On The Road Traveling And Having Issues Please Help?

[Carnation]

mnaha, I am not surprised by anything you have said.
You are tired, stressed, nervous and scared.
Considering all of that, you have done well so far.
I find that 3 hours tends to be my maximum. I get a terrible thirst on, my legs go like jelly, when I get out of the car I feel light-headed and nauseous from hunger.
Always make sure you travel after you have eaten, keep sipping a non-alcoholic drink and keep your mind off of the worries by concentrating on what's around you and talking about it out loud.
You know you have to do this journey, there's no turning back and remember what I told you; you are leaving your anxiety behind you!
When you stop, get plenty of rest and sleep and eat well.
You can do this mnaha.
I am saying this as a person who was in a car crash and screamed every time she got in to a car and had to travel blindfolded for months just to get from A-B. If I can do it. You can too.

[mnaha]

Carnation, thanks for the encouragement. We are suppose to start again tomorrow and I am not feeling very secure although I don't want to stay here either. I can identify with all the things you mentioned as I experienced them all a time or two yesterday . We stopped about three times. I am a little queasy now and was very nauseated last night. I don't know if that was just the stress or maybe the fact that I did not eat well yesterday and then ate heavy last night. Hopefully we have rested well and will tonight before we leave tomorrow although the forecast calls for rain for the next three days here. I also worry that my eyes might not be up to par because they tend not to be very good in gloomy weather.

Anyway I am anxious , what can I say ? But thank you for your support and I do want to put this travel anxiety behind me but I keep thinking what will I do if I need a hospital while driving and there is none for a long way? Its scary but hopefully I can overcome it.

I sure don't want to do this but I have no choice as we don't have a home now and we are at the mercy of the road. I used to look at all this as an adventure but have lost my confidence and even the confidence my wife used to have in me and now since she doubts me , I doubt myself. Its very sad..

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think it's early days though. This could get easier as you adjust to it. I feel that if you were truly severe enough, your anxiety wouldn't have dipped at all. I know at my worst stages it was 24/7 and I was amazed I could even sleep with that. Whilst it would subside through the day, it was still bad and there was absolutely no respite, no sense of things feeling ok. So, when you said things got easier the more you were on the road, I see that as a good sign that you are capable of reducing it, I wasn't back then, and if you were as bad with the anxiety as I was at that point, I think you would have suffered all day long with respite. So, perhaps take that as a good sign?

What a good point about adventure. That's how I used to feel. With anxiety it's more about seeking safety and sadly the more we do it, the more we shrink our bubble. The more we push the bubble out, the more confidence we gain. At first things don't seem to help much but at some point that changes and we start to believe in ourselves again. You may find this on the road at some point or perhaps at the other end you will look back and feel a sense of achievement from it and gain in confidence?

The worry about medical help is the same as at home. Whilst emergency services were closer, were they ever really close enough for the worry we can feel about all this? Even 5 minutes can feel a long time when we are feeling panic symptoms. And you've never needed them, so why would you need them now? You've done 4 hours and a couple of days and not needed them.

I think it's natural for our partners to worry and doubt because they see us worried. She said to you how she was amazed how you did all that physical work though so her confidence was boosted there. Don't forget that. The more you push through this journey, the more she will regain her confidence in you having confidence in yourself.

[mnaha]

Thanks for the vote of confidence and hope that all goes well. I at this moment am having mixed feelings back and forth but think a lot of plus feelings and excitement verses anxiety . Its funny you should say that about medical services as I was sitting here thinking the same thing. After all, I have never needed them and since I went to the hospital er over a year ago we haven't been back or needed to. Also I was thinking that "have I ever been that much safer at our home than I am on the road?" I don't think so because we still had to get in the car and drive about 20 miles to the hospital and 14 miles to the doctor so I have calculated most of the towns on the route we choose and we are already in the car and the towns are about 20 miles apart on a major highway so maybe that isn't so bad.

I just let her read what I had said and she thought about it and said yes .you were no safer than you will be on the road and actually I think that is one thing over the years that helped me is that I always kind of had that thought in the back of my mind although I was distracted by some awesome scenery over the years and forgot about anxiety and changed it to excitement. Perhaps that will happen again. I have been in remote places and roads that I know for a fact there would be no rescue and no help and have made it just fine.

I have been to headhunter country in the Philippines in more than one remote location where it is almost inaccessible in anyway for help. I have been on remote islands and also remote stretches of water where there was no help and done fine and also some tracts of desert 200 miles from even a petrol station so that gives you and idea that at that time I must have not been anxious or worried about medical services.. so it can be done. I just hope I can overcome it again and get that sense of wonder back instead of terror and worry .

I thank you so much for your support and your kind words ,It has helped me so very much and is still helping me. Thank you again.

[Carnation]

You are perfectly capable of doing this mnaha. You've already done the hardest bit. You are not on your own and you are in control of the situation and can go at your own pace. The only thing that is stopping you is 'Fear'!
Yes, I know it is not easy. but when you break the barrier of fear, it DOES subside.
How many times have we all thought that we are moments from something terrible happening and how many times did something actually bad happen? NONE!
Keep that adventure in your mind, think of the positives you will achieve this and getting there. Your wife wouldn't be sitting by your side if she didn't think you were capable.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I like the sound of the mixed feelings. Anxiety is going to be there, you knew this, but to have positive emotions too is excellent because you can choose to go with them and let them push the anxiety down naturally. If you really were ONLY anxious about this, you know that curiosity and excitement just wouldn't be there. Perhaps it has sparked you old adventurous side that you thought was buried deep?

Exactly. You have never needed them. It's like with my asthma, I would carry not one but two Relievers a) just in case my breathing suffered and b) just in case one of them failed. Guess how many times I've needed them over the years of my anxiety? Once. And that was when I was in the house and had not been taking my Preventers for ages. 9 years on, never once needed them. That should tell me that despite panic and anxiety - I don't need them. I've done sprints with my dog on his walkies - I've never needed them. It's a safety behaviour, and they reinforce the fear underpinning why we think we need them.

You can do this, like Carnation I believe in you.

[Samantha choc lover]

Hi there

Been reading your post and just want to say that i think alot of your symptoms ie: Dizziness, nausea, needing to urinate frequently are anxiety related.I also think you're very tired!. The heart problems you speak of are classic anxiety symptoms. My advice would be to try not to worry about them too much, it's just your body's way of reacting to stress. Try and relax into the way you are feeling right now, and don't pay your thoughts about having heart problems, worry you!. I know this is easier said than done, but the more attention you give to your beating heart or your pulse, the more you will worry unessecarily. Eat and drink well and try and sleep whenever you can. X

[mnaha]

Instead of listing all of you, I think its very apparent who to tell thank you . So far today we drove another 221 miles and got settled in a hotel for the next two days for rest. I did ok although I was a little apprehensive I kept thinking about what was said here and pushing on.

There were moments that I had thinking "what if" but they passed as I thought about your support . Also I thought about what Terry had said as well about how safe was I really in my apartment versus being on the road and about the question whether I ever needed the hospital or medical services. All the things that were said to me kept going through my brain but as I neared our destination I don't know if it was the absence of food or the excitement of reaching our destination my stomach started causing bad gas and my heart started skipping.

As we got close to where we were going I kept seeing hospital signs and my mind automatically thought they might be a bad omen since I was having skipping heart so bad. We stopped in a petrol station parking lot and relaxed for a few minutes then proceeded on and got to where we were going.

That was the worse part of the drive today and then when we got to the hotel to find our room was on the second floor . I haven't climbed stairs in four or five months. I did fine and did not even get out of breath. So overall things might be looking up and hopefully I can keep my mind from going to negative thoughts. I think that is the key as long as I don't get negative thoughts and I don't gas too much.

Lately I have been having issues with gas causing me to get nervous when it pushes on my heart. I have to take gas pills and hope it goes away and sometimes I go walk a little if I am where I can. Anyway knowing that its only gas and it will go away soon is one part of it and keeping my mind positive. Anyway just wanted to say thank you all again and hope that I continue to at least do as well. We still have about 1200 miles to go and keeping my fingers crossed I can keep panic at bay. Also I have broken out in a rash on my right hand and think it might be dry skin and having that hand on the steering wheel but I will try some lotion and hope that takes care of it. Once again thank you all for your tremendous support.

[Samantha choc lover]

Hi Mnaha

It's good to hear you're doing so well!. I think you sound like you're in great shape physically so i wouldn't be concerned with the palpitations. When they come just let them be, they will pass. Breathing excercises are really good for anxiety, breathe in slowly through your nose, to a count of 5 or more, then breathe out to a count of 7 or more. Just practice, it might be difficult at first but it will get easier!. Your body might take a small amount of time to catch up because of tension. But it will catch up!. Just take each day as it comes, forget the what if's, there's no point, it just wastes energy. Just concentrate or rather "float" through today. X

[Carnation]

Well Done mnaha 221 miles, you did brilliantly.

I have the 'Gas' problem too which causes pain around the heart area and then it triggers off the mind in to thinking you know what? But, every time, nothing bad happens and that is what you have to remember. It's just Gas and nothing else.
I get a nervous tummy too, but I find a banana settles mine, but everyone is different.

Now, you mention about the stair climbing, I have had it where I feel all breathy and panicky and all the symptoms are going and then I have climbed 2 flight of stairs and not been out of breath??? So, I try to look at everything logically and tell myself that if I can climb flights of stairs, then my heart must be working ok.

No, I think this journey will be beneficial for you. It will show you that you are healthy and can still do stuff like this. Like I said, it's breaking through the barrier of fear, being careful not to do too much, which you are monitoring.
And I applaud you for your courage manaha.

Vaseline is good for the hand. My partner was told to use Vaseline for his scar after his cancer op, so it won't be harmful to you.