I have officially lost it completely so scared

[GadGirl]

So yesterday after battling a cold/viral infection early in the week and my anxiety being sky high recently I have officially lost it to the point I took my self to a & e last night and said My brains feels weird I am going crazy :( I was actually sitting rocking back and forward in the hospital.

I had the feeling all day that my head just wasn't right my body felt light and I just felt like things were not real what did feel real was me saying that I had officially lost my mind I was loosing touch with reality.

Usual tests and surprisingly my pulse was really low at 89 (that's low for me) blood pressure perfect temp etc.

Just my mind was not the doctor came to see me and asked some questions and said I defo do not have schizophrenia or psychosis.

That this was done to anxiety just its manifesting itself in a different way she said i did seem a bit manic but that's understandable as im under stress.

She said there was nothing they could do and im to go see my GP.. Im sitting here on 3 hours sleep having just forced some scrambled eggs down and Im still the exact same as i was yesterday and really scared that this is me now and iv finally made myself go crazy :(

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well, you certainly can't go crazy from anxiety disorders - they just make you feel that way! I remember reading a leaflet about psychosis & schizophrenia from a centre that treats people with those. It was where rhe charity running the anxiety/depression walk-in meetings borrowed a room. The NHS leaflets explained how people suffering such episodes really don't realise it and it's usually others that pursue help for them.

The rocking back & forth is something I have done before. It was because I was just so agitated I couldn't sit still. I had loads of this going onto this current med and I couldn't sit down for hours when I got out of bed as I was so wired from the adrenaline increases and not in a good way.

Try to get some rest. I know it's hard but sleep is so important, even if you just do some dozing to get a power knap.

I would suggest doing something that you would normally enjoy or be able to engage with to see if it grounds you for a bit.

[GadGirl]

Hi Terry thanks for your reply,

I just cant seem to feel normal I am finding it hard to believe that this is just anxiety and its quite refreshing that you said you cant go crazy from anxiety. but it really does feel like it. Sleeping is hard for me at the moment every-time i close my eyes i see random images and just feel panic x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Oh, I know. I was really very bad a few years ago in the year following my relapse. I started a major spike of OCD in many forms. At the height of it I felt like I had no control over my compulsions and my day was just end-to-end compulsions no matter what I was doing. I thought I was losing my mind. Learning about OCD helped me to try to accept it, although it took some time to really make it stick.

There was a thread by another member on the HA board not long ago and his brother was in the middle of a psychotic episode of some kind. He was immediately sectioned (notice the difference to your experience at A&E) and he was just stuck in his episode and couldn't see outside of it. His family brought the doctors in, he had no intention otherwise because to him his behaviour was normal.

You knew it could be anxiety even if it is hard to accept it. He couldn't see anything other than it being nornal to him and this is difference with these more complex disorders. Somebody like that wouldn't be on here talking about, they would be completely absorbed by it.

Can you try to do some techniques that aim to reduce overall anxiety? Maybe some breathing exercises, some exercise, Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) etc?

[GadGirl]

I am trying to do breathing exercises they work for about 10 mins then I get that sense of panic again :(

[MyNameIsTerry]

If you keep doing them throughout your day, it can start bringing your anxiety levels down overall. Thats not a quick process though, but it can happen. At least they help in their short bursts for now though and it's better to keep inserting those breaks than suffering the anxiety all day long.

Do what you can. It's a hard stage to be at but you will get past it. I was a real state and I believe if I got past that, everyone can. My anxiety was 24/7 non stop back then and when the OCD was making me feel like I was losing my mind, I thought I would never escapt it. I thought my life would be like that forever...and I'm in a much better place now.

[dally]

Hi gad girl

When I have had MAJOR panic attacks, I really felt I needed to go to hospital, to be heavily sedated. The terrorising fear of agoraphobia stopped me.
Also I suppose 5% of my logical brain told me it could JUST BE ANXIETY!!
The horrible doom /stomach churning fear lasted for hours and days (even through the books say no more that 10 mins). And the fear that these feelings could go on indefineltly was soul destroying.
So for me agoraphobia stopped me from going to hospital or phoning 999.
And eventually, when I did calm down, as we all do. I was glad I hadn't gone to hospital and 'wasted their time'.

actually your story of your 'normal' BP ,pulse, temp. Etc is reassuring to me, and I have read it many times on NMP by OP.

It confirms that when WE think we are dying or are seriously ill, our bodies are totally fine!!
If only we could convince our brains of that!!

[GadGirl]

I just had never felt that feeling before of feeling totally detached from the world and have it continue on all day.

With my general anxiety its always the feeling scared, fast heart rate etc etc.

So to have a total new kind of feeling was terrifying .. I still feel the same today.

My anxiety only ever used to be in burts etc I would calm down but the last wee while it has been 24/7 symptoms and I am just really terrified

[dally]

It is a scary feeling. But. At least you know your vital recordings are all OK.
You are doing the right thing by eating little and often and perhaps try a short walk outside and try to focus your mind on Nature or outdoor sounds etc

[GadGirl]

Thats the bonus that medically nothing is wrong with me

Just need to try and fix my brain I guess. I need to get juice as I have none in the house so need to prepare myself to walk across the road and get some.