Bowel Cancer Worries- tmi

[Lucy1234]

Hey All,

Lately I was triggered with worrying about bowel cancer because my sister was sent for a colonoscopy. She was fine, by the way.

I have always been paranoid about bowel cancer, but have in the past decade only had two occasions with a slight amount of blood- one about 3 years ago (I was 29, 32 now) where I passed a hard stool and may have seen a drop of blood in the toilet after (not sure as it dissolved and didn't colour the water, so it could have been a watery part of the hard stool either, it was light in colour and liquid, so definitely not dried blood). I think because I had a bit of pain I thought I might see blood, might have been my mind playing tricks but not sure.

I think also maybe about six years ago I had diarrhoea that was so bad that during a lot of wiping after I got a couple of specks of blood on toilet paper.

At both these times I felt it was rational that I had a simple explanation for each tiny bit of blood, and that I didn't need to worry or even see my GP. Now my anxiety has flared, I feel like I could have missed a serious illness or cancer. If the symptoms were recent, a doctor's examination might help, but because there is no recent problem, I'm wondering if it will help to see a doctor?

I also think my doctor has decided I'm nuts already, as was in over Christmas panicking over a tiny mole. I'm thinking of just waiting and at my next check up later in the year maybe mentioning to her I was concerned, even though I do have rational explanations for the rare bleeding?

I feel like most people could get by without asking a doctor. I have used paid services online to ask questions to verified doctors before, and even for this, the doctor said that unless it recurred I wouldn't need testing, but maybe I would feel better getting face to face reasssurance? Sorry for rambling, and anybody's thoughts would be appreciated.

[Toots24]

This sounds perfectly normal especially if you've had a difficult bowel movement. It could be piles which can bleed ALOT. If the blood is mixed in with your stool then I would go get it checked out but if it's on the loo roll or in the toilet I wouldn't worry, you can get small tears when you pass difficult stools. If only be a little worried if it was mixed in with the actual stool and it was happening often.

---------- Post added at 16:23 ---------- Previous post was at 16:14 ----------

This is from personal experience, I have... (apologies for the overshare) what my doc calls a 'skin tag' which is kind of like piles but it's just a soft piece of tissue that can get irritated and can tear when constipated, my doctor told me its perfectly normal to get bleeding while going to the loo and it can bleed quite heavily but she said it's like a nose bleed it doesn't affect your blood count or anything it's really superficial and common. Like I said only worry if the blood is inside the stool, even then there's lots of explanations for it, not necessarily cancer but should be checked. I hope this helps you, you seem to mention it's only specks of blood on the loo roll it sounds like a small tear to me, that being said I'm not a doctor, just sharing what my doctor said to me about my similar issues. If in doubt get it checked out

[Lucy1234]

Hi Toots24,

Thank you so much for your kind reply. I am sure there was not blood in the stool as I do know that is a dangerous symptom. I will still mention it to my doctor, but it is so nice to get your reply and hear a voice of reason. There is a chance I have piles but as it has been a rare occurrance I will ask my doctor before thinking of treatment.

I read an article by a doctor saying to think of it as being liked chapped skin, which actually made sense to me.

I've been reading too many different medical sites (I'm sure a lot here are familiar with that unhelpful pass time). Some say if it's brief and connected to constipation/ tearing you can just treat at home, if you're under 40, whilst others give a more scary outlook. I was shocked that someone my sister's age would be given a colonoscopy, but I don't know the particulars of why she was given one as she really didn't want to talk about it (and I don't blame her).

[Toots24]

I googled quite a lot before I bit the bullet and went to see the doctor, I put it off for a long time because I knew they would ask to see it My doctor was really nice though and said she understood but really there was no reason to worry becuause she looks at at least 10 bums per day I was so worried that I would require surgery or an invasive test like a colonoscopy. My doctor said that operations on piles are only considered in particularly severe cases where they are large and affect your life, can't sit down, have extreme difficulty passing stools. My mum is actually a theatre nurse in day surgery and she said the same thing, it's an unpleasant operation and only done as an absolute last resort so if you have piles don't worry about any of that, there's lots of creams out there that do the trick. With regards to a colonoscopy I think those are generally for when your having frequent bowel issues? I really don't think your doc would send you for one with just having the specs of blood and even if she does it's a safe routine procedure.

---------- Post added at 16:47 ---------- Previous post was at 16:39 ----------

I noticed that you said your anxiety was triggered by your sister having a colonoscopy and you wee shocked that she was having this at her age.

You can have a colonoscopy at any age, this is another thing my mum sees on a regular basis, I work with a girl in her early 20's who had one because of stomach issues, it turns out she has IBS and an intolerance to gluten. Its really not a big deal and doesn't mean you'll have something terrible if they suggest doing it.

I recently had a cystoscopy (camera in the bladder) and was so frightened by the whole thing I knew the nurses would need to peel me off the ceiling afterwords! It's just one of these things, I'm sure most of us will have some sort of scope In our life types particularly a colonoscopy and it's nothing to be afraid of

[Lucy1234]

Yeah, I know it's silly but I think the colonoscopy scares me even more than the actual illness. But I have just been blowing it all out of proportion (as usual). In my mind, when a doctor suggests a test, it's like they are saying they think I have cancer. Though my doc has said previously that she thinks my only problem is worry.

Of course, my Mum is also an anxious person, and when I said I was surprised about my sister needing the procedure, she said any time there is the slightest bit of blood, they have to be rigourous with testing. That triggered the whole thing for me as I suddenly thought, oh no, I thought I was okay but really I should have gone straight in for testing. Though keep in mind, unlike your Mum, she is not a trained nurse. My mum has said a few things to me that have triggered an attack- once she said she thought I had fluid retention and that led to a horrible google spiral (as well as feeling self conscious I might just have fat ankles)

I'm always weighing up whether my current worry of the month is worth an extra doctor's visit (I visit every 6 months for contraception anyway). I'm sorry to say I've lost all perspective on the difference between a valid worry and an anxiety spiral.

[Toots24]

I can completely relate to your feeling of wondering if your concern is medically valid or just an overreaction. I've been going through a lot with viral illnesses I feel like I'm always sick, im going through some issues with my tonsils right now and it just won't go away. I'm googling like mad everyday trying to figure out why it's not going away, my doctor says its viral - story of my life! I get myself in a state wondering if my concerns are valid or if it's my anxiety and then I get anxiety worrying that I'm not worrying enough if that makes sense? Like what if I'm really unwell and need to be seen to quickly but because I have anxiety I'm trying to suppress it. It's a 'boy who cried wolf' kind of situation.


It must be hard when your mum is also a worrier, I'm lucky in that I don't have anyone in my family that worries like me and have never had anyone suggest I have a medical issue that needs seeing to. I have the opposite problem, i feel like my mum never listens to my concerns and always puts it down to anxiety or over reaction to mild illnesses that I get. I feel like she doesn't listen to me and doesn't take me seriously which is very frustrating.

It's simply not true that the doctor would recommend rigorous testing for the spots of blood you have, from what you described I'm almost certain that your doctor will not be too worried about it.

[Lucy1234]

That's exactly how I feel! Worrying I'm not worrying enough. A viral thing would be a huge trigger for me. I'd be wondering what virus it was, googling absolutely everything. I know exactly what you mean about worrying you'll miss something by dismissing your worries. That's pretty much how I felt when I started to panic. Instead of feeling proud of keeping my worries in check, I felt like maybe I'd signed my own death warrant

I do know her advice is totally overwrought because I asked my doc last visit, as my Mum had told me I should be on folic acid as any woman of childbearing age should be even if they don't want kids immediately. And my doc said very sensibly that it was a load of old cobblers and to come to her if I actually wanted kids in the future and she would recommend something.

I feel really silly as I haven't seen even a spot of blood of that kind on paper or in the bowl in 3 years (I've panicked over the kind related to the pill in that time though, again my doc said it was fine). I can just imagine her face if I go in asking about a tiny drop of blood from 3 years ago. I've contemplated using a different GP, to ask some of my crazier questions to. I actually think my current one is very good- a bit like your Mum, maybe, she just cuts through my anxiety. But I worry she will stop taking me seriously if I keep coming in over every little thing.

One book I got that I think helps a little is 'Stop Obsessing: Overcoming your obsessions and compulsions,' by Edna B Foa. I'm no advert for it, but it does have some helpful tricks for getting on top of obsessive negative thinking.

[Toots24]

It's good to know there's someone else out there who's thinks the same way as me. I don't have a huge amount of support, people really struggle to understand what I'm going through.

Your doctor is right, I don't mean any disrespect to your mum but try not to take everything she says in regards to your health as gospel, speak to your doctor instead. You should tell your doctor how you feel and tell her it would make you feel better if you could just ask her your health questions and ask for them to be taken seriously. In saying that though I think the road to recovery is to be able to live life without the constant need for reassurance and to be able to live without having these irrational thoughts. I'm no where near this stage and I feel like I won't be able to get there until I get back to full health, you see I don't usually have health anxiety, I have had general anxiety disorder for about 8 years and in July last year i had a kidney infection which triggered the health anxiety and ever since then I've been worrying about my health it hasn't helped that I keep catching virus's and infections and have pretty much been unwell, my immune system is probably low due to all the stress

Thanks for the book recomonation I've actually never read any books on mental health but I'll maybe give it a try and see if I get some useful tips for dealing with my anxiety.

Have you tried any medication or therapy for your anxiety?

[Lucy1234]

I haven't tried therapy, and actually my doc gave me the name of a woman I could see for CBT, but I haven't gotten myself together to go to her yet. I keep thinking, after this next crisis is sorted I will go (but of course, there is always another crisis).

Yes, it's that need for reassurance that I wish I could shake. It makes me feel like I'm not in control. It's funny because even though I do want to be taken seriously, I actually think my doc's attitude is better for my mental health than if she did take me very seriously. A few years ago I saw a doc and told her I was worried as my granddad had died from cancer and her face went gray- that was the moment I went into full blown panic (and I got a test and was fine). But I think that was the point where my health anxiety got out of control- once I had been that far down the rabbit hole once, it was easy to get that anxious again over other things. She was younger and nice but less experienced, whereas this doc has a bit of a seen it all before attitude and is older, which I think I need.

I'm not diagnosed but I definitely have other sorts of anxiety too and probably have done since childhood. I found mindfulness helped a bit actually, have you tried that?

I think my problem is once the anxiety abates I don't keep up the self care (mindfulness, writing exercises from that book) that were helping to keep it at bay, as I think I'm better.

[Toots24]

I tried CBT but I didn't like it at all, I didn't like the environment, I didn't like the physiologist and I didn't find the sessions particularly useful. My doc is referring me to a psychiatrist so I'm hoping I'll find it better this time.

I have tried mindfulness and i really like the idea of it, I feel like it would be really helpful but I find it really difficult to get into it and to quiet my mind, I'm too all over the place. I do go back to it now and then and keep trying. I generally find my own unconventional ways of dealing with it more useful. Honestly I feel like a bit of a lost cause sometimes even my doc says she doesn't know what to do with me, I didn't like the CBT and I tried antidepresnts which gave me awful side effects and made me feel a lot worse so i gave up on those. I'm really hoping this psychiatrist will help me though.

Yeah it's tough with doctors, you're right I think it's good to have someone firm but at the same time I would be worried that they wouldn't take me seriously and miss something. I feel that way in general even with friends, family and my colleagues I feel like no one believes me when I say I'm unwell and they just think oh she's a hypochondriac she's just exaggerating and I get so stressed that I am really unwell and I'll not get the help I need because no one will listen.