing I am not alone in this also brings me great hope.
My biggest challenge right now is getting through the morning. My goal for one week from today is to make that struggle to get through a whole day. I will deal with each attack as it comes and pray for the end of the day.
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