Need advice asap please

[claramy]

My partner has anxiety

He is receiving therapy ans doing well.
Today we are due to go visit his family.
He's anxious he always is. It's always a stress in his anxiety going anywhere as he stresses about the car journey and his parents house is where his anxiety started so he ascociated his panic attacks
He has been pacing all morning about going convinced he will have a panic attack and so now he is in a full blown panic attack begging me to let him back out of going.... what do I do?
I don't want to insist we go and make him worse but I fear giving in and cancelling our plans will just confirm his panic and make it worse next time. Opinions? Advice?

[23tana]

I tend to agree with you. It's been my experience that the things I've panicked about most have usually turned out far less worrying than I thought they would be.

If he doesn't go, he risks cutting himself off from his family which would not be good.

[ana]

As an anxiety sufferer, I can tell you that feeling like you 'have to' do something puts extra strain and makes me resist doing that thing or going to that place, especially if the place in question is something I associate with panic attacks.
If I back out, I feel like I've let myself down. If I go, I end up having a panic attack and will therefore more likely avoid going there again. It's a lose-lose situation! :(

Perhaps if you told him to give it a try and go, but that you'd turn back if he was to feel like he couldn't do it, it may make him feel better as the pressure of 'having to' go visit his family would be lessened. If I were him, I'd take comfort in knowing that I could always go back, but I'd want to keep on going to see how far I can make it. Usually, I make it all the way to my location and feel proud of myself for having done so afterwards.

[jayb1]

Personally I'd cancel. Avoidance isn't the ideal thing but he obviously in a fit state to do it. Once his panic has died down he may change his mind but if he's anything like me after a huge attack I'm exhausted. Hope he feels better soon

[claramy]

This is always my dilemma. .. I don't want to go and for him to feel worse. The main cause of his panic at the moment is the journey it's self. Have taken your advice ana and said let's try, if you at any point change your mind and want to go home we can.

[jayb1]

Best of luck . I know hard it will be for him . I'm glad he's got someone lovely and supportive like you

[ana]

I'm glad you found my advice useful. Hopefully it takes some pressure off. The journey itself is the worst thing for me, to, travelling from point A to point B feels like torture, but once I'm there, I'm fine.

Good luck, and I hope your partner feels better soon

[Pepperpot]

Yeah, tell him it's his call and you can pull over whenever x