Hi all,
I hope everyone is doing OK. As I feel I am doing much better at the moment, I thought it might be helpful to share a few of the strategies that have helped me get to this place. When I was really low the success stories on this part of the board were a great encouragement, so it's time to pay it forward!
A couple of months ago I had what I guess you'd call a 'breakdown' - a big spike in anxiety and depression that had clear causes, but quickly grew out of proportion to the triggers. I had to move back to my parents' house, my relationship and job were in jeopardy...you get the picture. It has been a dark time but now I feel I am coming through the other side. Here are some of the things I have learned, in the hope they might also help you:
1. Don't be afraid to ask for help
One of the big lessons has been opening up and showing vulnerability. It has been amazing how supportive everyone is once it is explained to them, and it is an important (and new) thing for me to accept help. So I would say, don't ever be afraid to let people know what's going on - more often than not they will surprise you with your loveliness. As one friend said, 'It takes a strong person to admit to needing help.'
2. Be in touch with friends more
When I was really in the dark, I made it a rule to text/email three friends every day. It could be about silly things or just checking in, but it was just a slight boost every time I heard from them, and so important not to isolate yourself.
3. Talk with people who understand
This community has been a really great asset too, as I've been able to share emotions with people who are going through similar things. Without it I think I would have felt more lonely. Thanks, NMP!
4. The Percentage Rule
Some days it was frustrating - I just wanted to feel 100% again. So I'd say: OK, getting out of bed will make me feel 10% better (even if I REALLY don't want to). Having breakfast will make me feel 5% better again. If I can shower, that's another 15% - and so on and so forth, until I would get to early afternoon and feel perhaps 60% better. I had to fight my own innate perfectionism and wanting to be better like NOW, and realise that some days you may get to 60% and that's still pretty good.
5. Therapy/Meds/Throwing the Whole Bucket at the Problem!
I sought help early from my GP, who adjusted my medication, and I also got a referral to a psychiatrist, who has adjusted it further. These are invaluable tools and although it felt strange to be taking more drugs, it has been a very positive step and necessary to my recovery. I also had to overcome my own prejudice about talking therapies. I have had some CBT, which has been helpful. I guess what I'm saying is, don't close doors in your own face due to thinking they won't help - sometimes it's a case of 'throw everything at this' until you find what works for you.
6. All the Lifestyle Things/Calm Environment
Getting enough sunlight, taking supplements, getting enough sleep, relaxing - people tell you to do these things and for me it has helped. The thing that has helped most of all has been removing stressors - even things like a loud TV or music - from the environment. When your system is overloaded, it's OK to want absolute peace and quiet, so I would recommend being assertive about this if you can, to give yourself a chance!
7. You Don't Have to Feel This Way
I think one realisation I have come to may be useful. I started feeling anxious during the latest bout because I perceived my marriage was ending. 'Anybody would feel anxious about that!' I thought. And probably that's true, most people would feel anxious - but not to the degree I was feeling it! I realised that feeling this way was NOT inevitable - I didn't have to suffer as a matter of course, because I was an 'anxious person'. So, I think I decided to take the pressure of the inevitability off my own shoulders, and that has helped a little bit.
Long post guys, but hopefully some of it may be of some use.
Happy 2016!!
Lots of love
Beatroon
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