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  1. #1

    New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    Hello everyone.
    I will try to be as honest and forthcoming as I can. I'll start by saying I have once more needed to write on this forum a few years back when I had a nervous breakdown down and kept stressing about health issues. Therapy and citalopram and people on this forum helped me deal with it and I was back on my feet.
    Now I have a new role starting this Monday and I am getting the jitters. Which I shouldnt. Common sense says :
    1. you had for job offers and you took this one. if you weren't good in that you do you wouldn't have four job offers. You also took this one because you wanted it.
    2. if you don't like it you can leave and find something else. the goal is to be happy and calm.
    3. wherever you worked people liked you. it is highly likely it will be the same.
    4. you left your old job because of a few reasons. you want something better, something more to your liking. nostalgia isn't it. This job seemed to tick all the right boxes on paper. So it might very well be the one.
    5. you have gotten a a bachelors a masters and a PhD through hard work. you like what you do and if you do not like it you can always go.

    So there. Common sense is my ally. And yet I am scared. Not nervous but scared and anxious. I feel that I am regressing back to a childhood age reliving my first day at school.
    I am more experienced with anxiety now that I was 4 years ago.
    And yet I still haven't found a way to fully control it.
    How do we stop being afraid? How do we enjoy what should be a pleasant experience and a chance to a new beginning?
    Advice? Mindfulness, meditation, any sites or tutorials to further calm me down?
    Thank you all.
    Ironically, it is good to be back here. Fear is the bad side of it, but writing to people who understand me already makes me feel better.
    All my love to you all,
    Evan.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,220

    Re: New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    It's normal to be nervous for a new job. Of course us with anxiety tend to amp up that nervousness to a whole new level

    My advice, which is what I tell myself whenever I start a new job, is to just make it through one day at a time. That very first day you probably will just be settling in, will be shown the ropes, meet some people, etc. Doubtful they'll expect much from you - which can take some pressure off! Maybe decide to treat yourself after for getting through that first day - go to your favorite restaurant or have some ice cream or something

    Then, the next day. And the next day. Take things one thing at a time. If you're super nervous, one hour at a time and take a quick break hourly (if able) even if it's just to grab a drink of water or run to the restroom.

    As time goes on you will become more comfortable in the role. I always tell myself that the first month is probably going to suck, stress-wise. If after that month you're still in a state, it may be worth evaluating why. But just make it through that crummy period and you'll be fine, I'm sure

    For what it's worth, I've worked a total of...four jobs (I'm still a student, so it's a large number for someone like me!) and only one have I hated so much that I dreaded going to work every day.

    Best of luck and congrats on the offer!
    __________________

    I still go a little bit crazy sometimes...
    but now I don't stay near as long.


    [Mostly] managing anxiety, HA, and depression.

  3. #3

    Re: New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    Quote Originally Posted by .Poppy. View Post
    It's normal to be nervous for a new job. Of course us with anxiety tend to amp up that nervousness to a whole new level

    My advice, which is what I tell myself whenever I start a new job, is to just make it through one day at a time. That very first day you probably will just be settling in, will be shown the ropes, meet some people, etc. Doubtful they'll expect much from you - which can take some pressure off! Maybe decide to treat yourself after for getting through that first day - go to your favorite restaurant or have some ice cream or something

    Then, the next day. And the next day. Take things one thing at a time. If you're super nervous, one hour at a time and take a quick break hourly (if able) even if it's just to grab a drink of water or run to the restroom.

    As time goes on you will become more comfortable in the role. I always tell myself that the first month is probably going to suck, stress-wise. If after that month you're still in a state, it may be worth evaluating why. But just make it through that crummy period and you'll be fine, I'm sure

    For what it's worth, I've worked a total of...four jobs (I'm still a student, so it's a large number for someone like me!) and only one have I hated so much that I dreaded going to work every day.

    Best of luck and congrats on the offer!
    Thank you poppy. It is good advice. Let's see if I can manage it

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    768

    Re: New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    This is all quite normal, Evan. I am always TERRIFIED when starting a new job. If it is any consolation, the dreaded anticipation is much worse than the actual event. The endless negative possibilities evaporate once I'm in there and reality takes hold. Just try and accept you'll feel crap until you can get started and begin to make a proper judgement about the place. As Poppy says, you usually get an easier time at first with more expected once you've learnt your way round a bit. I always hate the first few weeks, even months until I feel I can make a valid contribution myself and not be too dependent on colleagues. When you're a bit more settled it's easier to make a better judgement on how it's going and whether or not you'll like it. I always try and remember the fact that THEY CHOSE ME as well, so they must like me and rate my skills and abilities!

  5. #5

    Re: New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyke View Post
    This is all quite normal, Evan. I am always TERRIFIED when starting a new job. If it is any consolation, the dreaded anticipation is much worse than the actual event. The endless negative possibilities evaporate once I'm in there and reality takes hold. Just try and accept you'll feel crap until you can get started and begin to make a proper judgement about the place. As Poppy says, you usually get an easier time at first with more expected once you've learnt your way round a bit. I always hate the first few weeks, even months until I feel I can make a valid contribution myself and not be too dependent on colleagues. When you're a bit more settled it's easier to make a better judgement on how it's going and whether or not you'll like it. I always try and remember the fact that THEY CHOSE ME as well, so they must like me and rate my skills and abilities!
    Thank you. That is also a wonderful thought to have. It would be really helpful if you guys and girls dropped me a message or two for me to read tomorrow during my lunch break. I guess feeling I am not alone in this would be helpful. Not sure but I think so at least. I am learning to cope with this as I go

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    1,646

    Re: New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    I start another new job tomorrow. As I do agency work, I start new jobs quite frequently lol.
    Last week I got lost driving to the interview, it took me nearly 2 hours to do a 25 minute journey. I made it though and git the job .
    Good luck for tomorrow

  7. #7

    Re: New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Phuzella View Post
    I start another new job tomorrow. As I do agency work, I start new jobs quite frequently lol.
    Last week I got lost driving to the interview, it took me nearly 2 hours to do a 25 minute journey. I made it though and git the job .
    Good luck for tomorrow
    Haha cool. Thank you. Good luck to you as well

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    263

    Re: New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    Congratulations on your new role. You must have impressed at interview to have been offered it so people already like you and think you will fit in. Nerves / anxiety are normal for anyone starting a new job, and I know people that don't have anxiety issues that have felt like this. Remember you common sense points and that you will be trained and shown how systems work, don't expect to learn it all on day one, give yourself time to learn it, I always say it can take up to three months to learn a job and be confident in it. Good luck and let us all know how it went

    Clare

  9. #9

    Re: New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Chocolateface View Post
    Congratulations on your new role. You must have impressed at interview to have been offered it so people already like you and think you will fit in. Nerves / anxiety are normal for anyone starting a new job, and I know people that don't have anxiety issues that have felt like this. Remember you common sense points and that you will be trained and shown how systems work, don't expect to learn it all on day one, give yourself time to learn it, I always say it can take up to three months to learn a job and be confident in it. Good luck and let us all know how it went

    Clare
    Thank you Clare.i actually plan on writing them down and look at them before I enter the office tomorrow.
    Thank you your support is super helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,220

    Re: New job on Monday - stress stress stress. Help me fight it. Thanks :)

    No idea on the time difference, but how did it go?
    __________________

    I still go a little bit crazy sometimes...
    but now I don't stay near as long.


    [Mostly] managing anxiety, HA, and depression.

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