Is this normal high anxiety or Citalopram withdrawal?

[LiveAboveIt]

I'm about Day 13 off of Citalopram and still experiencing some pretty intense anxiety, but not in the way of physical symptoms.

I'm still stuck in a strange place feeling like I'm one foot in reality, one foot out. When thoughts pop into my head that ordinarily shouldn't be triggers for anxiety, they are immediately frightening. The thoughts/feelings don't feel like my own and I understand that the high anxiety is what causes the importance of these thoughts and to just dismiss them as thoughts..

It's just very hard to dismiss the thoughts when they arrive with waves of fear and uncertainty. I can rationalize with myself and realize that this thought absolutely should not be a fearful thing and even with this knowledge, I can't get rid of the fear that looms over me accompanying the thought.

It feels like I'm ALWAYS in a state of high anxiety and my brain is constantly seeking out negative thoughts and completely overreacting to each thought and dragging me along with it. Because of this high anxiety, my ability to rationalize and problem solve have gone out the window.. It's almost as if my brain wants nothing to do with my opinion and is going to do all the talking. Still suffering from cognitive impairment, usually only when the anxiety intensifies, which appears to be random and without trigger.

It leaves me feeling very uncertain and out of control, like I'm walking on egg shells all the time with myself. Is anyone going through this or has gone through it?

How the hell do I get everything to go back to normal? I'm reconsidering if I shouldn't reintroduce Citalopram back into my system, because I've read that sometimes withdrawal can last for MONTHS. When people say that, does that include this high anxiety state? Or is it possible to get out of that whilst still undergoing withdrawal?

I just want some opinions or advice on how best to handle this issue. I would LOVE to see a good therapist/psychologist about this, but I can't seem to find any that know their stuff or anything to do with severe anxiety/medications. They all seem to specialize in normal day to day anxiety and don't know much about being stuck in a sensitized state, nor do they seem to practice CBT on anything more than a basic level.

If I can't seem to manage to get out of this state on my own by being 100% alright with the thoughts being there, are meds the only way to get me out of this state and will they actually work?

Thanks in advance.

[23fish]

How long were you on Citalopram? I recently came off it (tapering very slowly) after 15 years. The first week I felt great, then I had a month of withdrawal symptoms - mostly physical, but that's how anxiety affects me. I dealt with it as if they were side effects and by 'observing' them while trying not to react to them. I've read that this works with thoughts as well. Have you read 'The Happiness Trap' by Dr Russ Harris? It's an easy read and makes a lot of sense. Hope things start to improve for you soon x

[LiveAboveIt]

I've been on and off of Citalopram and other meds for around 6 years now, but I've never been on any one med for longer than about a month or so. Recently I was on Citalopram for about 5 weeks before I decided to discontinue because I was having strange reactions to it. I spend more time worrying about the meds and how they are affecting me and it ramps up my anxiety, along with the side effects.

Physical anxiety used to always be my trigger, as well. It wasn't until recently that my anxiety evolved into intrusive thoughts and worry about worry, it was at this point that thoughts in general became the main trigger of mine.

I'll have to look into that book, I have never heard of it or read it, but I'm always open to new ideas.

[Xtrastrongbint]

Live - you are probably experiencing both withdrawal and your own anxiety....see if another couple of weeks does it and if its the same it may be that meds are the only thing that will fix it -but, you will need more than a month on a med - very few kick in till week 6 properly x

[Bramwell1]

I'm in week four of cold turkey off 10mg Citalopram taken for eight weeks.
I had dreadful reactions to it (nausea, vomiting, intense anxiety etc etc) so had to stop dead - cold turkey - on my doctor's instruction.
This week I had a couple of days of very intense anxiety then one with almost none and then today medium anxiety.
My main problem is my stomach and sickness and vomiting. I haven't eaten much for nearly four weeks now. I feel nauseas and vomit every days still.
I had a blood test which was all normal and I have an endoscopy next week to rule out anything physical, but the doctors refuse to admit it's all due to a very bad reaction to the tablets and now the added difficulty of going cold turkey off them. Only the emergency doctor said undoubtedly the tablets.

[LiveAboveIt]

Im having an incredibly difficult time with my thoughts.. My cognition is quickly returning since stopping the Citalopram on March 25th.. and most of the old anxiety has ceased, but.. Im having a ton of issues controlling my thoughts.. Since quitting the Cit, Ive been having pretty intense waves of anxiety/stress just randomly striking me constantly throughout the day, every few minutes or so, accompanied by anxious thoughts.. its like I cant change the channel, but different somehow from normal anxiety.. All of my anxious thoughts are accompanied by a severe feeling of stress/anxiety when it comes to thinking of or being reminded of the anxiety, especially when trying to distract myself. Its very distressing because I cant seem to think about anything else and it keeps blasting me with reminders.. Normally Im able to distract myself or forget about the anxiety momentarily, but not right now and its driving me mad..

Im worried that I made thinking about the anxiety a trigger somehow and even when I accept it and dont fight it, I accept that I am going to have to feel this way for now.. It just continues to spiral me into fear/frustration.. I have been practicing this for a week now, but it just doesnt seem to be getting me anywhere.

I really dont want to get on meds again because they have never really worked for me and just cause side effects. Can going through SSRI withdrawal affect your mind in this way?

I know that if the anxiety would decrease, it would make the thoughts and associated feelings seem much less intense and easier to dismiss, but Im worried that the anxiety will never decrease if I dont find a way to somehow turn this off or tune this out, but its so damn hard when its your thoughts and you cant escape them. My girlfriend keeps trying to reassure me that its just withdrawals, but I cant convince myself of it and have no idea how long this will take to go away.

I have almost no physical symptoms of anxiety other than some muscle strain and some minor heart racing, or they are just so mild that I dont notice them. It all seems to just be the feeling of anxiety and stress, purely psychological symptoms which leaves me feeling like Im losing my mind.. My moods are all over the place too, which isnt my norm.. Very short tempered, easy to stress, and some overemotional crying spells when I feel overwhelmed that last for 30 seconds or so.

I apologize if I seem really panicked or over the top, Ive been trying to ignore it all day and use positive affirmation and its left me mentally exhausted.

[Nessy99]

Hi there LiveAboveit,

I'm sorry your having a tough time with the withdrawal. I'm in a similar position myself. I stopped Sertraline last summer and have been trying to get back on SSRI's with little success ever since. My most recent was with prozac for 7 days in early March. It didn't go well and i started to get bad body shakes and restless legs. A month later these symptoms are still with me, though a little less severe. The prozac also made me a little agrophobic and those thoughts still remain with me when i try to leave the house a month later.

I also get the stress reaction when these negative thoughts/feelings happen. Clare Weekes called it '2nd fear', a stress reaction to an upsetting thought (i think that's what she meant at least) . It's very normal when you are in nervous state. Try not to worry about your thoughts and try not to worry about your reactions to your thoughts. I can see from your post you already know all this but reassurance sometimes helps.

This withdrawal will fade with time. Like me you seem very sensitive to the meds. SSRI's can be a bit much for some people when they are already anxious. Rest assured these withdrawals, and the upsetting physical and emotional symptoms that go with them, will fade in time. Soon you'll start to have good and bad hours, good and bad days. It's only been a 2/3 weeks since you came off them. Many years ago i did a month on Mirtazapine. It was awful. When i came off them i cried solidly for 2 months. I wasn't doing that before i went on them. It passed in the end, it just faded away slowly. It will pass for you too.

Best Wishes.

[LiveAboveIt]

Hi there LiveAboveit,

I'm sorry your having a tough time with the withdrawal. I'm in a similar position myself. I stopped Sertraline last summer and have been trying to get back on SSRI's with little success ever since. My most recent was with prozac for 7 days in early March. It didn't go well and i started to get bad body shakes and restless legs. A month later these symptoms are still with me, though a little less severe. The prozac also made me a little agrophobic and those thoughts still remain with me when i try to leave the house a month later.

I also get the stress reaction when these negative thoughts/feelings happen. Clare Weekes called it '2nd fear', a stress reaction to an upsetting thought (i think that's what she meant at least) . It's very normal when you are in nervous state. Try not to worry about your thoughts and try not to worry about your reactions to your thoughts. I can see from your post you already know all this but reassurance sometimes helps.

This withdrawal will fade with time. Like me you seem very sensitive to the meds. SSRI's can be a bit much for some people when they are already anxious. Rest assured these withdrawals, and the upsetting physical and emotional symptoms that go with them, will fade in time. Soon you'll start to have good and bad hours, good and bad days. It's only been a 2/3 weeks since you came off them. Many years ago i did a month on Mirtazapine. It was awful. When i came off them i cried solidly for 2 months. I wasn't doing that before i went on them. It passed in the end, it just faded away slowly. It will pass for you too.

Best Wishes.

Thanks, Nessy. You really did calm my nerves and I feel very reassured. It does help, especially to hear about someone else having the same sensitive reaction to the meds and withdrawal. Its nice to know that all of this will eventually fade with time and I hope that you feel better very soon.

I super appreciate the response.