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Thread: Autism

  1. #31
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    Re: Autism

    @Ponder I have literally only just seen the above post.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    I don't take kindly to anyone being publicly roasted like that.


    I don't take kindly to a person taking a dump over someone who was trying to help them, especially someone who has significant issues of her own going on.

    I also don't take kindly to people enabling such unpleasantness. There was absolutely no excuse for a response like that and if you want to enable that kind of behaviour then that's up to you but you didn't do BB any favours here.

    I suggest you do it in PM - or otherwise you can fence with new comers like me." ~ Ponder/Me

    Am I supposed to feel intimidated here?
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  2. #32
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    Thumbs up Re: Autism

    Hi Nora, whatever you feel is on you. What I say is on me. Vise versa.

    Please consider watching the video in the following post. It explains a lot. Basically another way to get my point across is by saying "... we reap what we sow..." An uncomfortable truth for us all. No good trying to help if all we do is lay on conditions then blame and shame. Of course we gloss it over as we go along.

    I'm no here to incite popular opinion nor care for anyone's approval.

    I state a facts as I see them and don't need agreement nor validation. Any of that I struggle within myself.

    I am glad you saw my response when you did.
    Last edited by Ponder; 28-05-22 at 23:51.

  3. #33
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    Re: Autism

    One last thing before we part ways. There is no offense to be had other than what we feed your own ego/s. In this we are not alone. Something we all struggle with.

    I share the following so that in the future we may consider the importance of allowing people to express in their own space without the need to interject with conditions nor the pretentious offense we so often take when others do not wish to accept that which we so often project.

    Give it a good listen; It's only short. However, requires an open heart. Very insightful to say the least. It's also very relevant to what's transpired + how we so easily cling to labels.



    Yea yea - hypocrite I know. I take all that onboard as well ... this applies as much to myself as it does to all.

    I never dump and run. I often do my best to take the time in the revealing of problems I see. I'm not perfect but have come far. I understand the nature of where the OP is coming from. It's episodic & life long. The lack of understanding and care given in response has no doubt negatively impacted my own replies. Yes I understand how long it's been going on. I actually think where this thread has come to has been beneficial no matter what side of the fence regarding the obvious pain, suffering & disruption. Yet I stand by the essence of all I have said. However, regretful for my own reactions. As I see it, we would all do well to allow for more space in this seemingly shrinking world. It is the same with our interactions.

    Having said that though, I have now placed you on ignore because because I think that will be best for all. Just another tool to provide said space. I think it's a feature not used enough.

    I understand the need for resistance and do not blame whatever follows. Here's wishing us all the very best.
    Last edited by Ponder; 29-05-22 at 00:01.

  4. #34
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    Re: Autism

    To everyone else..

    If BB left this forum because of my responses to them then that's regrettable, but it's not my responsibility. I'd do it again, and in exactly the same way.

    I read the comment of BB's and felt hurt for Pulisa; that's 'my' autism.

    As it is, I spent my Sunday morning rage-typing at some random idiot (Ponder) whose contribution to NMP appears to be the total of 19 posts starting from June of last year. He/she has stuck me on ignore without giving me a chance to respond to his latest post - and request that I watch a video about 'ego' - and this coming from someone whose own ego makes Robbie William's look non-existent?

    When I researched into BB's posts, I saw something that bothered me - as in a distinct difference in attitude to people on here pre-diagnosis and post-diagnosis. Alarm bells time. Regardless or intention etc, BB's comment to Pulisa was snarky and unkind - not to mention unnecessary. This - especially when you're autistic- is not the kind of behaviour that should be enabled or defended. It will only serve to create more social issues and in BB's case - isolating him/her even more. BB burned a bridge with Pulisa and this is PULISA we're talking about here - as in one of the nicest people on this forum!

    I'm fair game. I have a big mouth, but not Pulisa..

    Anyway, that's it. I'm upset and frustrated but someone thank Ponder from me for hitting that IGNORE button as this means that I won't have to engage with the dickhead again! (feel free to quote me on the dickhead bit)
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  5. #35
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    Re: Autism

    That's a pretty patronising post, Ponder. Not sure that Herr Tolle would approve. I'd hate to be the target of such treatment on here but maybe I deserve it more than Nora as I antagonised Bluebottle in the first place? You can chastise me instead..

  6. #36
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    Re: Autism

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    That's a pretty patronising post, Ponder. Not sure that Herr Tolle would approve.
    Ponder's probably been watching Tolle's live streams on mute and with the auto-closed captions on, P..

    I had the auto-closed captions on when I was watching the Johnny Depp trial (cos I'm a bit deaf) and there were lots of references to Mr Death (Mr Depp) and sausages..

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    I'd hate to be the target of such treatment on here but maybe I deserve it more than Nora as I antagonised Bluebottle in the first place? You can chastise me instead..
    There was no malice in what you said Pulisa. It came across as you trying to help BB. It was also factual; autistics are vulnerable.

    The quote below was Ponder to BB...

    I guess this plays into the reality of what burning bridges is really about. Thankfully we all have the capacity to rebuild. Even if we are the only ones walking the bridge. Just keep walking because eventually if we do it long enough, we will learn how to connect soon enough.


    This would have made some sense had it not been for the fact that BB knows how to connect on here because he's spent years doing it. It's no good waffling on about 'being the only person walking the bridge' when that person (post-diagnosis) is actively pushing every other bugger over the side..

    I greatly appreciate you sticking up for me, P. Thank you. However, I don't think our Ponder appreciates people who question his questionable wisdom so prepare to be informed of your imminent arrival on his IGNORE list (which I imagine is staggeringly huge) but not before he's patronised the crap out of ya and posted another Tolle vid for you to watch)
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  7. #37
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    Re: Autism

    Quote Originally Posted by bluebottle View Post
    The National Autistic society are crap.
    The NAS are crap? A bit of a sweeping generalisation methinks?

    Surely they would have ceased to exist ages ago if they really were so crap!

  8. #38
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    Re: Autism

    Quote Originally Posted by NoraB View Post
    Ponder's probably been watching Tolle's live streams on mute and with the auto-closed captions on, P..

    I had the auto-closed captions on when I was watching the Johnny Depp trial (cos I'm a bit deaf) and there were lots of references to Mr Death (Mr Depp) and sausages..



    There was no malice in what you said Pulisa. It came across as you trying to help BB. It was also factual; autistics are vulnerable.

    The quote below was Ponder to BB...



    This would have made some sense had it not been for the fact that BB knows how to connect on here because he's spent years doing it. It's no good waffling on about 'being the only person walking the bridge' when that person (post-diagnosis) is actively pushing every other bugger over the side..

    I greatly appreciate you sticking up for me, P. Thank you. However, I don't think our Ponder appreciates people who question his questionable wisdom so prepare to be informed of your imminent arrival on his IGNORE list (which I imagine is staggeringly huge) but not before he's patronised the crap out of ya and posted another Tolle vid for you to watch)
    I know it's probably non-PC to say this and I'm by all means prepared to be shot down in flames but I can sense elements of Phil in both BB and Ponder; e.g, being in blatant denial and unwilling to accept any help/advice.

    I also agree 100% with Pulisa and feel immense sympathy towards her for being pooh-poohed.

  9. #39
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    Re: Autism

    Quote Originally Posted by Lencoboy View Post
    The NAS are crap? A bit of a sweeping generalisation methinks?

    Surely they would have ceased to exist ages ago if they really were so crap!
    They were very helpful when my son was diagnosed. (I've been to a few of their Autism Shows too and there have been some excellent speakers, especially on female autism)
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  10. #40
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    Re: Autism

    Quote Originally Posted by Lencoboy View Post
    I know it's probably non-PC to say this and I'm by all means prepared to be shot down in flames but I can sense elements of Phil in both BB and Ponder; e.g, being in blatant denial and unwilling to accept any help/advice.
    The difference is that BB and Ponder both have an autism diagnosis. My issue with BB was his/her post-diagnosis attitude (which differed greatly to their 'norm' on here). (An autism diagnosis doesn't give us licence to treat people like shit)

    Ponder was here simply to bore everyone shitless with his 'musings' (And woe betide anyone who tried to stop him)

    The issues on this thread all started because Pulisa was trying to help BB and BB's response was both unnecessary and unpleasant. I felt bad for Pulisa because she's one of the nicest people on this forum, and she has problems of her own to deal with. (Plus, as an autistic, I don't care to see other autistics try and excuse their bad behaviour)

    BB chose not to stick around where he/she may have made a few friends. One of his/her complaints was of not having any friends. Well, attitudes like that are a sure way to make sure that you don't have any, right?

    Similarly, Phil chose to ignore us. More than that, he shut his entire thread down and along with it the many pages of people's time and effort. He was called out on his bigotry towards autistic people, and instead of sticking around to maybe learn something and change his opinion on the spectrum that autism is, he chose his offensive response. Before I placed him on ignore, I saw his comment on his Gambling thread (this thread has since been deleted) but not before he blamed everybody else for his behaviour. It was admin's fault for not locking the thread. It was our fault for 'going off topic', even though I don't consider suggesting autism as a possibility for his numerous issues and difficulties to be 'going off topic'.

    To sympathise with Phil is to enable his behaviour. That's what Ponder did with BB on this thread. (And I don't care if it's NT's doing the enabling or other autistics, it's not acceptable)

    This isn't just about Phil being unwilling to accept advice, Lenco, it's about his prejudice towards autistic people. Ignorance regarding autism I can understand. (I was ignorant about autism until my son was assessed) and Phil might have learnt something about autism (and himself) had he chosen to listen to people instead of throwing his toys out of the pram and then kicking the pram over.
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