Cancelling arrangements/appointments

[Slothette]

Hello Everyone

I have terrible problems with cancelling arrangements with people and also cancelling appointments.

The problems arise when I maybe having a good day and I'll make an arrangement to go somewhere with someone the following week. I'll end up either working myself into a state anticipating that I will panic or I'll be having a bad day that day and cancel anyway. This has caused so many problems with friends and family that I'm in danger of taking myself off to live on a desert island.....that way I won't have to face anybody!! I'm tired of explaining about this anxiety/panic lark only to be met with blank faces. It's so hard trying to make people understand.

The other problem is that I end up feeling terribly guilty for letting people down. This makes me even more anxious and around and around it goes. More anxiety equals more panic!

Is anyone else having similar problems and does anyone have any answers please? Thanks for reading.

Take care

Lexxie xxx

[fightingonstill]

Sorry no answers but yes i do that too!
Nikki

[bubblygirl]

Oh yes I used to be exactly the same. I'd be feeling good so I'd make plans and then when it came to it I chickened out. I thinks its normal I really do and now I manage to keep arrangments even if i dont feel like going so dont be too hard on yourself you will get there. i know enjoy going out coz i enjoy the challenge of overcoming the panic and anxiety. Good luck and just remeber you wont always feel this way it does get easier i never thought it would at one point i never used to leave the house but dont rush yourself it will come when its ready. take care.

Sarah x x

[Slothette]

Hi Bubblygirl

Thanks for replying. It looks like I should just do it even if I'm having a tough day maybe then things will get easier. Perhaps I'm looking at things the wrong way and should see going out as a challenge instead of an ordeal! Sometimes things get a bit overwhelming and it's hard to think straight when you're dealing with the "what if's".....I'm so glad things have improved for you. It gived me so much hope for the future

Hi Fightingonstill......thanks for replying too. It makes it so much easier when you read that other people are going through the same things. I hope you're doing ok

Lexxie xxx

[kate]

It's such a pain in the butt isn't it?

For years I would arrange to do things/go somewhere only to then be dreading it as the time drew nearer and end up cancelling, feeling guilty etc.

Now though I just do things I want to do and don't do what I don't want to! I have also given up guilt tripping cos all it does is make me feel even more down on myself.

I was speaking with my counsellor this week and I told him that although lots of things are better in my life there may always be certain things I will not do. BUT, I'm ok with this, that is the difference. Learn to say no, learn to realise that the earth wont stop moving just because we don't always want to do things.

Above all, drop the guilt. It's a pointless, self destructing emotion!

Kate

[statycBG]

Yes that is familar to me.The only thing you should do is to Not cancel the things who makes you affraid.just do them.You maybe be anxieous or panicly the first couple of times but with more and more trying you will realise that you are stronger,than your fears.

[Slothette]

Hi Kate

Thankyou so much for replying. I think it's fantastic that you have got to the point where you're making the choice about what you want to do and what you don't want to do. I think my problem is that I haven't reached that stage yet because it's like the panic attacks are making my choices for me. I guess I am letting them control me too much at the moment.


Hi satycBG......thankyou for the advice. I know you're right of course. It's hard sometimes to put it into practice. I must say though that I have been trying hard lately not to cancel and some things have definately got a lot easier.......onwards and upwards!!


Take care

Lexxie xxx