Depersonlization and questioning reality.

[Mike_NY]

I am having a terrible bout of depersonalization at the moment. I keep thinking I am losing my mind or have some terrible illness such as CJD or Dementia. Does anyone else feel like this? I am very scared again at the moment It feel like the feeling are never going to stop.

Hi Sophie, I'm having one of those days too. I was really bad a couple of hours ago but i've managed to distract myself enough that it's faded almost completely. That plus i'm having a few beers watching the oscars

Hang in there and try not to think about it. Do something to distract yourself and it will be less intense. I know it's hard, but we have to accept it and get on with it.

[jessicalittler79]

I myself has this right now and its scary..but it will not harm you

[Suziewuzie]

I suffer with this terribly, it's really the only anxiety symptom that I've never managed to shake. It's very hard to explain to people and because of this I find it very isolating. I moved house today and spent the whole day in a dream world, was looking at all of my things in boxes thinking "I know I packed them & I know they're mine but I don't remember packing them and they all feel so foreign"
I just try to carry on as normal. It's hard but the more I focus on it the worse it gets and the more scared I become, so now I just tell myself "Yeah I feel like I'm not in my body today but I am, so shut up and get on with it"
It's not ideal lol but I really haven't found any other way around it.

[Mike_NY]

I suffer with this terribly, it's really the only anxiety symptom that I've never managed to shake. It's very hard to explain to people and because of this I find it very isolating. I moved house today and spent the whole day in a dream world, was looking at all of my things in boxes thinking "I know I packed them & I know they're mine but I don't remember packing them and they all feel so foreign"
I just try to carry on as normal. It's hard but the more I focus on it the worse it gets and the more scared I become, so now I just tell myself "Yeah I feel like I'm not in my body today but I am, so shut up and get on with it"
It's not ideal lol but I really haven't found any other way around it.

This is exactly what I do also Suzie. Sometimes it will leave me for weeks, then when it comes back, it's like back to square one again, trying to shake it off for weeks and the one thing that makes it spiral out of control is thinking "will this ever leave me?"

How long have you had it? I have had it on and off since last June. In the beginning it was unbearable, like walking through the twilight zone 24/7

[Suziewuzie]

To be honest I have suffered with it for about 10 years - not constantly, don't worry! I first noticed it would happen occasionally while I was at college, it only lasted for a couple of minutes and I didn't think much of it then because I went months and months without it happening again. I used to call it 'the spinnies' and it didn't affect my life too much, I certainly didn't know it had a name.

When I started uni I noticed it happening more and more, I had no idea what the heck it was because I didn't even realise that I was anxious. Generally it would just pop up and last for an hour or so and then dissapear for a couple of days or weeks.

After uni and into my career as a nurse it hasn't ever really left me. It happens when I have to speak in large groups - which I understand, because I know this makes me anxious, but it also happens when I'm sat relaxing with my boyfriend, in the supermarket with family - anything! I suddenly get an overwhelming feeling of NOTHING IS REAL and I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM/WHO I AM and this is what a panic attack is to me.
Since starting on antidepressants and learning anxiety management techniques, I don't get these overwhelming attacks of it but I definitely still have it in the background all the time.
A month ago I had a huge panic attack and was depersonalising at work too much to safely continue so I got signed off sick. I'd say in that month I havent had any overwhelming attacks of it, but it's still there in the background every day. I have changed the way I look at it, so instead of being scared of it now it just annoys the hell out of me - I find it kind of numbs all of my feelings towards everything and everyone, which I hate! But I know that if I ignore it, it'll go away eventually. One day!

---------- Post added at 20:15 ---------- Previous post was at 19:49 ----------

Oddly enough, The time travellers wife is on TV right now & the way he describes how it feels before he time travels sounds exactly like how I feel before I have a DP attack! Maybe I'm not anxious, I'm just a time traveller

[Sophie123]

Thanks Peeps. It does make me feel better knowing that it is just anxiety and that I am not going mad or suffering from some sort of awful illness. I hope it passes soon. I have not had it this bad in quite a while

[Suziewuzie]

Sophie I have wasted many hours of many days telling myself that I'm going mad. I've had many dark moments lay awake convincing myself that the way I'm feeling means I'm losing my mind and I'm going to be sectioned.
You're not going mad & you don't have dementia or CJD, your brain is just so tired from anxiety that it's having a little rest from the real world, leaving you on autopilot. Let it rest! The way you feel is horrible but it can't hurt you, and you CAN survive like this until your mind wakes up again and lets you get back to normal x

[BrokenAge]

I've had moment exactly like this. I'd just stay up all night worrying and telling myself "this is it, I'm gonna lose it" to realize I never did, and many months of feeling like this you realize it's just a feeling, it never devolpes into anything more.

[Sophie123]

Thanks so much Suziewuzie and BrokenAge. I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks on and off for 22 years and each time it comes back I never remember feeling that bad. The dp is really getting to me this time and it does seem to be lasting longer and longer. I feel like the front of my brain feels really strange and stressed and my eyes are so dry and gritty. They feel like they are vibrating and racing all the time along with my head lol. I just want this to pass so I can feel better again. Thanks so much for your advice and support. Really appreciate this. I absolutely love this site. It is so good.

---------- Post added at 03:16 ---------- Previous post was at 02:29 ----------

Sophie I have wasted many hours of many days telling myself that I'm going mad. I've had many dark moments lay awake convincing myself that the way I'm feeling means I'm losing my mind and I'm going to be sectioned.
You're not going mad & you don't have dementia or CJD, your brain is just so tired from anxiety that it's having a little rest from the real world, leaving you on autopilot. Let it rest! The way you feel is horrible but it can't hurt you, and you CAN survive like this until your mind wakes up again and lets you get back to normal x

Thank you it is such a relieve to know I am not on my own.

---------- Post added at 03:16 ---------- Previous post was at 03:16 ----------

I've had moment exactly like this. I'd just stay up all night worrying and telling myself "this is it, I'm gonna lose it" to realize I never did, and many months of feeling like this you realize it's just a feeling, it never devolpes into anything more.

Thank you

[GadGirl]

This is exactly what I do also Suzie. Sometimes it will leave me for weeks, then when it comes back, it's like back to square one again, trying to shake it off for weeks and the one thing that makes it spiral out of control is thinking "will this ever leave me?"

How long have you had it? I have had it on and off since last June. In the beginning it was unbearable, like walking through the twilight zone 24/7

Thats how i explain it twilight zone - Some days are better than others depending on if i get any sleep. Its the constant deja vu i have with it though that doesnt go away and the constant mind chatter,racing thoughts that are driving me insane etc :(