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Thread: Dad having heart surgery - very scared

  1. #1

    Dad having heart surgery - very scared

    Hi,
    I am going out of my mind with worry about my dad who is currently in hospital after having a heart attack. He has to have heart bypass surgery at Southampton and is waiting for a slot to become available.
    I am so, so close to my dad and the worry of all this is eating me up. I have been comforted by people I know telling my stories of relatives that have had the surgery and are now ok but the fear is almost paralysing. I can't eat or sleep, I am shaking all the time and I just don't know what to do with myself.
    My dad is 80 but has always been very active for his age. He has been helping my do up my house for the last 2 years and has done all the diy with me.
    My brother has been on the nhs website and told me that the success rate for the op is very high so I just keep thinking of thst and telling myself to calm down.
    im just looking for any comforting words from others who have been in my position to help me get through this. Thank you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    27,320

    Re: Dad having heart surgery - very scared

    I'm really sorry to hear your dad is going through a tough time with right now. Everything is on his side though, the high success rates, the surgeon who I'm sure has said the same and your dad's excellent physical health.

    Being a dad I bet he is worried about you too. It's just how they are. And knowing how dads are, he will most likely be wanting to get back on with your DIY very soon and be frustrated with all the sitting about.

    Try to remain strong. Just eat in small portions, whenever you can and do try to rest because you need to keep your strength up for both of you.

    Offload on here if you need to. There are a couple of regular guys (FMP and Phill2) who've had heart attacks that can offer much wiser words.
    __________________
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    For free Mindfulness resources, please see this thread I have created to compile many sources together http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=168689

  3. #3

    Re: Dad having heart surgery - very scared

    Thank you so much for your reply.
    You are 100% right about my dad worrying about me. He has been organising my diy projects from his hospital bed!
    We haven't got a date for his surgery yet but the nurses think it could be a few more weeks before he'll get the call then he'll be taken to Southampton the day before. I know the success rates on the operation are are high but it is still the most terrifying thing I have ever been through. I am scared to speak to the doctors and nurses incase I hear something bad and every time I go to visit him I worry there has been an update.
    A few of the other men on his ward have been through bypass surgery in the past and another man is scheduled for surgery this week and he is 86, so that is encouraging.
    I took some herbal nytol yesterday which helped me sleep a little last night but at the moment I just feel lost.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    27,320

    Re: Dad having heart surgery - very scared

    Ha ha, thats a typical top dad for you! Bored lying about with people fussing over him and wanting to get back on with some jobs. Parents are like that. When my mum was in hospital with pneumonia she was more bothered that we were all eating properly!

    He is in good company and I bet that helps a bit?

    Your brother can do the talking to the doctors/nurses for you if it's too hard right now. All that matters is that you are there with your dad and thats not exactly easy to do when you have HA worries. He will know that and be proud of you.

    These cardio surgeons are top of the game in the NHS so he will be getting the best possible treatment.

    Anyone would feel a lot of what you are when being put in this situation. I think we lose sight of that sometimes when it comes to these real events. Feeling lost is how anyone would feel as we can't help but don't underestimate the power of just being there for him.
    __________________
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    For free Mindfulness resources, please see this thread I have created to compile many sources together http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=168689

  5. #5

    Re: Dad having heart surgery - very scared

    Thank you for your replies, you have really helped

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    3,215

    Re: Dad having heart surgery - very scared

    I wish your Dad all the best.. please try not to worry too much beccaroo.
    Terry has advised you and I cannot better that. Stay fit as he will need a little help
    when he comes home, so you stay strong for him
    __________________
    Magic

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