Why does my boyfriend joke so much about me cheating?

[sadtimes]

This isn't really OCD related but I'm not sure where to put it.

I've never cheated on my boyfriend, I did get a little too close to a male friend while drunk, which I told him about and he said it was no big deal at all, and I kissed a female friend, which I told him about and he said it didn't bother him.

We've been at different universities for 2 months now and we see eachother once every two weeks, which I feel is going well.

I have only really made male friends though since starting uni because It's much easier for me to get along with them, only a couple female friends.

Although my boyfriend said he was okay with any of the stuff I've done, he always makes jokes about me cheating for example:

- "What if when you were on drugs you had sex with like 90 people and don't remember" - I remember every time I've been on drugs and know that I've never done that.

- I found loads of long red hairs in my shower for some reason (still don't know) and my bf was like "What if you've cheated on me with some girl with red hair"

I don't know if it's actually a joke or him projecting insecurities through jokes.

I asked him anyway what it's all about and he hasn't replied yet.

What do you think? should I have asked him or was that dumb to do?

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's not a dumb thing to do, it's bothering you and it's better to discuss such things so he knows.

It could be projection of something I guess regardless these are comments which touch a nerve with your anxiety issues and I think he needs to be mindful of that. These are not everyday comments that we have to learn to accept when our partners get frustrated with us, this is a bit over the top (well certainly the one about cheating with 90 people). It could just be his way of laughing things off, coping and joking around but only you know that as we don't know his personality and how you talk to each other.

I think it's worth giving him some time to answer because he may be worried about how to phrase things so that they don't make it sound worse to you. But communication is a good thing and if it helps him to adjust what he says so that it doesn't cause you further issues, it's worth it. Sometimes us blokes need a kick up the bum for saying things as we are very different when we speak to each other and being a younger guy he may not have learnt that yet. It's more complicated too with there being an anxiety disorder in play with all the negative & distorted thinking that can involve and he may not realise how your anxiety mind inteprets these things in a way other than harmless in his.

[uru]

Do you live together?