Day 27 struggling

[dan1991]

Hi everyone

So I've tried my best to remain positive but I'm at my wits end.
I'm on day 27 of 20mg and feel lower than ever.
I can't believe how up and down I am. I have cried twice today already and it's not even 12 o clock. I think the tablets are making me more depressed.

I don't know what to do.. I don't know whether to ring the doctors and ask for an emergency appointment or try and ring the mental health and ask for an emergency councilling session.
I'm really struggling, I don't think the tablets are doing Anything , I think the positive moments are all my doing.. And when I do feel positive I am still obsessed with thinking about anxiety. Nothing takes my mind off it..
I feel light headed all the time, constantly worrying, racing thoughts, hopeless lonely feelings.
I am really really trying my best but I am sick of feeling like absolute shite.

I know day 27 is still early but surely I should be seeing SOME lasting improvements? I don't know.

[Suziewuzie]

Hi Dan, sorry you're having a crap day.
I don't want to be all "Hang on in there!" With the tablets because I appreciate they aren't for everyone, but I just want you to know that this is EXACTLY how I felt.
At day 30 I went to my GP and said I don't want to take them any more, I'm getting depressed when I've never been depressed before and even though my anxiety is slightly better, I feel like that's all down to me.
So perhaps this is something that everyone experiences after the first month?
If you can get an emergency counselling session I would go for it. I found my counsellor actually knew more about my medication than my GP and I felt better about it after talking it through with her x

[dan1991]

How are you feeling now suzie? You are into week 5 aren't you?

[Suziewuzie]

I don't want to scare you but after day 30 I stopped taking it and I got really bad. Like, twitching and convinced I was goung crazy bad, so if you decide to stop it pleeeeease taper off no matter what your GP says!
I'm a few days over week 5 now & generally feel OK. I've been off work since this all began so I feel like it's hard to say because I know that's effecting my mood a lot.
I am still anxious, mostly for absolutely no reason whatsoever, but I don't feel as depressed now as I did a couple of weeks ago, and I still manage to go out and do things which is an improvement since this all started.
I'm hopeful
I'm only on 10mg so don't know if maybe I've escaped a lot of the side effects that people complain of.

[dan1991]

I feel my situation is perhaps worse because (I don't know if you have heard of it) but I have had many failed attempts at trying '<name removed by admin>'.
And in the book it teaches you about how medication can be counter productive in anxiety recovery.
So in the back of my mind I have niggling thoughts that I'm doing the wrong thing by taking tablets, yet <name removed by admin> didn't work at curing my anxiety?
It feels like a lose lose situation.
It also tells you that talking about symptoms and visiting websites only perpetuates it aswell.

I'm just disheartened this hell is suffocating me again when 2 months ago I was a recovered sufferer and my world has caved in again because of one stupid stupid mistake I made on a night out.

[dan1991]

I've force myself out of the house now going into town. I've got a week off work (some holiday lol) and feeling much calmer and content.
These tablets are really one extreme to the other!! I'm all over the place !

[Suziewuzie]

Yeah I still find I have moments where I feel GREAT and then a few hours later I feel rotten again. I just went into work to arrange returning next week and felt great seeing everybody, and now an hour later I feel crap again!

[Jaysmd]

It took me just over 6 weeks for those feelings to lift. Kept trying to drive myself to emergency

[Suziewuzie]

Yeah I've ignored the "You should start to feel the benefit after a month" talk and accepted it's going to be a couple of months. I feel like it stops me from thinking too much about how I'm feeling each day.

[dan1991]

I've accepted today that the tablets just aren't doing anything for me right now.
Hopefully I should start feeling some benefits soon. Just got to keep riding the waves I guess.. What other choice do we have ?