I went for a regular eye checkup at a leading hospital in India and I got diagnosed with retinal holes in both eyes on June 2015 and at that time never had many floaters just normal under 20 in both eyes and no eye flashes, doctors did inform me about floaters and flashes and when to seek help. But I got scared on reading about retinal holes and detachment.

Went to a different hospital near my native place and was advised laser barrage. Was very scared and emotional had to unwillingly undergo the laser barrage in both of the eyes. The hospital where I did my laser was also reputed so thought I would be safe.

But slowly the floaters started increasing and went to the same hospital again and complained them that floaters are increasing, they dilated my eye and informed me that everything is fine and come back after six months.

Later I moved to the work location and saw these floaters increasing went to the first hospital and the doctor who checked me initially said I had taken calculated risk and that I am fine no need to worry about floaters.

But after that day I had anxiety issues fearing that I might lose vision and became very stressed and suffered head aches, panic attacks and insomnia. Got admitted at a hospital for sleep disorder and was informed that I have health anxiety disorder. Was advised to take Dulot and Zapiz.

In the mean time personal issues plagued my emotions and was put in a situation where I had to marry. This triggered my anxiety further and increased floaters to 100s. Went to the hospital again they said I have a new hole and have to do laser again in one eye. Did the laser treatment. Later I had to marry tried to avoid but got married after consulting with the doctor that I can marry as all the holes are well barraged.

Now after marriage I feel more stressed fearing something bad might happen as now I have dry eye, sensitivity to light, seeing halos around lights,pulsating sensation in the eyes, along with increased floaters and flashes in left eye once in a day for the past five months. Went to ophthalmologist recently and found my vision is 6/6 and after dilated exam he said retinal holes are barraged and not to worry over it.

But now my conscious is killing me that I have ruined a girl's life, having a guilt feeling, she is taking good care of me understands me well, loves me and she does not know that I am suffering from this health anxiety about about retinal holes. I had informed her before marriage that I had underwent laser treatment for my eyes but did not give the full picture.

Seeing the increasing symptoms and worsening I am scared that something bad will happen to me and constantly thinking of what might happen to my wife's future, my parent's future (my mother is above knee amputee). I am only imagining negative thoughts and fear increases as the floaters are always visible irrespective of where I see/look.

I am caught in a vicious loop thinking over and over about floaters, my eyes and worst fear of putting everyone my wife, parents and dear at risk. I just got married recently and worried over that I made a mistake marrying and spoiling a girl's life.Guilt feeling is killing and also suicidal thoughts arise.
Don't know where to go, what to do and financially I am not strong enough to support my health condition.

Met a Psychiatrist finally she has asked me to research on CBT therapy.

Please anyone can you help me get out of the vicious cycle.

Regards, Vinoth