....

[Shirley Whirley]

Hi,

I'm sorry for wasting your time, as it's probably nonsense!

I'm 25 years old and currently working as a civil servant as a telephone advisor. It's an extremely hectic surrounding, usually taking on average 80-130 calls a day. There's no selling involved - although there are targets meet, for example an average call time of 200 seconds and of course ensuring I am within my rota'd phone time.

Briefly going into my history, I've suffered with anxiety since around the age of 10 - initially showing by pulling my hair out. Most likely due toy parents separating and my mother's alcohol issues. This later developed into social anxiety and constant worrying thoughts. I have continually been on medication for my depression etc. It's something that I try to learn from and be grateful for the independence I gained from the past.

Back to the present, now working full time with a home and bills to pay. I'm a caring person, loving giving customers what they require and always trying to go the extra mile. Not just customers, but my family too. Seeing as I have no real friends, ensuring my sister, my niece, boyfriend and parents are my biggest priority. Anyway, for some unknown reason over the last 6 months I have been unable to socialise to an extreme level. The worst issue I suffer most with is using the telephone. No, this is not great for someone who's job description is exactly that. Its a constant weight that holds onto me - either embarrassment of not being able to take calls, leaving my house... then again I'm sure as you're reading you're empathising, so I don't really need to go into too much detail. It's an evil, vicious circle... let's just leave it at that.

I'm sorry, I'm trying to get to my point!!! I've been on and off long term sick, coming back from absence in December. I was happy to come back, glad for some normality, happy to see a smiling face or two. Now, that vicious circle has gone it's full course once more. Work have been supportive - only because they had to, really. Following the disability act they could not give me a formal warning. I am given extra breaks. This however is obviously not working for any of us as I'm now going through the same again. I have been off the phone doing odd admin work for 2 days but my manager says I can only have 5 days off before I have to make the choice of:

A. Go on sick - get a formal warning (which they have said they probably won't defer this time round) and halt my chances of other work choices for 12 months.

B. Quit - I don't want to!!!!

C. Go part time - Urr money?!?

D. The magical mental health fairy waves it's magic wand.

I have no clue where to turn without a bad consequence. Worst because of my OWN ACTIONS which I CANNOT HELP. I hate myself for it!! But then maybe I'm some selfish and pitying myself!

There is so much more I could have ranted, but I don't want to bore you plus my fingers are tired...

Thank you for your time and ears.

Breathe...

[.Poppy.]

Have you spoken to anyone about your anxieties? Counselor, therapist, even a family member?

I'm not in the most perfect place to give advice myself - currently going through the motions of fighting my anxiety instead of just letting it happen to me - but I've had two counseling sessions with a really great therapist and they've been very helpful. Sometimes just getting it out makes it feel lighter. In your case, you may be able to pinpoint what happened to cause this sudden fear of talking on the phone and find a way to try and solve it.

Best of luck. Anxiety is nasty in that it is so random and can hit us for any number of reasons...but you can do this.

[unspoken]

Hello. That job sounds stressful for anyone, having to get through calls as quickly as possible. Answering the phone involves uncertainty and a lot of people with anxiety struggle with it. The only thing worse than answering the phone is cold-calling strangers - I spent 2 months doing it and it didn't get any less difficult.

It's really hard to think about changing job when you are already anxious, but it sounds like work is majorly triggering anxiety which is affecting your life outside of work hours. You spend most of your waking time at work so it shouldn't be such a distressing experience. It sounds like you would be better off in an admin role that doesn't involve answering the phone all day, or a customer service role where you had more time to deal with each person. Can you talk through your options with your boyfriend and family? They may be able to support you through this process. It probably feels overwhelming thinking about trying to move job, but trust me, there are much less stressful jobs out there.