I'm new...

[Kilimanjaro]

Hi,

I am new here and just need some support. My husband has had enough of me and I just cannot burden him anymore...
My H/A comes and goes but every time it comes back I always think this is it. This time I am right.. It always related to cancer of some sort.. This time lymphoma as have enlarged lymph nodes in my groin and am itchy and have lots of bruises. I spoke to the Doc a month or so ago and she said she was not worried but before this she did feel the largest lump and said 'are you sure this hasn't grown'.. I said I didn't know... I keep going over what she asked that if she wasn't thinking it could be something sinister.. I can't stop checking now and I feel like I am going mad.. I have two young children and cannot stop fearing I'll die and leave them without a mother. My baby son is only 10 months old...
I am torn because I so desperately want to go back to Doc and get her to re-check but part of me is terrified it will be something and another part not wanting yet another doctor in my practice to think I am bonkers and a time waster... I feel so anxious I am going to explode..

[dizzy daisy]

Don't worry we can all relate to how you're feeling. It's not nice to have anxiety as the physical symptoms can be so severe it makes you think that something is wrong. I think you should trust your doctor though and remember they examined you and after they considered all your symptoms they decided they were not concerned so you shouldn't worry. Easier said than done I know.
Do you think if you could get the courage to go back and they still say not concerned you'd accept that? Xxxx

[Kilimanjaro]

I would accept it for a time but if the lumps don't go down I'd soon start to think she may have got it wrong and if they do it won't be long before I have a different scare.. I got like this after my daughter was born too and did CBT and was on citralopram.. I wish I wasn't like this but I always seem to have symptoms to worry about. I never used to. I used to be so healthy without a care in the world. I hate living like this. I am pushing my husband away.. ��