Terrified of Citalopram due to side effects

[karenp]

Hi, I have take Citalopram three times before and each time felt terrible for weeks until I eventually settled. My doctor used to give me either Lorazepam or Zopiclone so I could calm down a bit but my current doctor has given me 6 misley Lorazepam pills.
Has any one started off by taking just 5mg of Cit? My doctor has put me straight on 20mg and I know I will go absolutely sky high if I take that dose as I have always started at 10mg and by the time I have increased, I have ended up at A&E with panic attacks.
Three years ago, when I got divorced I was put on Escitalopram but it never worked for me though as I took only a quarter of a tablet I managed to cope. Absolutely terrified as I seem to get every side effect going but it is the panic that frightens me most.

[Jem21]

Can you not cut the 20 in half and start on 10? I have a pill cutter and I did that when my doc started me on 20 as I get really bad side effects even on the 10. I did 10, the 15 then stayed at 20 for 10 months and now just gone to 30. Had bad side effects with all of them but I made it through and so will you. I know they are horrible but just keep telling yourself they are only side effects and they will pass.

[moonspirit]

hi karen
i was similar to jem i got a pill cutter and cut them into quarters and just took a little throughout the day... it made me feel a lot better just knowing i had control over how much i took and each day i got braver!! just the thought of that little tablet made me go into full blown panic.... but these days i always say thank you little pill u help make me feel so much better... i think we fear the unknown and expect all the side effects going which of course if like me i ended up with them all but looking back i think i brought most of it on myself !!! good luck with them and i hope the side effects are not too bad for you x

[karenp]

Thanks so much, I have taken Cit 3 times before which how I know how badly it effects me for a good few weeks and have always needed benzo help. I was shocked my doc put me straight on 20mg as even when I started on 10mg the anxiety increase was horrible, so 20mg's would send me crazy. Three years ago, my GP tried me on ESCITALOPRAM as he said it was a newer version of Citalopram but it never worked at all. I was on Lorazepam the entire three years unable to give it up because my anxiety never got any better, where as on regular Citalopram, I was perfect after about 4 months and was able to taper off my benzos with no problem at all. All I took then was ther Cit and never had a days panic or depression unless I missed a dose and then I'd maybe feel it a little. Sadly my doctor took me off. I so regret letting him as I was so perfect and now have to go through the terrible start up again but I found by cutting the Escitalopram, which is still another SSRI, I managed well going up every two or so weeks. I was on 40mgs in the end of regular Citalopram then cut down to 20mg when I was truly well and was perfect as I have said. Why oh why did my GP take me off it as I have never been able to cope without medication.
It's crazy how one tiny pill can make us feel so crap hey. I know these side effects will pass and the first few weeks will be hardest but it's so bloomin frightening. Thanks again guys xxxxx

---------- Post added at 08:36 ---------- Previous post was at 08:25 ----------

When I cut Escitalopram into quarters |I never had any panic attacks, I did get anxiety and very flat times but coped, so will do the same with Citalopram. I have a few Lorazepam pills but my GP had me on it three years and now has suddenly decided it is addictive, you are telling me, I was taken off last June cold turkey and went through wd hell! I tried explaining I have only ever takenit for about 4 months when on Citalopram though as that particular SSRI has worked 3 previous times, nothing else seems to. I have taken the Escitalopram (Lexapro), Mirtazapine which made me suicidal, Trazadone, Sertraline but they all failed. I know I need to get back on Citalopram (Celexa) as it is a wonder drug for me once it kicks in but my doctor told me I'd be well in two weeks and the other three times I took it, it took more like 4 months. He really hasn't a clue but the other docs at my health centre are even more rubbish with mental health.
I am still seething at him putting me on 20mg on the Citalopram after I told him it causes me panic attacks upon start up, yet he put me straight on a high dose.....he really does not have a bloody clue!!! I know my own body and though it will take longer to work chopping the pill into a quarter, at least I should find it easier.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Karen,

I think I've seen others start at very low doses and some even asked for the liquid version to go from really small doses. I do know that Kimberley2 had was very afraid of starting any med and when she did her GP was very happy for her to start on very low doses of her Sertraline and she got onto it quite easily from what I recall.

I think you are doing the right thing. Many people on here have said their GP's start them on 10mg now so I guess those GP's have caught on to how these meds can affect us. I went straight on 20mg and it was a hard experience, if I knew then what I do now from talking to all you guys on here I would have cut them in half.

[karenp]

I never knew there was a liquid form which would be better as you could measure the proper dose out. I am going on 5mg not even ten as I know how shit these pills make me feel. Having said that apart from a rotten headache, I feel a lot better since I have been totally off everything for about three weeks now. I had a major blip last week and spent the night in hospital feeling suicidal but think it was down to Mirtazapine withdrawal which hit me hard last time they tried me on it and it made me a total mess. Some counsellor I saw suggested me going back on it as he blamed my divorce not the pills, saying Mirtazapine is the best AD on the market. But for me it just messes me completely up! So it is time to take the plunge and go back on Citalopram that previously got me well 3 times as I mentioned up there somewhere. It's just the heightened anxiety and panic attacks I cannot live with and my GP had me on Lorazepam for three years but suddenly thinks it is addictive, what a dick head...I know it is but he was quite willing to let me stay on it 3 years knowing so! I have 6 pills, I was even on a double dose for three years. He was on holiday when I had to see another doctor and she made a fuss so think my own doctor may have got into trouble for silly nilly handing me out 56 Lorazepam every 4 weeks. He really used to just want me in and out of his surgery but they helped me get on Citalopram the other three times and I was able to taper off on my own after about 10 weeks without one wd effect. After three years on it, I have been through hell as they took me off cold turkey which I could sue them for really!!!!
I was given the Lorazepam three years ago to get onto ESCITALOPRAM (Lexapro) but it just never ever worked, though cutting the pill into quarters I only had one panic attack when my son had terrible toothache one night and he screamed all night until I could get him to the dentist the next day, other than that, I just felt flat sometimes and headachey and a little nervous. But found going up very slowly eased the side effects so am hoping the same will apply to restarting Citalopram. One thing is for sure...I am NEVER coming off it again if it works a fourth time,lol. Thanks guys for your replies xxx.