Scared to go to the toilet??

[sleepymusician]

My HA has gotten to the point that I feel like I'm actually trying to find something wrong with me...
...Latest problem is this: I'm afraid to go to the toilet now! Literally!!
Why? Because I'm just so flipping scared that I'm going to see something ridiculously wrong and I'm going to die!!! I mean like, surely it's better to see if there's something wrong with me and get treatment but!!! Arhgghhg!!

I posted recently about being scared I have a parasite, after seeing what I think was some undigested food when I wiped. Yesterday I had the upmost joy of seeing two seed-like things when I wiped! I had eaten sesame seeds the day before, so I'm trying to tell myself it was those, but I'm so scared to go to the toilet again because what if they weren't sesame seeds? What if they were actually eggs???

This is seriously destroying my life...

[GingerFish]

I had a fear of going to the toilet too when my HA was at its highest. I was scared I would have severe diarrhea and would pass out from weakness or the pain as I had felt that so much while sitting on the toilet. I would hold in pees and poos which was a bad idea and it was bloody painful. I would only go to the toilet at home and if my partner would stand at the bathroom door just to make sure if I fainted or anything, he could help me. This fear was at that high level for about a month. Now I only ask him to stand if I have diarrhea whereas I would make him go with me even if it were only a pee.

[sleepymusician]

Argh, I'm so glad that there's someone who has been (still is?) in the same condition as me right now!! Hopefully I'll be able to get over this soon, definitely going to talk to my counsellor about it on Thursday.