I'm going to meet my boyfriend's friends for the first time. I just want to run away

[marycc]

I suffer from social anxiety and I feel like I don't really have any social skills, so I'm extremely nervous about tomorrow.
Tomorrow it's my boyfriend's master thesis defense and I'm going to meet his friends for the first time and I don't know how to start and keep conversation with them, or what I should say to them. Also, I know that at least two of them think negatively of me, because my boyfriend told me so when we started dating. They thought I wasn't trustworthy because I kept giving "false expecatations" to my (current) boyfriend and then I'd come back to my ex. This happened several times. This happened because my ex would threaten me, that he would kill himself and would also do me wrong if I left him, and I was too weak to get away from him, I was under his control because I was afraid and felt guilty, but of course, my ex didn't tell them about this so they think I'm just a mean person, they don't know the reasons behind my actions.

Anyway... I'm really scared. I'm also afraid that I might end up engaging in my usual "safety behaviour" and start texting or calling someone, to avoid the people around me, I'll pretend that I'm busy to avoid interaction. And of course, if I do this, they'll surely think I'm not nice, maybe they'll even think I'm rude.

Anyway...I'm looking for some helpful advice and tips.

Thanks in advance

[lilxe]

Hi there

I'm not surprised you have your guards up a little when your boyfriend has told you that they think negatively of you. Someone has made a harsh and unfair judgement based upon something your haven't even done so it is natural that you feel defensive and they will feel rather foolish in the future when they realize they have misjudged you. When you are in the situation, do not try to be anything to prove yourself to others, there's nothing wrong with being quiet in social situations you don't necessarily have to initiate conversation but respond to others when they speak to you and if you feel you want to have your say in a conversation, say it, just be yourself.

I hope everything goes smoothly for you

xxx