Hi all
I,m so angry and have serouisly damaged my hand by hitting a glass painting and ended up in hospital.
Im 38yrs old and was abused when I was 9 til 14 yrs, suffered in silence of course and developed anorexia and ocd.
I ran away from home because my mother was evil and her male friend was abusing me, I loved my dad but couldnt tell him.
I had my daughter at the age of 17yrs, she is now coming up for her 21st birthday.
I stayed single and brought up my daughter alone and would not entertain men as I was so afraid men would target her. I told her when she was born that my job was to protect her and keep her safe. I worked as a social worker for mental health and thought I knew it all, in a nice way.
In october 1995 I found out my dearest dad was dying of cancer, it effected both my daughter and I badly. we couldnt cope at all, we saw him daily and he became a father figure to her, I trusted him with her life and they were so happy together.
I then met a guy, not planned, but we got on and I trusted him.
after 6mths we moved into together.Shortly after my dad died.
Truma and disppear for both of us.
12mths later my daughter tried to kill herself and ended up in hospital I then discovered she had anorexia. She came home but her weight went down and down until she could no llonger stay at home. She was sent to Kent and we lived in Cornwall. I saw her every other weekend , thats all your allowed.
I began to hate my partner and wanted out, I tried so many times. I finally left, but was told by the professor caring for her if I went through with it I would lose her, blaming herself, she was 4 stone.
Anyway I went back to him knowing that when she was well I would leave. She spent 4yrs in hospital, heart failure and very poorly girl.
August of 2006, I found out that my partner was abusing her from day one , she was too afraid to tell as he threatened her life and mine.
I nearly killed him the day after and have charges against me.
My daughter went to the police and told the whole story, they gathered evidence and then arrested him. By this time Id had a breakdown and was sectioned for my own safety in Sept til Jan this year.
The CPS have informed us that they are not taking it to court because there is not enough evidence for 12 jury to convict and it has to be unamious to get a guilty plea. Also they wont except my statement, why , because it says in the letter she received from them that her MOTHER WAS INSANE AND CANNOT GIVE EVIDENCE, how do you think that has made me feel.
She has so much going for her but theyw will not proceed.
Today he is walking free.
In this counrty, fact , there are 45,000 sexual abusers on the list, guess what 1 in 10 go to court so that means there could be as many as 45,00000
abusers in this counrty alone.
I cant let this go and I dont know what to do, my mind is on overdrive and Im going mad.
WHY WHY WHY, my little girl gone through what I went through and I promised her she would never suffer.
What am I going to do, I cant just sit and let it go.
Im going to a sloicitors next week to see what I can do.
Im so ill now again, and Im trying to support my daughter who did a very brave thing, and has been let down by the system, feeling shes a liar and rejection. Im so afraid Im going to lose her, as she feels she has nothing to live for.
I so scared.
Sorry if this has upset anyone but I needed to get it out on paper and let people know what is actually going on behind our backs.
how can we save these children?
smudgie
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