My Citalopram Journey

[Jem21]

Sorted things out with my partner and slept quite well but woke up about half 6 to anxiety this morning :-( Managed to calm the huge anxiety down and now it's just buzzing in the background. Have a very heavy head, nose and ears this morning and i just want to lay down with my eyes closed, not really tired but feel the need to lay down and shut my eyes and this is when i start winding myself up as i don't want to do this, i want to feel ok and get on with my day. This is what leads me to googling because if i can find out what is causing this then i can fix it, i know i'm not a doctor though and i change my mind over what it could be, one minute i think sinus, then allergy, then jaw and dental problems, or even just anxiety. I know i need to stop going round in all these circles but i just don't know what the answer is. I'm caught in a vicious circle.

I'm taking my son and his friend to a huge trampoline park in Doncaster this afternoon with my mum so i'm going to make myself get up and have a shower and wash my hair and look nice and keep as busy as i can. Still think i may need an increase for the anxiety and agitation but if i'm getting this tired after 6 weeks on 30 i'm not sure if that would make it worse, and if it is the cit causing the jaw problems will it make that worse.
Questions questions and i ask myself these hundreds of times a day!!!
I'm quite a rational, laid back person so it still amazes me that i do this to myself.
Right... Lets give today a go!!!

[Suziewuzie]

How are you feeling today Jem?
I can relate to so much of what you say! I know what you mean about the headaches/tiredness etc just make you want to go & lie down, and I too ask myself the same questions over and over all day and then end up googling myself into a frenzy!
I have put myself back on Citalopram after my horrible cold turkey experience, just want my poor brain to have a bit of stability now

[Jem21]

Hey Suzie, i thought you were going onto mirt?

I'm going back to doctors, i'm all over the place with it at the minute and after 7 weeks on the increase i was expecting more. The no feelings thing did pass for me hun so if you get that again it does pass. xx

[Jaysmd]

Keep us updated on your doctor visit Jem

[Jem21]

Not got the appointment yet... Am there tomorrow to have the bandages changed from my surgery so will make one then. My partner has said he will come with me and i'm going to write everything down first as i always come out and think 'bugger, didn't mention that.' I've got a feeling he will increase me to 40mg and i'm really worried about doing this as i've had such a hard 7 weeks from upping to the 30 that i don't know if i can face all that again to maybe feel the same. I actually feel today like i did the very first day when i went to the doctors and asked to increase. I've been though increased anxiety, agitation, tight chest, trembling, sweating, stupid tired phases, emotional blunting and manic hyper with racing thoughts... And at the end of all that i feel the same as the beginning. I do seem to be controlling the anxiety slightly better, i've felt like i have been about to go full on panic mode a few times over the last few days and i haven't so i guess that's something.
Got an appointment at the dentist on Friday as i think some of it is because of my jaw and possibly my bite is out and that is causing me to feel headaches, heavy headed, jaw ache and ear ache... I just don't know anymore, i feel like a broken record and i'm even doing my own head in.

You are at docs soon aren't you Jay?

[Jaysmd]

I always write down what I'm experiencing the morning of my appointment because I know I will get anxious while in there and just draw blanks. Then I get angry with myself when I have walked out and realise I forgot to mention important points.
From my experience with past ad's... there is a magical dose, getting there is the hard part, just like you I fear the side effects and it's all I have been thinking about and what has been consuming me this week before my appointment tomorrow. I know I will be increased and I know after 7 weeks it's probably what I need to get closer to where I want to be.
The three times I was on paxil I need a higher dosage each time. The first time I was right as rain on 20mg, the next time I need to reach 30mg to get to a good place,the third time I got to 40mg before I felt benefit from it. Unfortunately it completely pooped out after that and I really had no other option but to change

[Jem21]

I've been the same on cit.... first time was 10, next time was 20, then 20 again, then 25, and now this time i'm on 30.
Stopped a couple of Anxiety attacks today, just been the normal anxiety all day. Feel very flushed this afternoon with that mild headache all day and on and off agitation! The only time i feel calm is when i am laid down with my head supported and i can close my eyes.

Hope docs goes ok for you, keep me posted.

[Suziewuzie]

Hey Suzie, i thought you were going onto mirt?

I'm going back to doctors, i'm all over the place with it at the minute and after 7 weeks on the increase i was expecting more. The no feelings thing did pass for me hun so if you get that again it does pass. xx

I took one dose of Mirt, slept for almost 16 hours and then was struggling to open my eyes all day, couldn't drive or go anywhere because I was so sleepy! I'm sure it would get better if I stuck to it but I couldn't live like that while I waited to adjust. My partners little boy sleeps over at our house a lot & I'd be too scared I wouldn't wake up or wouldn't be able to drive if there was an emergency.

So, after 5 days OFF the citalopram suddenly everyone started asking me why I'd stopped taking it because they'd noticed a big difference in me. So I just got straight back on it, and I'm sticking to it now because my body has had enough ups & downs.

[Jem21]

Well were all here for you Suzie and we'll all get through this! I hate the tiredness that's one of the worst for me! It's all just bubbling away under the surface at the minute and I feel like it could all kick off at any time, although it hasn't! Maybe as Jay said, I just need to find the magic dose although there is no way I'm doing another 10mg increase. If doc does increase the dose then I'm going to discuss going up 5 or he needs to give me something to help. I'm going to be firm lol.

[Jaysmd]

Do yours come in capsules or tablet form?