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Thread: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

  1. #131
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Re: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

    I'm not so sure that lying is a big part of it. Perhaps not being entirely honest about things, like you said. I think it's more behaviour in general, we can be very demanding of people without realising it.

    From my therapy, the main thing is it's difficult for us, is to gage how intense we are being when dealing with other people. Sometimes we might go in all guns blazing and other times not say what we are really thinking. Getting caught up in the moment with our emotions rather than being rational, or the oposite being very senseless and cold.

    I wonder with the attention seeking thing, how she would be getting attention by being dishonest and leading you along? I think the main danger would perhaps be getting too attached and then the relationship souring later and becoming a problem.

    In terms of a romantic relationship with two BPD sufferers, it could be potentially damaging to both of you, so be careful. I probably wouldn't use my real family names on the internet so I can understand why the names might not match up. Perhaps you could ask her about it and say that you noticed she had been posting on another site? I think the best thing would to be honest with her and talk about all your fears.

    Jim
    __________________
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    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  2. #132
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    219

    Re: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

    Hi Jim

    I called her tonight and calmly asked about it and she said the other photo was her sister's baby. I've accepted her explanation and we're still planning to meet up next month. She did express doubts about showing up but says that she will be there now. I've arranged to meet in London as there's lots of things to do there and it's close to her and I can stay at a friend's house and go for a drink with my friend if she doesn't show up.

    She was adamant tonight that she does want to see me.

    After all that I've been through, I guess that being unsure about people is part and parcel of my make-up.

    Cheers

    Gordon

  3. #133
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
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    832

    Re: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

    Hi Gordon,

    I'm not so sure that lying is a huge part in BPD, it's more not being completely honest about things. But not just lying for the sake of it. The things I find hard being honest about is my true feelings, on here I can, but when talking to someone face to face, you couldn't really tell as I have a problem with showing my emotions. I can't cry in front of people etc.

    Our behaviour is probably the most distressing thing for us, and our behaviour is sometimes due to feelings that we feel, but find it hard expressing them. Our behaviour can be very impulsive and damaging. We can be very demanding on people at times, like Jim said. I notice it more with my mum, and therapist than anyone else. One minute my therapist can be like a God to me, he can't do anything wrong, I have strong feelings for him, but the minute my needs aren't met or we have an argument I can hate him within seconds. I'm the same with my mum. It's like black or white, there is no grey in between. It's either all good or all bad.

    Just make sure you are honest with each other and talk about what could possibly go wrong, before you get too close. I know within myself that I get too attached to people very quickly and that is part of my BPD. Because I am aware of that I can try and distance myself as best I can without getting hurt. I have a huge fear of abandonment. Just make sure you are aware of all of these things, and maybe take things slow to begin with?

    The best of luck to you, and let us know how you get on,

    Lou xxx
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