Lymph Nodes Teenager Anxiety

[Deathstroke42]

So, decided to post here finally. I've always been a bit of a hypochondriac- or, rather, a big hypochondriac, who catastrophises any and every system, usually to diseases like cancer (which I have a really irrational and constant fear of), a tiny bit of pain coupled with a Google search diagnosing me with the worst possible illness I could possibly imagine before it goes away in a few days; as I'm sure everyone here knows, it's not a nice cycle. Every little thing I think must be something terrible, and deep down I know it's silly, but I do it anyway.

My biggest fixation has always been my lymph nodes. I felt a small lump under the skin (none of them are raised above the skin) what must have been six to seven years ago now, and back then thought nothing really of it- it was gushy, no bigger than a couple of centimeters, and moved around under the touch, and has never grown. That was probably because it didn't come with a Google search. Then, around two and a half years ago (I was 15, now 18) I felt some more bumps under the skin in my neck, and instantly panicked, diagnosing myself with all kinds of lymphoma the moment I hit Google. As I poked and prodded them, they didn't grow, but I think did firm up somewhat, and have never gone down- I poked and prodded all over my body, finding several in my groin, and all around my neck, under the jaw, on both sides, etc.

They're all around 0.5cm to 2cm at biggest, firm but not hard, and move under the touch. Honestly, I'm not even sure if they're swollen, or if I can just palpitate them normally. In two years, they have never grown.

I seem to alternate region by region panicking and endlessly poke and prod, and in that time they seem to get bigger, before I calm down and they seem to get smaller. I go a few weeks or a month without panic, and then move on to the next region, some cold or illness flaring a few up and me freaking out before the cycle repeats itself. Whenever I've been to the Doctor (never for the express purpose of having them checked, but they've been felt several times) the doctors have never been concerned about them or seemed phased by them, and neither have friends or family, with some even suggesting they can feel similar.

I'm rather thin, so I think this may be part of the reason why I can feel them so easily but they've never been raised above the skin and no one else seems concerned about them. I also have had quite bad acne throughout the teenage years, and I understand this can cause them to flare up and stay up, particularly when I won't leave them alone.

It seems these nodes are probably the biggest cause of anxiety all over the internet. Just how likely are they to be cancer or something terrible, truly, as opposed to Google just saying that they pretty much always are (I know not to trust Doctor Google!) After this long without any of them growing (or, when they seemingly do, going back down), should I go to the doctor again (I honestly don't think it'll reassure me that much), or should I just finally move on? Thanks in advance for the reassurement and advice!

[TheMadOladCoger]

Hello and welcome to NMP!

I like you have a Lymph Node obsession and am rather young a little older than you I am 22 mine also similar to yours started because I found a lump and Googled it. That was a mistake as I'm sure you know, anyway over the last couple of months I have found many different Lumps and bumps in my neck and under my jaw. In my states of panic I would repeatedly visit my Doctors surgery and would be told the same thing by them and people on this forum "If its not above 1.5cm/2cm is round and movable its normal" 2cm is normally a point where a Doctor would start to take a better look at the Lymph Nodes but that still doesn't mean that its anything bad sometimes they just swell for example a cold or flu virus will course a Lymph Node to swell and if you mess with them once they have swollen they don't always go down.

I am pretty sure that there are quite a lot of people like us on the forum who have Lymph Nodes they can feel and as you have said you are thin meaning its a lot easier to feel them as there is not much between the Lymph Nodes and the skin.

My advice stop Googling, stop messing with them as I know you are as I do it myself all the time. I wouldn't say you need to go to a Doctor but you can if you really want to but constant reassurance seeking if just fuel on the fire that is anxiety. Get some help if possible if you go to your GP for them to be checked and when he says they are fine (I am pretty sure he will if they are the way you have described) maybe bring up your anxiety and ask for some help. CBT works for some and medication is also good but if you are like me and you can't really tolerate it very well CBT is your best bet.

Sorry if this is spelt a little wrong I wrote it on my phone.

Peace

[Deathstroke42]

Thank you for the reply and reassuring me! Part of me is quite sure that I can just normally feel them and given I've been able to feel them for well over two years now without any change in them they're just normal or up a little bit for another reason, and yet I can't ever seem to shake that creeping HA fear that it's something far more sinister, as I do in every other case! I'll try not to prod them as much- I do at times try to 'leave them alone' but that still entails poking them several times a day.

[Fishmanpa]

Someone recently posted about nodes and how so many posters talk about the size when in fact, even a medical professional is taking an educated guess... An experienced real world guess but a guess nonetheless.

I can see people, poking and prodding and finding a node, pushing and prodding some more, pulling their fingers away and then measuring on a tape measure. Much the same a fisherman's catch is always a little larger than the reality, I feel the measurement of nodes is much the same.

I had H&N cancer. I had swollen nodes estimated at about 5cm by medical professionals. Upon dissection and removal, they measured a little more than 5cm each. I have photos of them next to a ruler. I have to highly doubt estimates from HA sufferers.

We have over 600 nodes in our bodies, many of which we can feel. A "normal" node can be up to 2cm in size. There are tests and other symptoms that coincide with a swollen node that would put it in the "sinister" category.

99.9% if not ALL node posts here concerning nodes are benign in nature based on post histories.

Positive thoughts

[Deathstroke42]

Someone recently posted about nodes and how so many posters talk about the size when in fact, even a medical professional is taking an educated guess... An experienced real world guess but a guess nonetheless.

I can see people, poking and prodding and finding a node, pushing and prodding some more, pulling their fingers away and then measuring on a tape measure. Much the same a fisherman's catch is always a little larger than the reality, I feel the measurement of nodes is much the same.

I had H&N cancer. I had swollen nodes estimated at about 5cm by medical professionals. Upon dissection and removal, they measured a little more than 5cm each. I have photos of them next to a ruler. I have to highly doubt estimates from HA sufferers.

We have over 600 nodes in our bodies, many of which we can feel. A "normal" node can be up to 2cm in size. There are tests and other symptoms that coincide with a swollen node that would put it in the "sinister" category.

99.9% if not ALL node posts here concerning nodes are benign in nature based on post histories.

Positive thoughts

Thanks for further reassuring me- I do feel that, particularly in states of anxiety and with a tendency to catastrophise, the 'measurements' we make are typically overblown of the reality, just down to perception through these anxieties.

---------- Post added at 01:56 ---------- Previous post was at 01:15 ----------

Someone recently posted about nodes and how so many posters talk about the size when in fact, even a medical professional is taking an educated guess... An experienced real world guess but a guess nonetheless.

I can see people, poking and prodding and finding a node, pushing and prodding some more, pulling their fingers away and then measuring on a tape measure. Much the same a fisherman's catch is always a little larger than the reality, I feel the measurement of nodes is much the same.

I had H&N cancer. I had swollen nodes estimated at about 5cm by medical professionals. Upon dissection and removal, they measured a little more than 5cm each. I have photos of them next to a ruler. I have to highly doubt estimates from HA sufferers.

We have over 600 nodes in our bodies, many of which we can feel. A "normal" node can be up to 2cm in size. There are tests and other symptoms that coincide with a swollen node that would put it in the "sinister" category.

99.9% if not ALL node posts here concerning nodes are benign in nature based on post histories.

Positive thoughts

My latest concern was because on the back of my neck I can feel one beneath the skin that's soft (quite squishy) and a bit tender, which I noticed because I have two quite nasty pimples there (like I said, I have mild acne). Do you think this could be attributed to the pimple infection and it's worth waiting a week or two to see if there's any change?