Fear of being alone

[hollygirl]

Hey Emma,

You are right I need to face it. tomorrow is the big day and I am a wreck. My sister says I can go and stay with her for a couple of days and I am in two minds because that will just be putting it off!

My therapist says use support but also make sure I have some time alone - hard to do in a way because for me it will either be nine hours alone while hubby at work or a whole day at my sisters.

My mum gets back next week and she lives around the corner from me but is very active and always doing stuff so then I suppose I can be exposed to it graudually - as in maybe spending a few hours with my mum to break the day up but spending time alone too till it becomes nothing again. This whole thing has shown me how your emotions can come out of nowhere and then suddenly bang - there is something that freaks you out that a week before did not! So strange.

Holly,x

[Wee-Mee]

Oh..this is a big big fear of mine.

I am so dependant on others it is rediculous

I feel like if everyone that I love just vanished I literally would just die on the spot like,I wouldn't know how to fend for myself..infact I DON'T know how to fend for myself.

This is a big big issue that I am trying to deal with with my cbt therpapist but I have bpd also which doesn't help at all

[C-47]

I haven't been here in months but suddenly Im really depressed and lonely. I met a girl 6 months ago in a chatroom and we fell in love even though we have never met. It would be another 2 yrs before we could be in the same country and live closer. Things were going so well and we had so much in common. We both wanted the same things and knew we would be perfect together. Suddenly she told me last nigth that the connection was gone between us and she didnt love me like that anymore. It was so horrible and I felt so numb. I started to get suicidal tendancies again and they are soooo painful now. I've never been in a relationship before and I thought this would be my first and last one. I wanted to spend my life with her. She was really upset and sorry about the whole thing. I feel so lonely, I thought I found someone who understood me and accepted me for who I am but it feels like that will never ever happen. I feel as if I will always be lonely and never have anything nice to look forward to in the future.