Definitely having a depression blip week 5. Ugh

[MrsCav]

I only ever stuck at 20mg. I found that worked. Anxiety is a pain in the bum. You can give yourself as many talking too's as you want, but it doesn't help. I found it quite hard to explain to people how it felt, like being terrified all the time and having no where to run too, yet you don't want to run. My husband loves mountain biking, he goes all over the UK to ride up and down mountains and he lives for that adrenalin rush, I use to say to him 'what you live for is what I want to get rid of'. In fact he was mountain biking when he had his heart attack, he carried on for a further 20 mins before he realised something was seriously wrong and had to stop. Bloomin' men!

I never had a counsellor, I did get referred to one, but by the time my appointments came through I was well on my way with the Prozac so it was a waste of time as I didn't feel I had any problems. But mine was a cognitive behavioural therapist. I found the meditating worked better for me. Apparently there is a good App I was reading about the other day called Headspace. It came recommended by a doctor.

I am at work this afternoon. I am fortunate that my husband has a well paid job so I have been able to stay at home with the kids (actually, I think it's having too much time on my hands which caused the anxiety, like, too much thinking time) but my little job is a volunteer job. So I will be working in the shop this afternoon. Then tonight I am out. But at this moment I don't really want to go ... can't say why, just that I would rather be tucked up in bed, with a book or the tv with a hot chocolate.

Your weather sounds a bit like ours, we might get one or two good days in the summer. At the moment it just rains and rains. I can't wait for blue skies and warmth.

Hope you're having a good day, with little anxiety and feeling positive!

[MissyMischief]

My anxiety isn't too bad today. I woke up feeling a bit low, but it seems to be passing now.

Your description of your anxiety to your husband is spot on. I tell people I want to crawl out of my own skin, but can't. Your husband sounds a lot like my boyfriend...always pushing himself to the max physically. That is scary, though, that he had a heart attack while he was so physically active and fit. I'm glad he is okay.

I forgot to answer in my last post...I have been doing regular meditation, as recommended by my counselor. At first I was only doing it at night, but now I have been doing it in the mornings as well, which does help. I use a really good free app called Stop, Breathe, and Think. I will look for the Headspace one, though. Thanks for the recommendation!

I left my job 6 months ago when my anxiety got to be too overwhelming. I thought I would take 6 weeks off to get established on an antidepressant, and then return to work. Haha, unfortunately, it didn't work like that. Fluox is the third medication I've tried. I can't wait to feel normal again and go back to a job. I completely agree that having too much time on your hands can be a bit of a curse to someone prone to worrying too much. I try to stay busy and have a set schedule, which helps.

Today is a rare sunny day. I'm going to try and get out to enjoy some of it!

I hope you have a good day and your volunteer work is satisfying!

[MrsCav]

Morning!

Hope you enjoyed your walk in the sunny weather. Constant grey weather doesn't help either, does it! I am so happy you feel less anxious today, I hope the low mood passes. That sun will help. Small steps.

I will look out for the app you suggested. I do like meditating, but it makes me very sleepy too. I also started to do something called EFT, emotional freedom thinking, which is tapping various points on your body ... that also made me exhausted. But I prefer meditating.

I had a good time last night and I am out a couple of times today. Breakfast with friends and then visiting a friend later who has just come out of hospital. This evening will be tough as my friend has just had a cancerous growth removed from her jaw. And I worry about my teeth .... it's ridiculous when much bigger things are happening in the big bad world.

Chat later x

[MissyMischief]

Hi again,

Still feeling a bit down, but just checked the calendar and it is PMS week...haha, so that probably explains it. Today is the beginning of week 8 for me.

Meditating is lovely, but it does make me sleepy at night sometimes.

I'm glad you are having positive moments, getting out with friends. Being social definitely helps.

It's amazing how our anxious brains latch onto certain things...like body sensations, or teeth, or what have you.

Sorry to hear about your friend's health problem. You are a good friend for supporting her, even if it's challenging for you .

Have a lovely day!

[MrsCav]

Ahhhh pms, yes, that will add to a low mood. Sometimes it's just not fair to be a woman

I'm of an age where I going through the 'change' ... I get tired, that's about it. I'll stick with the tiredness when I know what some women have to deal with LOL.

I am out again tonight, meal and drinks with friends ... but I am going to slope off early. Mind you, I always say that and once I have a few drinks inside me I want to party for England. But I am determined tonight I am coming home early. I'm to anxious to stay out too late.

I hope you are having a lovely weekend, do you have plans?

[MissyMischief]

I hope you had a fun time out with your friends, MrsCav.

It's very rainy right now, so I will probably spend the weekend indoors, working on some craft projects, cleaning, and watching movies in the evening. Can't complain too much.

Day 51

Still a bit down, but anxiety is low. I plan on just being kind to myself through the PMS blues. And my two dogs always give me plenty of kisses if I'm feeling too down.

[MrsCav]

I had a great time with my friends. I left early as I felt very tired all of a sudden. But the food was great as was the company. No plans for today, apart from watch a film and do the ironing.

I'm feeling much better today too, much less anxious than I have been. I'm going to make the most of Sunday being a lazy day.

It's good your anxiety is low too, hopefully that's you coming out of the other side now and yes, you will always have your doggies to make you smile.

[MissyMischief]

Glad to hear you had fun with your friends and your anxiety is down today. I hope you enjoy your lazy Sunday!

Day 52

Anxiety low. Still a bit down, but I must remind myself it's PMS. I still feel like doing some crafting today, so that is what I'm going to do.

Update:

Oh yeah, I wanted to throw out there that I'm still having insane vivid dreams every single night. I usually wake up once during the night sweating and feeling out of it from the dreams. Then I go back asleep and wake up again with more vivid dreams in my memory. It makes for a very intense night. Every single night.

[MrsCav]

I can't help with the dreams, I only ever have crazy dreams. Last night I was in a plane crash .... we all survived but I was trying to contact my son to let him know I was ok and I had very little battery life and my screen resolution had gone really tiny to preserve the battery life. But most of the dream was trying to contact him and his friend to let them know I was ok and check how they where. My mum is the same and my children have crazy dreams too.

What crafting do you do? I use to make jewellery, but I haven't for many years. I found it was cheaper to buy from Chinese sellers on Amazon. I would love to be artistic, but I'm not.

I have no plans today. I am fasting so I will take it easy. I have recently started doing 5:2, I did it many years ago and lost a bit of weight, but I gained a small amount of weight on Prozac and I want to get it off.

[MissyMischief]

Your vivid dreams sound a lot like mine. I often am trying to run away from something or someone and can't get my phone to work. Or I'm screaming for help, but I'm hoarse, and no sound comes out.

Woke up anxious, but it's subsided now. Going to see my counselor today, which usually leaves me feeling in a good mood. It's just nice to offload and get tips on what to work on throughout the week.

I've gained maybe 6 pounds or so since starting Fluox. Not too bad, I need to start seriously working out again. What is the 5:2 diet?

To answer the craft question: I do mainly knitting and sewing. I love textiles and textile art. I did try some simple jewelry, but I didn't enjoy it as much as knitting. Right now, I'm knitting my little dog a sweater, because she gets so cold in the wintertime.