Positive life events = imminent doom?

[Girl in SF]

Hi all,

Here's what I've been struggling with today:

Something REALLY good happened to me today. I received a generous job offer at a reputable, high-profile company. This is a huge step for me considering where I'm coming from in my career. Needless to say, I'm elated. I couldn't be more excited.

Now, why do I feel like something horrible is going to happen? Like, I'm going to hit the ground running at my new job just to be diagnosed with some terrible disease three weeks later? (I have severe HA) Why do I feel like it's too good to be true? Like something good has to be met with something bad? It's difficult for me to be happy about this extremely positive, life-changing event.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I am verrrrry thankful for this opportunity. I just can't believe that something positive actually worked out for me. Something horrible has to be coming, right?

Does anyone get like this? Like something good happens, so something bad must follow? How do you deal?

x

[Oosh]

Maybe it's not so much that you always have to believe something bad will happen when something good comes along. Maybe all you are really doing is just focusing on YOUR fear like everybody else on here does.

Youre starting a new job, of course that's great. But the people here, people prone to anxiety, can't help but think what if.

A person with social anxiety has social fears so their mind will quickly focus on their social fears in this new workplace, a person with a fear of panic attacks on fears of panic in the workplace and a person with health anxieties on what health anxieties they can associate with this new workplace. But all that's true in all cases is you are always prone and in the habit of focusing on YOUR particular fears.

In all cases your imagination will start to picture your fear scenarios and you'll become anxious. It's nothing really to do with a good thing happening or that particular workplace it's just your fears seeping into each area of your life.

Now why you HAVE those health anxieties in the first place is a separate matter. I suppose the ultimate way to change this situation is to try to get to the bottom of why you're always anxious about health and weaken the foundations it sits on until it makes less and less sense to you and you ultimately don't believe it anymore, see the flaws in it and develop new thought processes when those ideas pop into your head.

But in the meantime accept that you're simply just picturing your fears, it's fears and the imagined only. And that's going to happen, right up until you are there and face the reality. Then your mind will be dealing with the reality and slowly you will see for yourself how the imagined and the reality are different and that the imagined was the thing that couldn't be trusted. The reality is quite different and maybe involves new job satisfaction, friends, fun, a healthier bank balance, an improved self image. Then you can see your health FEARS more for what they are and that they don't quite match reality.

But you can only see through, recognise your fears/imagination and weaken it by facing the reality like that. There's how you picture life and how life really is. Recognise that, for you, both can be different. Learn to recognise when your fears/imagination are at play and find it easier then to get a handle on it and feel more and more able to control it and put it back in its box. Being able to recognise it can weaken your belief in it.

Congratulations on your new job ! Focus on all the good things that can come out of it. Your fears will obviously pop in there, recognise them, see them for what they are, mind back focusing on the more enjoyable aspects, and repeat. It becomes easier and easier to do. Repetition creates a new habit. Spend more and more time in the new habit. Shrug off fears quicker and quicker when they try to intrude and ultimately aim to forget.

Omg a new job !! So exciting !!

[Girl in SF]

Thanks for the reply.

I guess I didn't realize that the feeling of doom that I have is just part of having anxiety. It's not because I have a new job, it's because I have anxiety. You've made that clear to me. I really appreciate that.

I'm thinking this feeling might also stem from my overarching feeling of unworthiness. All things to continue working on. Thanks, again.