Stopped me driving!

[sugaplum01]

Hello,
I've been suffering with these horrible feelings constantly for well over a year now and it's really getting to me! I'm so worried that it's not DP/DR as I can't escape it at all and it's really effecting everything. I feel so odd to be a person. Feel like I've completely lost myself...my name feels like it's not me, I feel live I've never been here before and that my past doesn't belong to me all a big dream and I feel like I don't recognise anyone or anything! It's like I've been out here 5 minutes again and I have these memories but I can't relate to any of it! I just want a life back! I don't drive anymore not for a fear of driving but because I feel so funny to be 'a person' it's like I've never done anything before! I used to drive everywhere and go out to the shops but know I can't even imagine ever being able to do any of those things again because it all feels so odd. It's like one day some switch went off and I've been trapped like this ever since! I just can't explain the feeling it just feels so odd.
Does anyone else feel this bad and will it ever get better? Is this 'normal' for DP/DR?
Thank you x

[Ditapage]

I relate to everything you're feeling. It's not something else - or we both have some other mysterious disease! It's anxiety because there are days where I am completely fine like I'd never experienced this before and days where it comes back with a vengeance and I can't leave my house. Driving felt so weird; I would be stopped at traffic lights and start zoning out and staring at the lights thinking "lights are so weird! Is that real? And then I would start looking around and thinking everything looks cardboard! Super scary feeling! I'm a Christian so in those moments all I could do was pray to get where I needed to go, safely, because I felt really unsafe. I got through it and we always will because anxiety can't make anything happen to us. It's just thoughts. You're perfectly safe.

I also had to say to myself "I'm a human being on planet earth" lol that sounds weird but it strangely helped me remember who I am and where I am!

It's just the product of an exhausted anxious mind overloaded with adrenaline. "Feeling of unreality" also happens to people who have chronic fatigue because exhaustion will make you feel detached and so does strong emotion. As scary and horrible as it is, it's actually our minds trying to be a friend to us, by helping us disconnect from
our surroundings. It's a tired anxious overloaded mind not anything else. And it sucks :( I can't go into stores by myself anymore because I'm too overwhelmed. My mind is too over stimulated and that's all that's gone wrong with us. I hope someone who overcame this can comment.

[sugaplum01]

Thank you for your reply I'm very grateful. I just can't get out of the constant cycle. As soon as I wake up I'm like ow here it goes again and I spend the whole day questioning how I feel and is it normal and what is normal? I feel that funny now that I feel like I've forgotten what 'normal' is and question whether I need to be in hospital because I'm ill or whether I just need to calm down and try to accept I have this right now and it's from anxiety!
Thank you again x

[lisa0406]

I know exactly what you mean. After I suffered DR for months I constantly had these existential thoughts and it is horrible. When the DR went away for a while I suddenly realised that I am a human, in this world. but my life seemed like...I don't know - I knew it was mine but I felt like a narrator to my own life, like I watched it from afar. I was overstimulated by everything and I am relieved that you have that too, the feeling of overstimulation, I thought I am the only one who has that. I realised how many material there is in the world and words and feelings baaah all too much. I was exhausted all the time, still am. I suffered from weeks of constant terror, it wasn't even panic attacks anymore, it was pure fear, I thought I was seriously losing it, even though I showed no symptoms of psychosis or whatever which is a good thing at least. It was just all too much. I thought I am going completely insane. I remember one day I sat in my room and watched all I own, my clothes and my bed and everything and I knew all of this stuff is mine, I just didn't have a connection to it anymore, not to my relatives, my friends, my life, my university subjects.
Worst part is - how can you explain that to someone? I went into a mental hospital but they could not help me at all. It was horrible. Still is. Luckily the DR went away and only comes in waves sometimes, but the aftermath is still horrible and makes me severly depressed.

[sugaplum01]

Thank you for your reply. I'm really struggling this week and feel like it's gotten worse (if that's possible). I keep feeling convinced I have the onset of some memory issue or a terminal illness. I've had to come away for a family holiday and I just can't even begin to explain how I feel! I feel utterly confused and odd to be a person and 'me'. I feel like I've lost touch with everything! I feel like I don't recognise all my family around me, like I'm in some weird scary dream where nothing is real and everything is just a mix and doesn't make sense! I've stayed in most of the week as I just feel so funny. It's really like I've never been this person or a person before and I've lost my marbles! I can physically feel it all over! I feel I can't explain it properly as to how it feels but it's 24/7.
Please tell me this is still the same as i feel so upset and scared with it.
Thank you x

[Jenijar]

I can totally relate to this, especially this part;

" I don't drive anymore not for a fear of driving but because I feel so funny to be 'a person' it's like I've never done anything before! I used to drive everywhere and go out to the shops but know I can't even imagine ever being able to do any of those things again because it all feels so odd."

Has it got any better for you? X