Hope this isn't too long, but here goes....
All my life I've been picked on, but I've always been quite strong and answered back in an adult fashion, however, todays 'pick pick' has topped the lot.
I'm adopted and have been all my life. I am in touch with my birth mother and although we are not 'mother and daughter' things are OK.
Story ... My son is six and friendly with an adopted family. We live doors apart. I spoke to the parents recently about their childrens adoption and they said we'll talk another time - walls have ears!! I accepted this - but they had still heard my story. I knew my situation wasn't the same as theirs and accepted this - in fact I thought no more of it.
Today one of the children confided in me, saying 'I'm adopted'. I responded with 'Oh right' Then she said she'd been bullied because of it - I responsded with 'you should really be telling your mum and dad'. She said she had. Then she started talking about her past life - not too much, but I responded with 'you are special to the parents you have now and they love you very much. That was all the conversation we had. However, I went to drop some things off the kids have left behind. The father, instead of being polite, came at me very intimidatingly saying how I'd 'bloody annoyed him' by telling his kid that I'd met my birthmother and how life as an adoptee only got better and that she should seek out her family. He basically went into one. I wouldn't mind but I said nothing of the sort - in fact I told him only his wife knew the full story about me - not his kids and explained the whole conversation.
He wouldn't let me speak and just talked down to me like I was a 10 year old or someone who had harmed his kids. I thought he was going to tell me off for giving them grapes inbetween meals!!
I then spoke to a neighbour, who suggested I phone and ask to meet him and his wife to sort this out once and for all, however, he said the matter was over and done with, he believed 'my version of events' and that was the matter over with goodbye.
Its hard enough for me suffering from panic attacks and depression, plus social phobia. I have to log everything even going to Tesco. I keep crying because I feel I have done something so wrong - yet I havn't. In my opinion he should have asked for a chat and we talk like adults, but he treated me like a 10 year old telling me off. And god knows what his wife is thinking of me. Seriously though I did not mention anything about my past to this child.
Just after dark I saw a figure bobbing around at my front door. I went and had a look and his child was standing there apologising for getting me in to trouble. I just smiled and said 'foget it - over and done with lets not mention anything to do with the subject again' The child said she had questions - I said ask your mum and dad.
I'm so upset, because I never said what I'm accused of and I certainly wouldn't intentionally hurt anybody or stand on their toes - yet this man treated me like a criminal. I know the situation is very very sensitive.
This is just one reason I trust no one and feel isolated and that everyone hates me - people see me, see I'm petite and think they can pick pick pick and speak to me like a little kid - I'm 37.
I handled the situation well, but it just makes me think, if I get this over adoption, what if a child was to make other false accusations. Bear in mind this child is 11 and I said no to her watching my sons spiderman video which is a 12 rated because I wasn't sure if parents would approve. I'm not a bad person. These do gooders are nothing but bullies and are threated by the real nice 'chilled out' people like me - well I need to big myself up right now!!
Thanks for listening, but as a person with panic attacks, etc., I don't need to be spoken to like a piece of poo. I've even been careful in wording this post - you never know do you ....
Lilac
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