So.. this has been crippling me for a few weeks now.

Basically I have been losing weight, sleeping too much, struggling to cope with day to day life because of a mistake I made a few years ago.

I split up with a girlfriend I loved and life spiraled out of control. Lost my job, started self harming, got drunk, everything you could imagine self destructive wise, I did it.

I was close to someone who is distantly related to me, she helped me through it just by being there.

Problem is it started getting sexual, never had sex or anything like that. It was just a fantasy we had between us I think. We talked about it but nothing went through.

The bad bit here is I was 25 and she was 16. Thinking about it now makes me feel like I've done something so wrong. I did nothing illegal but I feel like I have. I feel like I need to hand myself in to the police or end my life.

I just got too close to someone who helped me throughout a bad time.

The only thing that keeps me going is that we still have a good friendship, keep in touch and she even invited me to her babies Christening (she has since had a baby and is getting married this year)

But what if she's doing faking her kindness? As I have OCD, alsorts of thoughts are going through my mind.

I can't move on with my life and frankly, I don't believe I should be allowed to. I feel rotten.