You're not alone, I am also very aware of myself and am questioning and analysing everything, even simple everyday things, I keep thinking how we are all just atoms so how is there any sense or meaning in life, I feel so far away from the life I was used to before I became ill. It feels like when you think of a word too long it's stops making sense, that's what I feel has happened with life! I find it so very distressing and depressing, I can't escape it and it makes me feel like I'm loosing my mind. The only relief I get is in sleep, where I feel "normal" again, but as soon as I wake up everything feels so strange. I hate it, it's making me so so depressed x